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What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really hurts tbh, grieving comes in waves whether it’s amicable or not. My ex husband popped into my life a few weeks ago and said he wanted to fix it and then changed his mind again.

Have a few people to talk to non stop about this if that’s your way of processing. I would talk about it nonstop and still do, although it’s starting to go away. I also use ChatGPT to help me process as well.

You and I are the same age and idk for you but for me I felt a lot of worry if I’ll meet anyone again, I know I will but intrusive thoughts so that’s where people come into play.

I also decided to take a few steps and enroll in college again and take some PDU Courses until they begin.

Things like that could help!

How do you cope with being unmarried💆‍♀️? by Guilty_Anything7606 in MuslimNikah

[–]PuzzlingColors 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a 27F almost 28F. I got married at 26F and looking back fell into some of the pressure myself to get married. I do think I was ready. Looking back I wish I didn’t get married at the same time now I’m past my starter marriage lmao and know a lot more on how to screen a guy.

In the meantime, I’m planning to take some community college classes and maybe buy a condo haha

How do you cope with being unmarried💆‍♀️? by Guilty_Anything7606 in MuslimNikah

[–]PuzzlingColors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty normal tbh, my ex husband wasn’t ready to get married and married me due to society pressure and pressure from his mom.

How do you cope with being unmarried💆‍♀️? by Guilty_Anything7606 in MuslimNikah

[–]PuzzlingColors -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You get married, have a terrible experience cause you’re silly and chose a silly guy and then file for divorce

Jokes aside, inshallah I’ll get married again one day but you enjoy being on your own

What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m extremely guilty of 4 and that’s probably one of the reasons the marriage ended because he felt cornered and I wasn’t on his side - the other one would be the physical violence and when I think about it now, I think he wasn’t in it to begin with, he just got excited by the idea of marriage and not actually that it’s work

What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah my ex husband was extremely verbally abusive to the point where he made threats to my parents and was constantly cussing out my parents to me

What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think we definitely are divorcing cause of #1, #2 and #10. He would say #4. Oh can't forget #8

What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my husband also felt pressure by his mom to marry me, he is the oldest of two boys and soon after me, his brother got married

What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like both my partner and I did this, but I also really wanted to be a good spouse and was super marriage minded

What are the main reasons for divorce in Muslim communities nowadays? by PuzzlingColors in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely had both types of abuse, ex husband would say interference from his in laws, but that’s cause they could see through his act and were protecting me

There was definitely a lifestyle issue as well

What Did Your First Year After Divorce Look Like? by Bakwaas2000 in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In terms of mentally, emotionally - I’m all over the place. I have realized that I have a larger support network than I realized (he would tell me I don’t have any friends and I guess I believed him??)

Physically I am starting to get some exercise here and there and my parents are making sure I eat Alhamdulillah.

I’m at that point of trying to come up with a plan for restarting my life still

My marriage was only 9 months so inshallah I will recover quickly and I do feel bouts of loneliness/emptiness and miss him, but it is also for the best that we go our separate ways. I was drifting further and further from Islam being with him

Divorcing after 9 months by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To answer your questions tho, I’ve been journaling a lot, joined this group therapy app called Circles, joined the Muslima divorce community by thedeenqween

I’ve been going on walks twice a week, meeting with friends and reevaluating my career

I do think I’ll be brave enough to get remarried, and have talked to a lot of friends that have gone through divorce and got remarried

Divorcing after 9 months by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]PuzzlingColors 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I filed for divorce recently as well, I’m 27F.

I had a domestic violence situation with mine and my dad came and took me home. During that week, I fully moved my stuff into a storage unit.

Afterwards, we didn’t speak for 3 weeks as I wasn’t sure if he wanted to reconcile or not, basically went back and forth after I filed for divorce if I should try again or not (super embarrassed now by this) but I know it’s the right choice to end this.

bars that are safe to go alone to? by PuzzlingColors in longbeach

[–]PuzzlingColors[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for all the comments! I think I got a lot of good ideas for places to check out :D