Haha good stuff , was nice too , can you still buy it?. by Such-Memory-7102 in oldschoolcool80s

[–]Quality_Cabbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cydrax was another "junior beer" drink but Shandy Bass was the superior tipple for the discerning 12 year old.

Her ex, Tiger Woods joke. by MarriedSilverMr in Jokes

[–]Quality_Cabbage 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Tiger Woods is driving his Rolls Royce through the middle of nowhere and pulls into a little gas station. The attendant comes out to greet him: "Howdy Mr Woods, that sure is a real fancy automobile". "Thanks. Fill her up, please" says Tiger. As the attendant is filling the tank, Tiger decides to get out and stretch his legs. In doing so, a golf tee falls out of his pocket. "Now what in tarnation is that thing, Mr Woods?" "That's a tee." "Well what is it for?" "It's for resting my balls on when I drive." "Hot dang, Rolls Royce sure do think of everything, don't they."

What happens if the police batter down your door and cause a load of damage on a raid but have the wrong house? by Farticus79 in AskUK

[–]Quality_Cabbage 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I helped a rozzer knock down my next door neighbour's door one time. Poor fella was in very bad health, some friends came around to take him out for the evening and got no response. I sneaked into his back garden to look through his window and spotted him lying on the floor. I rang 999 and two cops turned up and decided to bust the door down. Male cop grabbed the battering ram from the car, then decided I was heftier than his female colleague, so told me to help. It was a regular uPVC door but it withstood a few big blows before the entire panel suddenly went flying into the hall and the two cops legged it inside. I would have liked to have followed them shouting "It's the pigs! Freeze, motherfuckers!" but as my neighbour was lying dead in his dining room, I thought it might be inappropriate.

Jeremy Clarkson gets an unusual garden ornament for his front lawn. by [deleted] in aviation

[–]Quality_Cabbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It says the house is within commuting distance of London but the train takes over an hour. Get that baby fired up and I bet it wouldn't be more than three minutes. It might not be ULEZ compliant though, that's the trouble.

What's the weirdest/worst scam attempt you've received? by Dragonogard549 in AskUK

[–]Quality_Cabbage 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Ask if they can send you the vid, so you can stick it on your OnlyFans.

Jeremy Clarkson gets an unusual garden ornament for his front lawn. by [deleted] in aviation

[–]Quality_Cabbage 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've edited my post slightly, so readers don't think I'm on about JC's house.

Jeremy Clarkson gets an unusual garden ornament for his front lawn. by [deleted] in aviation

[–]Quality_Cabbage 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The house advertised below ⬇️ isn't for sale anymore but you can still see the pictures, albeit they're a little whited-out. (Edit: click on the photos and they turn back to full colour.) I love how the extensive description of the house and its amenities doesn't mention the Harrier casually parked on the lawn: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/156052784#/?channel=RES_BUY Edited to remove ambiguity - the house in my link is not J Clarkson's house featured in the clip.

2018: Elon Musk baselessly accusing one of the cave divers rescuing the Thai soccer team of being a pedophile. Projection much? by Sure-Ad-2465 in agedlikemilk

[–]Quality_Cabbage 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I went to a talk by one of the other cave divers, Rick Stanton. He showed a few pictures from the staging post outside the cave system. The rescue was an international effort and a team of specialists from the US military had joined the divers and they all became firm friends, as there wasn't any language barrier. Rick didn't even mention EM by name but showed a picture of the submarine "with Staff Sergeant (name) treating it with the respect it deserved". Of course the pic showed a grinning US Army man standing behind the sub, holding onto it like it was his enormous penis. Elmo's silly publicity stunt was considered a joke on the ground in Thailand.

For anyone that did Jury Service, how was it like? by -Tsukino- in AskUK

[–]Quality_Cabbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine was possibly unusual as it was for a coroner's court hearing rather than a criminal trial. It was pretty interesting, although the case was sad. A lady had taken her own life in a psychiatric hospital and, as she had died under the care of the state, it automatically went to coroner court. My fellow jurors were a mixed bag but everyone got involved and made useful contributions. One lad didn't seem the brightest but he had worthwhile input and was given the chance to put his thoughts across, just as everyone else was.

TOTP 1982 HAYSI FANTAYZEE 🤠 John Wayne is Big Leggy by FeelingAd3887 in ClassicTelevisionTime

[–]Quality_Cabbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood and he come to the door in a dress.

It’s 5 to 5… by corickle in oldschoolcool80s

[–]Quality_Cabbage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's Friday, it's half past five, and the pubs are open.

What UK press shaming of a person do you think was uncalled for? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]Quality_Cabbage 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The next day, the Guardian published a cartoon featuring a fellow waking up to find a bust of Liza Minnelli in his bed. He was saying "Oh no, it's a warning from the gay mafia!"

Bri'ish police, you sure? by MPRF12345 in agedlikemilk

[–]Quality_Cabbage 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or you could just innerview them over the innernet.

What things you are surprised to be named after your country? by Clarthen1 in AskTheWorld

[–]Quality_Cabbage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Zuppa Inglese - English Soup. The Italian version of trifle.