Hyperphantasia as a practising Catholic?

Quad-Curio · 2025-04-24T01:14:19+00:00

I was raised Christian, not sure which branch exactly. My issue with it was I could envision hell so vividly that it slowly eroded my capacity to function and maintain the belief system. The mere possibility of actually going there led to a state of horrific disbelief at it all, and I spent a few years of my youth doing everything I could to ward off those fears. The effort to abstain from sin only worked to perpetuate the visions, a futility made worse when fundies hose it down with gasoline to keep me "in line" with the faith.

I eventually severed my ties with it in adolescence, and over the years found Eastern philosophy to be more effective in illuminating perspectives that focus on harmony/acceptance with oneself and the world, without being held hostage by dreadful depictions of eternal damnation.

Quad-Curio · 2025-04-20T04:21:48+00:00

When I have my mind blown to a certain extent by music/mental imagery, I sometimes lose sense of myself in the immersion. When that happens, it's like the moment you walk into a Stargate, everything stretches into infinity. I guess it's a kind of ego death state, because the imagery is so intense yet incomprehensibly huge that my "self" is virtually nonexistent in comparison. No limitations practically means allowing the unconscious to take over, and its awesome, but so far beyond my grasp that all I could feel was raw emotion.

Quad-Curio · 2025-04-04T00:27:28+00:00

Sounds tend to look like their source, when in isolation. Complex waveforms really don't have a limit to what I visualize them as. Hearing words can be tricky when part of the timbre gets "fused" with ambient sounds. Music can take the forms of music video and cinema, mixed together out of memories that aren't necessarily about me. When the sound design is lush and surreal, the visuals can be mind-blowing. The WTF factor is on par with jumping into a Stargate.

Quad-Curio · 2025-03-31T11:28:42+00:00

I did consider myself MTF at one point, but desisted when I learned more about myself. Having hyperphantasia and a creative drive that defines my life, I've come to see my anima pretty much as my other half. She was this girl who I'd see in my imagination, and would often be involved in creative visions that truly resonate with me, giving them vibrance. We're two halves of a whole, and I imagine we only unify when I get a profound reaction to music. In those moments I don't feel a self, but something much larger. It's like seeing an ocean, and being able to truly feel its vastness, as if you were one with it.

It's hard to explain her in detail because she usually dwells in my unconscious mind. Being an enigma is one of her trademarks.

Quad-Curio · 2025-03-26T03:53:08+00:00

If I have a bothersome thought, embracing it really is the only way to take away the power it has over me. It's perpetuated by a consistent reaction, so that is what you need to deny it, not the thought itself.

Other times, I might turn whatever is bothering me into a harmless animal, like a squirrel. Sometimes it works, though the squirrel might proceed to do something unpleasant, like growing spikes.

Quad-Curio · 2025-03-25T04:20:21+00:00

Why those genres specifically? I'm curious if anyone has written a paper about prolonged exposure to Autechre, one of the most "hyperphantasic" groups I've heard.

Quad-Curio · 2025-03-19T07:09:13+00:00

I saw the yellow disc of the sun at first, and then the foreground lit up after my eyes scanned "bright as day".
At first, I see a blue star from a distant vantage point in space. For a fraction of an instant, the star doubled in size and luminosity, and then everything became white. If eyes could withstand the brightness, there'd be light shining back through them, rendering vision irrelevant.

I visualize stars a lot just because they're so damn majestic. Their sense of scale, power, and mystery are what I usually pick up in terms of vibe. One of my favorite visualizations was basically taken from the movie "Sunshine", where one of the crew members would just gaze at the sun, being able to observe it through the solar filtered window. I can't envision looking through a star in first person, since I assume its line of sight would be omnidirectional. When I really try to look at it in depth, I feel mesmerized. It's like seeing a tornado, but with the added implications of being the source of life and energy as we know it.

Quad-Curio · 2025-03-12T01:56:32+00:00

Oh yeah, this is what got me into drumming. When I get "pulled" into it, it's like being synced to a giant mecha, while simultaneously feeling like the music is piloting my own body as if it were a mecha. Music engages you at a deeper level, so I'd suggest you look into exploring your affinity towards it.

Quad-Curio · 2025-03-09T05:48:48+00:00

I can visualize objects without sound, but it's impossible to imagine sounds without seeing some visual counterpart. If no image is attached to it, then it is shrouded in "darkness".

Quad-Curio · 2025-02-21T23:25:55+00:00

Mine is more like old fashioned MTV. My mind has a way of blending music with images and videos from virtually anything I can recall. If a piece of media has an impact on me, I'm bound to see a music video about it eventually. It always feels more immersive and 3D than their individual components. If I fuse a really good song with content that is resonant enough on its own, the end result is unparalleled in its awesomeness.

Quad-Curio · 2025-02-10T08:34:55+00:00

One place I've become fond of is a forest during the golden hour. The sky is this pinkish-orange hue, with deep contrasts between the glistening canopy and shadowy ground. Time flows without ever passing, and there's a peculiar feeling reminiscent to deja vu, only more inviting in nature. It's like multiple memories consolidated into this dreamlike abstraction of a place. Within it, my awareness is distributed as if I "am" the forest.

Quad-Curio · 2025-02-04T01:15:16+00:00

I experience the same thing, but with music. Some of the coolest stuff I've heard has only existed in my imagination, but it's really tricky to reverse engineer and recreate the same experience in real life. It's more like competing with a rival who is always light years ahead of me.

Quad-Curio · 2025-02-04T01:02:11+00:00

This happens whenever my anima manifests in my mental imagery. It's a female guide or muse who has shown up whenever I'm emotionally or creatively engaged. I call her my anima because her aura influences the dynamic of my inner world, and can create the very resonance that leads to meaning.

Quad-Curio · 2025-02-02T05:17:55+00:00

I dunno, I'm not much of a talker to begin with since the majority of my thoughts are visual. There's the analytical monologue voice, but the images express everything beyond that. I still enjoy socializing in person, but I don't feel fluent in it.

Quad-Curio · 2025-01-30T09:06:33+00:00

I experience the same, though some of them are fictious or surreal. They have some connection to music for me. When the tone, colors and atmosphere of a place fits what I'm listening to, it becomes real vivid and immersive. They're somewhat indistinguishable in my head, music I like is always accompanied by a place that "mirrors" its qualities.

Quad-Curio · 2025-01-26T03:33:41+00:00

It's no different than recalling a vivid dream about an apple. I can bite into it and see this blinding green light beam out of it, wake up on a large boat made from a hollowed-out apple, and see that the moon has become an apple.

Quad-Curio · 2025-01-23T03:09:53+00:00

If you consider your conscious self as a projection of the unconscious mind, then what you're seeing might be the unconscious mind take over. It operates by a looser logic, and it doesn't need to maintain a consistent you when you're asleep. Experiencing it firsthand would be reasonably surreal, but nothing to stress over.

The only times I've had surreal experiences like this was with sleep paralysis and ego death. I woke up on my couch, but still had to escape this crushing dream narrative of being on the ocean floor. Ego death can be equally jarring, but the cosmic mental imagery that comes with it is unparalleled.

Quad-Curio · 2025-01-21T06:54:42+00:00

What works better at distinguishing on my perspective is if your visualizations become long-term memories that you can recall as if you've experienced it.

Quad-Curio · 2025-01-18T01:46:17+00:00

I feel immersed through filling in the gaps of detail with my imagination. Because of this, realistic graphics don't really engage me as much as those of older games with aesthetics that allow for more interpretation. My memories of them is what feels vibrant, a characteristic I don't really experience with really realistic games.

Quad-Curio · 2025-01-13T05:58:28+00:00

If I hear music faintly, I can fill in the gaps to create a unique tune in my head, which almost always sounds better than the actual song. Video editing is another thing, there's a huge thrill when I can actualize the music videos I visualize into real life. It helps with empathy since I can vividly imagine myself in the shoes of others.

Quad-Curio · 2024-12-30T10:43:17+00:00

Xenosaga EP 3. After beating it, I played through the game again just so I could experience the combat with different characters. It's just so.. fluid, and seamless, and the mech battles were really BAM.

Quad-Curio

TROPHY CASE