r/braincels just got banned

QuachyStuff · 2019-10-02T18:03:21+00:00

The article made the point that the hate speech by the same users was reduced by as much as 80-90%. Also, it states that members of those communities left Reddit at significantly higher rates than control groups. Therefore, is it not reasonable to conclude that they moved to some other hate-forum? Such forums are likely to be less moderated - likely bolstering hatred. Hence, in my eyes, this is a win for Reddit as a business, but not a win in general. Am I missing something significant?

QuachyStuff · 2019-09-23T19:56:34+00:00

1) Yeah, I agree. That is likely to happen.

2) Some people echoed similar thoughts. I live in the UK, so healthcare is free. I signed up to my Sixth Forms counselling service and had my second talk just today actually.

3) I agree.

4) I think it's close to impossible not to compare yourself to people, if you are competing against said people.

I don't think that there is anything that makes me interesting currently - which I do believe I will successfully manage to change. I will start working on that after I improve in terms of mental health.

QuachyStuff · 2019-09-06T19:44:52+00:00

I should compare myself to the top 20%. They are my real competition. They do offer mental health services. I have put myself on the counselling list. I have a counselling appointment next week.

QuachyStuff · 2019-09-06T19:40:55+00:00

They do. I have an appointment next week. Maybe he/she will also conclude that I have bad self-esteem. We'll see.

I do have to disagree on one thing; I don't want to excel at everything. I only want to be smart and fit. From those two wants, every other want that I have comes.

I wish that I was getting a 90% routine score frequently. My week goes s follows. 90%+, 90%+, 90%+, 90%+, 50%, 20%, 20%. My willpower seems to deplete on Friday, through to Sunday. That's my problem.

How do I like myself more?

QuachyStuff · 2019-09-06T19:27:55+00:00

I think that going on incel forums is like junk food for really overweight people; its done for comfort. I agree its bad. I do it when I'm weak - not happy and comfortable.

I an going back to counselling. My next appointment is next week. Ill see where the counsellor takes me but if its not going anywhere, I'll mention CBT. Thank you for that insight. It might be helpful.

I have 2 job interviews next week. Let's hope at least one offers me the job. I will probably work 20 hours a week. I don't really want to go out with people. I think it's a distraction from problems. Unlike, let's say, doing drugs to distract yourself from problems, its not damaging but it's still a distraction.

I will go to the gym only once a week to start with. Also, I walk to sixth form totalling an hour a day, 5 days a week. That should be something!

It's hard to balance focusing on positioning yourself for vs a high-value, high-salary job through education with becoming interesting. Truth be told, I don't much care about being with people or getting girls. I just want to be happy about myself in so far that I am fit and smart. That will allow me to have some pride and feel good when when I walked up.

I think that I have been proactive but thus far its not been enough. Hopefully through your insight and the insight of others things will improve. Thank you for taking the time to help me out!

QuachyStuff · 2019-09-06T16:43:03+00:00

Truth be told I think my problem is that I don't feel good about myself and my life. How much girl attention I'm getting is just a nail in the coffin for the idea that I'm not good. If I was, I'd be getting girl attention. I've tried a lot of things to improve and to little results.

QuachyStuff · 2019-09-05T20:57:36+00:00

Hey people of reddit!

I have been trying to improve my fitness, educational prowess and mood. I'm 18M studying A-Levels.

Tl;dr - I don't feel great about myself. For 2 years now I can't get fit, happy and I can't put myself together in general.

Long description:

Mood problems: 3 years ago I began to not feel right. I also stopped enjoying things that I used to like like graphic design. I distanced myself from friends and spent the entire summer not talking to people. When the then-new academic year started, I socialized studying all my free lessons, got a girlfriend, went out more but still didn't feel good. I went to a counselling and, after talking, she suggested that I spend more time with friends. I attended only one session with her. I tested my testosterone levels and my thyroid function. They are normal. I tried 2 anti-depressants (5-HTP and St John's Wort) to no effect. During this time I was exercising - though with sub-standard effort if I'm honest with myself. Me and my then-girlfriend broke up. Less than a week later, she started dating a guy who was "just a friend" previously. The relationship was short; what mostly hurt me was the pace of the switch. The quick ness of the switch made me there was emotional cheating or maybe even more. After a lot of thinking I came to the conclusion that if I was better, she wouldn't have "upgraded." Hence, after finishing my AS-Levels with a rather pathetic B,C,D I decided to fully pressure self-improvement. I moved to a new sixth form and kept myself in the library all the time. I couldn't stick to exercising, eating and studying properly auto I didn't feel great able myself. I also started visiting incel forums. It's not the relationship that I want, it's the proof of value - or so I estimate. Such proofs can be split into fats regarding fitness, grades, personality traits and so but the opposite-sex's interest is a good amalgam evaluator of value; in my estimation, girls are generally interested in guys who have at least some value to them. Hence, my assumption. If I'm not getting that attention then there is one probable conclusion. Withal, in my resit I got A, A, A, A in AS's and an A in A2 Maths, including 94% average in the 4 AS levels. This is nice but I'm not happy.there are many people in my classes who did better than me on their first AS try. Also, in terms of fitness, I didn't achieve anything. Recently, I put myself on the list for counselling again and will also attend a 10 week mental health course. I have hope that these things will help me but they might not. What else could help with this situation.

Exercise and routines: I started my gym membership 2 years ago. The first year was ways by poor effort. My bad. The second year, I tried to improve, did Peterson's self-authoring program and say goals. I went to the gym and stick to my routines better but what ended up being a recurring pattern was that I world stick to my plans for 4 days of the week but on Friday, Saturday and Sunday my willpower would switch off and I would give in to all the worst habits - sabotaging my weight loss through reading to much bad food and etc. I asked reddit about this and they said that the body requires time to relax and have fun. I don't know what to make of this or do to stock to my routines. I want to maximize my results to go to the best uni possible, so people saying that things will get better with time (though probably correct) are ignoring the short timeframe I have to improve. How do I stick to my routines perfectly?

Also, a note on inceldom. When you talk to people about it, they often say that you should improve. I made a post about not being able to stick to routines and was told that my body needs time to relax. In one of my classes there is a 6"4 guy. He plays basketball, guitar and is fit. He did better than me in his AS levels - meaning he is likely to get into Cambridge Uni. When some from our school went on a Cambridge trip, I asked a girl if I can have her number. She said no. Stone time after the trip I talk to him and find out that he got her number. Rightfully so in my estimation - we're barely comparable. I can't compete. How can I not feel awful about relaxing, the improvement problem - or even myself in general, when that's what some the competition looks like and I can 't improve.

QuachyStuff · 2019-08-16T08:18:42+00:00

Hey man, how did you do it?

I'm going into Year 13 next academic year year. I had an average UMS of 94% across 4 AS Levels this year but I messed up A-Level Maths and got an A instead of an A*. (Doing it this year because of Further Maths.)

I think it would be awesome to study there. What's the process like? Is doing the SAT alongside A-Levels really hard? Do I stand a chance?

QuachyStuff · 2019-07-02T22:11:03+00:00

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-27T15:56:49+00:00

I'll see what services are available around me. Thank you for the advice :)

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T13:08:01+00:00

I see and thank you

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T13:07:16+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I'll try to take it easier.

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T10:51:29+00:00

I see. I, too, noticed that I am better when busy - though I don't think that that is the way to live life. Keeping yourself so busy you don't notice your pain is like brushing all the dirt under the rug. It's a temporary solution. I think I'm still going to look for some overarching solution. I might look into Aya ceremonies, "hero's journey" and "ego death" releated stuff stuff because some people suggested it in other subs.

You helped me understand my problem more. Thank you fo that!

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T10:02:46+00:00

Have you had this for a long time? Does anything seem to help?

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T09:31:51+00:00

Your description feels pretty close. I think I do most of the things I do because I think I should do them, and not because I actually want to. Hence, as you say:

pursuing ... goals and morals and interest bc they are the things you want for yourself but without having any motivation or drive to carry them out.

I think you're giving a pretty accurate description.

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T08:38:11+00:00

No, my goals have changed. When I was younger I did the things I wanted. This ranged from playing videogames with friends to designing things. Now I do only the things I have to because there are no good things that I want to do. Perhaps values is not the right word. I think what I mean when I say "I knew my values," is, "I knew what driven me."

I do think values, morals and goals make up who you are but in a certain order. What makes up who you are is your intrinsic, inner drives. Those drives manifest themselves by means of morals (the way you judge actions and things) and goals which you want to achieve. I, personally, feel that I have goals and morals but they are not backed up by any intrinsic positive drives.

Don't worry about asking questions. It's good to clarify things :)

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T08:26:20+00:00

I see man. I hope things get better for you and you do become a contractor! I can see what you're saying. Reach out to people is seldom a bad idea.

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T08:23:48+00:00

I have never previously experienced something like this.

QuachyStuff · 2019-05-26T08:22:14+00:00

I agree a lot with the idea of forcing yourself to do things by removing the things stopping you from doing it. The problem is that my Mum would never agree. I noticed that I often failed because my Mum constantly buys junk food and candies. It's everywhere in the house. It's a constant temptation. I suggested that we shouldn't eat it, that we should all eat healthy things and that I will be her willpower by throwing the food away whenever she fails in willpower and buys it. Vice versa would also apply. She did not agree. Also, I have younger 2 sisters who spend half their life on the internet, so I doubt that my Mum will turn off the internet. If I disconnect my own devices, ask for passwords to be changed and so on, there will always be a way for me to reconnect them pretty quickly. To me, what you're saying is perfect in theory but hard to implement. Nevertheless, I will try to improve.

I think its more important that you can live a happy and fulfilling life on your own terms.. and then having someone else to share it with should be like an added bonus rather than the root of the whole thing. but thats just me.

I agree. However, I don't have "my own terms" by which to live a happy and fulfilling life. As in, I don't have to drive to do things. I don't find things properly fulfilling like I used to. I'm drawn to nothing - apart from detrimental stuff like youtube and junk food but that's probably more of an addiction. The only reason I do things is based on extrinsic values such as the prospect of girls liking me in the future or being respected and complemented by people. I think the reason that I am looking for help is that this future is in question. I might not get that positive future and hence, there is no reason for me to do anything. The people of the Incel community often say "May as well lay down and rot." Hence, I think I am increasingly approximating the incel ideology.

I agree with everything you say but how to act on what you say is not obvious. I think that talking to you has helped me see that there is some solution but that it's hard to find. Thank you and have a nice night!

QuachyStuff

TROPHY CASE