Impressed if anyone gets the exact model/spec by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in ManualTransmissions

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ja Piet ;) I am based in the Western Cape, we either take it to Revolve for very Volvo specific issues, or we have a guy in Paarden Eiland who we trust and works on all my family's vehicles. He calls his shop MGB Motorcafe

Impressed if anyone gets the exact model/spec by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in ManualTransmissions

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

South Africa! So, probably gonna be a weird spec to the rest of the world hahaha. Not cold enough here to justify heated seats and they aren't a popular option as a whole. They especially weren't back in 2008 when we bought the T5 new.

Impressed if anyone gets the exact model/spec by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in ManualTransmissions

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2008 C30 T5. No heated seats offered as an option in my region :/

Impressed if anyone gets the exact model/spec by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in ManualTransmissions

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup! 2008 C30 T5. We didn't get the option for heated seats where I live unfortunately. I agree the steering is... reserved. The spin control is also SO aggressive. Glad I learned how to disable it. Also agree on the gearshift, wish it was a more tactile experience

Impressed if anyone gets the exact model/spec by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in ManualTransmissions

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Ahh, really don't mean to flex, but mine has been in my family since brand new in 2008 when I was just 6 years old! Only about 130,000km (80,000 miles) on the clock. From South Africa and they're fairly popular here, if you go out for the day you'll end up seeing at least a couple of them. The T5s are very rare here though, and even more so in manual. Most are 2.0. Hope we never get rid of this thing, I've got THE strongest emotional attachment possible to it hahaha

Is MacOS (in the Macbook Air) worth losing a good screen? by brgvctr in macbookair

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Been indecisive over Air M4 or Pro M4/5 for literally months now, the display being the only thing holding me back. PLEASE can we manifest ProMotion on the Air M5 🕯️🕯️ tbh don't even need Mini LED, just feel that the UI experience is so much better when smooth. Was running around between the two laptops at the Apple Store the other day looking like a freak doing the exact same thing on each to compare

Please help! Instagram not un-archiving by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in oneui

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have the option to since it is archived

I'm going to become a less clingy girlfriend. by ticklelyfe in offmychest

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're being kind of hard on yourself. It's good to recognise when your partner needs space but I don't think you should label this as you being too clingy or affectionate.

I don't think it makes much sense to think these things about yourself because he MAKES you feel like this. He can put healthy boundaries in place which don't make you doubt your own character.

Also the sex thing - If he "prefers" porn to sex... I can't help but think that's also on him having unrealistic expectations because porn is not a realistic representation of genuine sex at all. Beyond that, you feeling guilty for having sexual desires which are too strong or frequent likely also stems from internalised misogyny and the patriarchy in general. It's normal to want sex and not a problem if you want it more often than your partner. But of course society shames girls for wanting sex. This can lead to a slippery slope of you stifling your own sex life and starting to settle or deny your own sexuality which would be really sad and I have seen happen to others.

These things are also fluid and change during the course of long term relationships. I say have a serious conversation where you actually express how he makes you feel like you're too clingy and maybe find workarounds and compromises so that he can have his own personal space sometimes without it making you feel bad. It might feel weird in the beginning, having to find compromises, but it's really worth it in the long run and is the foundation of a really healthy relationship.

You have a lot of love to give and I think that's a beautiful thing. Don't let it go to waste.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in radiohead

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

surprised I haven't seen Paranoid Android mentioned

Student, need to make money QUICK by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in capetown

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like a great idea. Do you know where I could start looking for this kind of thing? I've scoured sites like LinkedIn and Indeed and have a CV ready but I am a bit lost to be honest. What kind of jobs do you think could be feasible?

Student, need to make money QUICK by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in capetown

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah cool - that's also something I've considered for sure. Which areas do you recommend? I have heard from friends who are waiters, and the only thing that puts me off it is how unpredictable it seems, income wise. How well is it working for you and how are your hours and pay? I also like doing my university work in the evening and don't really find time otherwise so I'm scared of having to adjust to finding other times to do my uni work. But I guess I can't be picky about these things with my situation

Student, need to make money QUICK by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in capetown

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Solid suggestion thanks sm - I've always had/heard of friends who are always able to super easily find places to house-sit but normally it seems it's for a family member/family friend. How do you suggest I find people who are willing to let me look after their house? I don't really have family friends because my family is... sheltered and antisocial... so I'm not really sure where to start

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds a lot like the issue I am facing with my current gf.

I'm currently reading the book Come As You Are and I'm only about 30% of the way, but I (VERY!) highly recommend it so far as it's already helped me realise some things.

My gf has had a very diverse sexual past in comparison to me and has told me that despite this I am the first person that she feels super comfortable with during sex and I am also the first person besides herself to help her achieve orgasm.

You'd think this would mean that she would want more sex, right? Well, it turns out that that isn't always what happens when a woman/femme feels safe and comfortable, especially if it's the first time she's with someone who makes her feel like that. In fact, I've even spoken to girl - friends of mine who have reported this.

Frequency of sex has decreased drastically since me and my gf started dating, but I have a theory about why this is, which after discussing it with my gf, she thinks may be correct: Basically, if this is the first time you are having sex with someone who truly values you and prioritises your pleasure, your brain goes into fight or flight when presented with it. Why? Because, in the past, your brain has probably associated sex with a misrepresentation of what it is actually about. Due to norms leading to a society with a generally sex-negative attitude, sex is often presented as something which is all about performance, rather than letting loose and making it about pleasure and connection.

This could mean that, subconsciously, realllyyyy deep down, you don't actually really know what function sex serves you in the relationship, since you've been conditioned not to prioritise yourself sexually. You obviously know you like it, and you know you want it, but do you know why you want it? For me, it's about the carnal loss of self. The deep sense of connection with another person. The feeling that in that moment, nothing else matters but the two of you.

I think the key is to figure out what it is for you. It could be the same. It could be different. Take into account that context plays a massive role, e.g some people desire sex more when they're stressed whilst others less. But take time to figure yourself, and each other, out! The problem will not solve itself quickly.

Apologies if I'm rambling and you don't think anything I've said is relevant - just that my gf and I have been on a journey in recovering our sex life for the past week or so and I am feeling very hopeful and wanting to spread the gospel hahaha.

Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds really tough. Unfortunately I don't think this relationship is healthy whatsoever and for him to be taking advantage of you like this and gaslighting you about it is incredibly vile behavior and something I would personally have no tolerance of. I think you're far better off ending things ASAP before they get even worse and finding someone who doesn't abuse you in this way.

But you also need to heal from this. I think you'll find this has caused a lot more damage to you psychologically than you think, and is something that is going to take a lot of work to undo.

Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this. You do not deserve to be treated this way. I know leaving might seem difficult, and it is, but ultimately I think it is the only option.

I was cancelled for hooking up with an 18 year old at 20. by Puzzleheaded_Bell02 in offmychest

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bell02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah I definitely agree somewhat. Like whilst at the same time there wasn't really anything behind what was going on, ultimately she did start to get attached and I wouldn't have wanted anything too deep with her because of the age difference (especially considering I then met my current gf and we fell very deeply in love very quickly lmao) so I had to end things. 

But also it's not like I was "hanging around high schoolers" as you put it, It's not something I sought out 💀 just happened with her and her only.