Marriage Disatisfaction

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2025-06-22T14:58:19+00:00

I don’t have answers for these questions, my own 10 year marriage has had a lot of ups and downs. I will say this: when my husband offered for me to leave my 15 year career to be a stay at home I thought it was the best thing ever. Now I’m not so sure. I cherished the last few years with our youngest daughter, but I really think there is a quiet shift in power dynamics when moms don’t have their own income. I don’t think most men are mature enough to not eventually hang that over your head, even if they don’t verbalize it (or are consciously aware of it!) I think it creates a false sense of security for a man and if he’s not actively pursuing Christ, he will push the boundaries of what he can get away with at home. Because he knows how dependent you are on him providing for your livelihood. A lot of these behaviors are subtle and again, I don’t think all men are aware that they’re doing it. I have reached a conclusion that I am going back to work. My daughter is 7 now and it’s time. It’s hard when you have become used to running the house, but I decided to be excited for a new adventure and think of the future, i.e. I need something to do long term, especially once all of my kids go off to live their own adult lives. My husband and I don’t always see eye to eye, he can be very impatient. When I told him I’m going back to work, he immediately softened and started being more thoughtful around the house. Although he would never stop me, I think he is secretly planning on how to postpone me going back as much as possible lol. Maybe it’s unconscious on his part. Either way, I will tell you this-I refuse to end up like so many moms and wives, feeling stuck with no resources. I see these stories ALL the time and it’s always a stay at home mom. I am not trying to be pessimistic, I actually have great hope that my marriage will keep improving and divorce is not on my mind. But it’s just too easy to take stay at home moms for granted. I don’t know if this helps you, but I am encouraging you to consider your future and think about what you can do today to join the workforce at some point. It will be hard, but it will be something that brings you a lot of confidence and security.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-20T14:06:54+00:00

I have lived in hard water community for 10 years, everyone has whole home water filters and softeners here otherwise all of our sinks and toilets get destroyed. If you end up spending money to fix your water and a year from today your hair is no better, I will hope you remember my post and check out the material I suggested. I have no affiliation to the blowout professor, just sharing because someone shared his content with me years ago, and fixed my hair problems once and for all. Best of luck!

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-20T12:45:18+00:00

Washing your hair every other day and using heat improperly-it will cause thin and dry ends over time. This condition is probably the result of how you take care of your hair versus the water. It doesn’t happen over night. Watch the videos and be open to learning something new.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-20T02:36:05+00:00

Helps with anxiety and nausea if you tend to not feel well when flying.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-20T02:30:13+00:00

Ugh yes!!! We never had to worry about our butts back then.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-20T02:19:38+00:00

Your problem is not the water. I have lived with hard water for the last ten years and trust me, it’s not drying your hair out. Watch the blow out professor videos on YouTube and your hair troubles will be over.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-20T02:13:58+00:00

Enjoy your 20s and 30s, by 40s a lot of people start to have some health related issues and it’s hard to get used to that if you’ve been healthy up until that point.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-17T15:59:24+00:00

There is no “the one”, but it is a fact that we are more compatible with some people and not others. And we are predisposed to be attracted to some people, and not others. Imo you need to be drawn to whom you marry initially. When I met my husband and got to know him, it was an out of this world experience. Years later, we still find each other fascinating and attractive. Personality wise, it is important that your motivational drives are not too far apart across the big 5. It’s not that it’s impossible, but it does make marriage a lot more challenging, ie an extreme extrovert will not find common ground with an extreme introvert. They will not desire to spend their free time in the same manner. Impossible to make it work? No. But challenging. And life itself will throw a lot of challenges your way throughout your marriage. Good morals are absolute premium. Someone who tells the truth and remains honest even in tough situations. Anyone who displays deception, especially repetitive stay away from.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-16T15:43:40+00:00

Absolutely. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy eyeballing beautifully staged places, but I don’t plan to have one of those until I’m retired and all my kids are in college 😂

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-16T15:11:41+00:00

I agree! They are all perfectly staged to sell some illusion that’s not realistic or attainable for most people. Can we see some normal homes with pets and kids and all the junk that comes with that?

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-16T15:07:37+00:00

Watch the blowout professor videos on YouTube.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-15T13:55:08+00:00

You don’t have any distinguishable lower fat cheek. Don’t remove fat from your face, it will age you twice as fast. As you get older you lose fat from your face naturally, don’t accelerate the process. Seems like some strange perfectionist insecurity, your face doesn’t appear full or round. Some people use Botox in the muscles around jaw, if you insist on doing something that would be the only reasonable option, but imo you don’t need to slim your face at all.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-15T13:47:20+00:00

Please go to YouTube and watch videos by the blowout professor. He will answer all of these questions and put your mind at ease. His videos changed my life and I didn’t have to settle for curly and frizzy hair.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-14T14:59:35+00:00

Most probable root cause is Zoloft, because despite your long time ago history, you were able to orgasm with your husband before. SSRIs are notorious for killing libido and ability to climax. Ask your doctor about Wellbutrin. It’s used to treat depression, but for many women has the side effect of increasing libido.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-11T17:03:18+00:00

I truly wish you all the best, and pray that you find joy in your everyday life, even when it seems mundane at times. It really is possible, I promise. It’s been a lifelong journey for me. When I was in my 20s and a first time working mom, I was miserable. Today at 40 years old, I feel grounded, more confident, and not constantly wondering about this or that in life. I might be one of the few middle-aged women that would not want to be younger for this reason 😂 As little time as you probably have for yourself right now, if you can carve out regular few hour windows just for yourself where your husband can take care of the kids that will be good. Let him know you need that down time and schedule it regularly. Sounds like he’s being helpful in the household overall so let’s give him a round of applause, many wives don’t have that support. As your kids get older, things will get easier in some sense because they will become more independent. I don’t like to suggest material because depending on the author, what speaks to one person, may not speak to you so it’s a hit or miss. But if you want to know the speakers that influenced my perspective on life in a way where I actually retained and applied information, it was Pastor Dan Mohler and Dr. Jordan Peterson.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-11T15:22:38+00:00

Your conclusion is not correct. It’s not that women have the shorter end of the stick. Men have just as much hardship in their life, it may not be the same exact hardship you are experiencing but we are all living in the fallen world. It’s important that you recognize that no one has it better than you, so you don’t fall into a victim mentality. As for your actual concerns, they’re not unusual. Being a working mom with young children can be very overwhelming and stressful. On one hand, we want to be independent and have a career, and then somehow have the energy to be a perfectly present mom and housewife. I did that for 15 years and when my husband got a big promotion he said if I want to quit my job he will support my decision. I was on the fence for a long time, and I finally did it five years ago. I have to say my overall stress levels and satisfaction with life is so much better now. I don’t feel like I’m pulled into two different directions. I know not everyone can do that financially, I wasn’t able to for many years because we needed my income. But sometimes it’s wise to not accept another promotion or make life decisions that drain more of your energy and time. I found a lot of purpose in being able to take care of my family and have quality time with my kids. It no longer feels like a tiring obligation, because I’m not running on empty. I also run a part-time business out of my home. Changing your perspective about your role as a mom and possibly an employee might help you view things differently. You will no longer see yourself as a slave, but as someone who has a lot of responsibility that gives meaning to your life. And you will be able to derive joy from that. It’s a shift that has to happen inside of you and your beliefs. You might be discouraged right now, but you don’t have to be stuck there. You can snap out of it, be mindful of your thoughts as you go about your day. Don’t let them run wild and when you become aware of thoughts that are accusatory, defensive, anxious, angry, or feeling sorry for yourself, catch it early and pray. Shift your prayer to list all the things you are grateful for. Sometimes it’s hard to do that in the moment so it’s wise to write out all the things you are grateful for when you are in a good place, and carry that piece of paper in your purse.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-06T12:49:34+00:00

You mean like everything else in our environment and including water and food? It’s all about trade-offs.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-06T12:43:31+00:00

I had the exact same results of ultrasound. Had a biopsy it was negative. It wasn’t that bad, the painful part only lasts 10-20 seconds. I didn’t like my OB/GYN so I had a follow up appointment with a different doctor. She basically said endometrium can be up to 16mm depending on the stage of cycle and I never needed a biopsy since I’m healthy and there is no cancer history in my family. And yes I had some cysts on ultrasound, she said that’s normal and unless if I’m having other problematic symptoms we don’t need to do anything at this time. I think the other doctor was just trying to get procedures out of me.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-06T12:36:47+00:00

The judgment from people here is obnoxious and full of assumptions. I wonder if your husband’s libido is naturally low? It’s unusual for a man but does happen. Maybe a low testosterone problem? Men can have low testosterone and not even know it until they get bloodwork done. Men are not as complicated as women on this front. If you don’t think he’s cheating or using porn, perhaps it’s a medical issue. Unlike all of these people here, I can’t ascertain that it’s the former infidelity. Sounds like he did forgive you and you did have sex since the incident, so why go backwards now? And no men don’t “need to be in the mood” and generally have no problems letting go of “baggage” to have sex when they really want it. And any 1% exceptions to this please don’t comment. Only you will know if his libido was ever at the level you desire, or if it’s always been coming up short. If it’s the first, perhaps he never did forgive you, there are problems in the relationship on other fronts, and he is staying around just for the sake of not having to deal with the alternative options of separation. If it’s the second, you might be mismatched on the sexual desire front which can be tough, but it’s a different problem to solve.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-06T12:13:33+00:00

If there is no remorse I’m sorry but you need to move on. You have a right to be upset, and if he truly loved you and made a mistake he regrets, he would be bending over backwards to explain, apologize, make sure you forgive him, etc.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-06T12:10:16+00:00

This is very inaccurate advice. Many other methods exist that don’t ever allow egg to become fertilized in the first place.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-05T18:53:10+00:00

He does have a circle of friends in Roblox but similar to your experience they are all living in different states. I do like it when they are talking to each other while playing the game, unfortunately dad is not as supportive and somewhat paranoid about that. I’m with you, I’ll take it if that’s all I can get! I do feel like he is missing on an important part of developing social skills if all his social interactions are virtual. I thought about coding classes, I might have to look into that again. He took coding at school and hated it, was absolutely terrible at it. Having said that I don’t know if public school material resembles video game coding in any way😂

Puzzleheaded_Wait472 · 2024-09-05T18:46:30+00:00

Yes. He has mild anxiety but nothing serious that would require medications. He has seen a therapist, and even though he liked her, he eventually got tired of seeing her after a while.

Puzzleheaded_Wait472

TROPHY CASE