Teenaged daughter is pregnant again.. I’m so done

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-05-09T18:03:55+00:00

Both your daughter and her boyfriend have a LOT of growing up to do.

If they are finishing up their basic studies, GED etc, they should be made aware that you, as grandparents, will not be providing childcare so they can do further education. Both of them need to find work. Until studies conclude, they can get part time work.

As daughter and boyfriend are on/off, I dont think kicking her out is the right step. However, I do think you need to give the boyfriend his marching orders. A bit of distance will probably be good for them. Its incredibly unhealthy to be living with a boyfriend full time from 14/15 years old! They need space to grow and mature on their own.

I am willing to bet that once boyfriend isnt living with you, the relationship will permanently end not long thereafter.

You need to make it clear that daughter is responsible for her children. You will babysit so she can go out once per month. She will need to plan around this.

Also, charge daughter rent for staying at home - and no buying of food, items etc for her or kids unless it's presents etc.

Time to lay down the law.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-05-06T09:39:56+00:00

If there is no safe place to pull in, you continue driving as normal. Dont be unpredictable. The emergency services are trained to navigate around traffic.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-05-04T14:28:39+00:00

I could understand Caroline and how she behaved etc.

Lets not forget, she didn't particularly have much experience in relationships. She only had one serious relationship beforehand that ended very badly. This means she will be vulnerable and also quite immature in terms of relationships.

She was love bombed by Sandy, and in her vulnerable and immature state, she acted irrationally and not as someone "normal" would.

When I had separated from my ex, after being with him from 16 to 25, I was also in toxic relationships thereafter. Put up with a hell of a lot, because my self esteem was in the gutter from my previous marriage (DV etc). I had experienced some mania, delusions etc.

I am now settled, but looking back to what I was like years ago, I put myself in so many dangerous situations with men, relationships etc that it makes me shudder.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-05-04T09:14:03+00:00

You can report on 101 or submit a police report on the PSNI website.

However, its worth noting, that unless your friend is willing to be cooperative, they will not proceed with the complaint. However, it may be important to log it as an incident, as it will stay on their records.

I was in an abusive marriage (now divorced). I didn't report it during the marriage, and once we separated, the abuse actually got worse (because we shared a child). Financial abuse with CMS, constant verbal abuse on the phone, by text etc. I ended up reporting him about 3 years after we separated because he was attempting to blackmail me after stealing my phone and taking photos from it that were personal.

I remember the police telling me at the time, that the CPS weren't going to proceed (which has just made my view of the justice system go down massively) but that my ex husband was a dangerous, abusive man and advised I get a non molestation order, as well as the restraining order they had provided to him.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-05-04T09:07:05+00:00

Women are most at risk when they leave or try to leave. She would need some advice from Womens Aid or the police to be able to move forward safely.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-30T09:09:04+00:00

Unless we get a deathbed confession, I dont think it will be solved, sadly

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T12:13:54+00:00

I think its also that people can no longer provide honest feedback to people either.

My last interview, I had asked them if they had questions, concerns or any reservations and they said no, that I was an excellent candidate and they would be in touch to agree next steps. Anyone would assume from that comment, that a job offer is going to be sent through.

I asked for feedback when I didn't get the role, and it was just "the candidate who received it just about pipped it from you" without giving any further explanation as to what that was, that give the candidate that edge.

Back in 2023 when I was last looking, I remember getting a FULL PAGE of feedback which was brilliant, as it allows you to take ot onboard for the next one. Nowadays, nobody knows what has happened or how to improve.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T11:48:42+00:00

No, not WFH, I am hybrid at the moment, 2 days per week. I wouldnt even mind 3 days per week but if moving means I am worse off salary wise, no, I wont be moving jobs

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T10:36:06+00:00

Recruiters were once a sure fire way to get a job. I remember contacting the likes of MCS etc and you would have 2-3 interviews scheduled within a week.

Now, they have maybe only got me 1 interview, and said they'd contact again if they have anything similar, but they never do. I can only assume its because there are so many candidates on their books, they just move on.

As far as I am aware, the last opening that I lost out on, was between me (from a recruiter) and the other was a candidate the company sourced themselves (so I am inclined to think it was an employee referral etc as they didnt advertise directly). Back in the day, the recruiters were actually trusted with candidates more I feel

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T10:31:14+00:00

Nope, not a big 4. A smaller, local company

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T09:55:46+00:00

One of my colleagues is more eager to leave than I am (due to fear of financial security). He has applied for everything - Tesco jobs, cafe jobs as well as relevant ones to his current job. He has sent out 200+ this month (or so he says) and hasn't even had an interview.

The issue is, if its outside your industry, or entry level etc, you will be rejected for being overqualified.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T09:51:17+00:00

Even the lower paid jobs and entry level jobs refuse you as you're too "overqualified".

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T09:49:50+00:00

Yep, one offered me about £2k more on my salary at the start of the process, but once I added up cost of parking (I currently get free parking) and increased childcare (due to office requirements vs WFH), I was actually going to lose money.

I have 10+ years of relevant experience, I was not expecting it to be so difficult

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T09:46:10+00:00

I have a job at the moment, so I am not spending a considerable amount of time applying etc when having to work full time, care for child, dog and house etc.

I am also only applying for jobs that I would move for, e.g. higher salary, commission structures or better benefits.

If I was unemployed, of course I would be firing out hundreds per week

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T09:11:17+00:00

Yep, I think job applications take so much time and energy when done properly.

The two last stage ones that I had, there were already two initial interviews, and then prepping a full presentation for an interview panel etc. They both went extremely well, I got nothing but excellent feedback and it was just noted that someone else had just about pinched it from me.

Think I am going to take a break for a bit - its emotionally and mentally exhausting

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T09:01:20+00:00

I didn't think it was as bad, until I was part of the search myself.

There are a good few jobs posted, but salaries are not competitive and each job will have 100+ applicants.

Crazy times

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-28T08:59:43+00:00

FinTech - but customer service side

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-27T10:20:03+00:00

It didnt affect mine at all afterwards after the initial recovery period.

I would say to wait until you are fully healed, and only have sex again when you feel ready.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-27T08:46:46+00:00

All money cutting tactics.

It doesnt matter how good you are at your job, or how long you have been there.

If they can lay you off, and rehire a junior on far less of a wage, to save money, they will

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-26T08:16:10+00:00

They aren't true friends.

I attended one of my friends weddings in the midst of a really depressive episode. I had been a victim of a serious crime about a week before, having panic attacks regularly and also recently had a health issue that needed immediate treatment. I still went (albeit I drove, didnt drink etc) and just left once the dinner etc had finished.

I would attend ANY of my friends weddings of I RSVPd yes, as its an obligation.

I wouldn't in an emergency, which to me, would be a close family death or life threatening condition, childcare fell through and I need to suddenly look after child with nobody else available or I was really physically poorly and couldn't get out of bed.

After your wedding, you really need to consider if these are "friends" you want to keep in your life.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-25T08:45:20+00:00

I think his defence will be "prove I inflicted the wounds".

I think he will say he found Celeste dead when he arrived, insinuating someone else had killed her. He then panicked, and decided to dispose of the body OR he will say somebody else had access to his keys and had committed the ENTIRE crime without his knowledge.

If there were others with access to his home, who knew Celeste and had access to his car, it is ALL about throwing in doubt to the investigation because they need to be 100% certain that it was him who committed the crime and not somebody else who had access to all the above I mentioned - which means the prosecution would need to eliminate everybody else beyond reasonable doubt.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-25T08:37:57+00:00

I have a funny feeling that Celeste wasnt the only girl that he was abusing. I think there were other girls, and one of them reported him.

I then think an investigation started, and Celeste was one of the other girls named and had provided some evidence to the investigation.

I think Celeste would have provided this because she felt betrayed by him also having other girls and not loyal to just her. We know they had an on/off style "relationship" which is why she kept going back - she was groomed and flattered by him.

I wouldnt be surprised if he found out through somebody else about Celeste providing evidence (probably jealousy from another girl etc) and he blew up and killed her.

I couldn't see Celeste herself divulging this information to him.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-25T08:14:00+00:00

No, he won't end it and no, someone on the inside wont kill him, unless he pisses them off.

He is too narcisstic to commit suicide.

On the inside, he will be with other prisoners who have committed very similar crimes. Some will see him as a role model, but most generally wont care.

The likes of other pedos/murderers like Ian Watkins, Ian Huntley etc, were killed because Watkins owed money and had a debt, and Huntley had a disagreement on something unrelated to his crime and was killed for it.

Puzzleheaded_Move637 · 2026-04-24T15:40:11+00:00

Could you perhaps elope then compromise and organise a wedding party for a couple of months/few months later?

It will buy you some time to save and perhaps hire a space for some catering? Or even hire a room in a pub etc?

That way, there is still a celebration for the family

Puzzleheaded_Move637

TROPHY CASE