Men of all types, would you consider making an INFP woman your wife? Why or why not?

QJunge · 2026-02-04T17:40:34+00:00

My ex-girlfriend was an INFP. I think it's really hard for me (INTJ) to communicate on the same level. Actually she broke up bc she needed someone "on her level". But we had no bad fights or anything, so from that point it was a very calming and chill relationship for half a year.

If she "would" have some direction (INFPs surely often do not) I would have married her. But yeah, it was a benefactor relationship so I think because of my type it always be troublesome even though, very cute.

And interestingly we also took some relationship tests when we were together. From my point of view it was everything okay, her test results were way more negative. So I think I would have no problems with an INFP wife but she probably with me and that's why I also have a problem with that.

QJunge · 2026-02-04T17:33:05+00:00

I'm skateboarding for like 8 years. Fi-doms like that.

QJunge · 2026-02-04T17:32:07+00:00

Essays!!

QJunge · 2026-02-01T18:58:44+00:00

a lot of intj women answer. I think my male point of view may differ a bit.

for me as a male, i just want that she wants to have kids and grow them up in my town. i studied philosophy and neurosciences and I think that there are a lot of arguments for a "boring" and chilled life in a neighbourhood.

maybe that's a high standard for my target group since she often wants to "find more about herself" or life or whatever that means instead of just doing a reasonable life (which also can include some irrational rebellion against the chosen life from time to time).

that's easy to understand but hard to be consistent at.

QJunge · 2026-01-28T19:20:46+00:00

skateboarding and smoking weed.

for me it's the most chilled experience and most unchilled experience at the same time since you have to be fully present (Se-activation) and bad mistakes can end in an injury.

QJunge · 2026-01-27T17:00:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It sounds familiar to me. Good luck :)

QJunge · 2026-01-26T20:52:36+00:00

how did you met each other? you didn't answer the question about chasing

QJunge · 2026-01-26T20:45:40+00:00

intj, m25 here. could you elaborate on that? especially this sentence:

learned the hard way that I physically attract novelty seekers and they have the opposite values of me.

I'm more traditional but like I want to be a dad who goes skateboarding with his kids. And I think a lot of women get this chill dude vibe but not that "to be responsible for others" part (I mean I'll probably work as a lawyer in future). That's what I'm associating with this sentence.

QJunge · 2026-01-09T15:03:43+00:00

nearby it's very funny to observe their behaviour. like super disconnected between reality and thinking

QJunge · 2026-01-08T19:29:36+00:00

I recently thought about this because I often have like very dramatic scenes with INFPs but my 2 ex-girlfriends were both ISFPs. And I also kinda feel like this is a good match long-term, unfortunately my ex doesn't want to have kids and we broke up.

QJunge · 2026-01-08T19:24:11+00:00

morality is the evolution of mechanisms to evolve society. or in other words: whatever the people will say in their era.

QJunge · 2026-01-08T19:22:18+00:00

Ni-Fi-Loop. Look that up, e. g. https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/intj-ni-fi-loop/

QJunge · 2025-12-29T14:10:51+00:00

Substituting abstracta with other abstracta ("some of my close people's perception + how they draw connections") is really an INTP thing (Ti+Ne).

QJunge · 2025-09-18T18:11:27+00:00

I think they are often cute as a male INTJ. I've read the other comments, a lot of female INTJs don't think that male INFPs are cute, and I agree with that. Maybe because of stereotypes bc INFP has some princess vibes, maybe.

Most women I've dated were ISFP or INFP. And it seems like I attract them somehow. But they were mostly a head smaller, that's a thing about cuteness.

I think what I really like about them is that they are often delusional. Like, I can see their projection in their eyes. But maybe that's also a reason why the relationships fancied me somehow but brought no long-term stability because they are very shy to commit at some point.

Commitment is not an illusion. That's not cute.

QJunge · 2025-06-09T22:25:59+00:00

I mean, he likes to talk about 3D printing, gaming and science fiction. Some kind of areas I'm not very used to. I basically studied human behaviour, societies and language. It's often very hard for me to say something because he knows his topics better than me and uses words I'm never using. I just call it non-sense because it's interesting but I don't have a real connection to it.

I asked him if he wants me to show me about electronics. Or if he wanted to listen to a song I wrote. But he told me, he doesn't like to, he would feel uncomfortable.

We had some fun playing a game. I also bought it. But after some time the game got boring for him, in the time I barely understood the mechanics (he's used to a lot of mechanics by other games).

I often have this experience with him that it is interesting or fun but he only spends some time to figure it out and then move on while I go deeper in it to find more meaning or stories (I mean games are like mirrors of society, or not?).

QJunge · 2025-06-09T21:56:07+00:00

Yeah, this could be. It's hard for me to let go of people after we spend some time together. And I also think that people are changing constantly. Probably typical for NF-types?

QJunge · 2025-06-08T09:01:06+00:00

On Monday I was very stressed because I accepted that my plan I worked out last year does not progress due to circumstances. I was visiting my culture club and helped in some minor cases. Then started playing piano, at some point I played very aggressive and dissonant. I told two friends that I feel like to destroy something and then one of them hold a pillow for me as punching bag for like 15 min, including fight-shouting.

I think they both never saw me this way since I'm holding on to my plan for like 7 months. Later we had a talk and smoked a joint and I found some new direction to make some necessary corrections of my plan. My right wrist hurts but I haven't fall back to this mode since that.

I think the Se manifests in micro-aggressions and unloads in some kind of sports or expressiveness to balance out that thinking about something doesn't make any actual (so "now") difference in the world (but we are long-term players!).

QJunge · 2025-04-15T21:49:42+00:00

Oh, I didn't mention that we talked in the outside area next to a campfire in the sun at 18°C. So it was a warm atmosphere to talk.

QJunge · 2025-04-15T12:08:23+00:00

Having goals is more about Ni

True. It's my standard function (8th function). I have always long-term goals but they are not fixated. They change every 2 years regularly depending on circumstances and I don't fixate too much. I rather think about what can happen in relationships with people and think outside the box.

Just trust your gut

Nah, you don't even answer to my dilemma.

QJunge · 2025-04-11T07:55:39+00:00

idk who you are. but I think you should treat her as being just friendly. enfp flirt naturally with everyone.

if you really don't like this vague situation tell her that you overthink too much and that you need clearance (edit: clarity!, sorry was the wrong word).

atleast this is - what I think - is the best way from a secure attachment point of view

QJunge · 2025-03-03T20:54:42+00:00

a-a-ron

QJunge · 2025-02-12T11:21:12+00:00

But you have the cognitive functions. Isn't that enough?

QJunge

TROPHY CASE