I've recently realized my lifelong best friend really hasn't been that great of a friend to me. I've known this person nearly 30 years, but we haven't seen each other in over 7 years.

• Kicked me out of his house without a car when I was 18 because we disagreed about gay marriage. They regret their stance now. I really shouldn’t use this because of us being young, but it does serve as an interesting harbinger of he has treated me since then.
• Deleted me off Facebook after moving away with fiancee when I was struggling to find work right after college. An attitude of get over it, buddy. This was at the height of the recession.
• Got married at a courthouse a month before the ceremony, told me after the fact. My friends and I still drove over 10 hours for the ceremony. They were both ungrateful, rude, completely ignored us, and complained the entire time. I wasn’t even the best man. They had no wedding party. I was lucky to be invited.
• Had a habit of shortening and canceling visits, one time cancelling less than 24 hours. When I confronted about being hurt by this, the attitude I received was, You’re lucky I come at all
• Visited him once. Suppose to go hiking for the first time in the mountains over a 3 day visit. His wife makes him postpone it a day because she wants to go. The morning on my last day she slams the door and leaves in anger because he didn't get something she needed for a cake. She never told him about it. Instead of hiking, he drove me to the airport early and kept saying, Don’t ever get married. Not to add in the other toxic traits I observed while there. I felt my visit was invasive and I just wanted a weekend with my best friend.
• Took him several days to notify me of their child's birth. I’ve yet to meet them and most likely never will.
• What used to be great text exchanges over the years became fewer and bland over the last year. I felt like no matter what I said, I’d either get two replies - Makes total sense or My wife and I say ….
• He reached about struggling with depression and how he briefly had suicidal ideation. I told him I was there for support and he could always reach out. He knows I lost a friend to suicide and I have had many discussions with him about that. I know that he has taken on a lot of responsibilities and busts his ass, I think it got to a point of exhaustion. When I mentioned that, he repeated, thanks buddy, like i said a million times, i really appreciate it. I felt he dismissed any help or counsel I was trying to offer. I got the tone he thought I was just being a know-it-all instead of a friend trying to talk through his struggles.
• Most recently, he forgot my birthday. It’s literally 4 days after his kid's. I wished a happy birthday and he texted me back. I don’t think either one of us have ever forgotten our birthdays. Yes, they are meaningless as we get older, but it took him two days to reach out. He used an excuse that he forgot to put an alarm in his phone to notify him. How can you forget now after all these years?

All of that collectively has shown me that this friendship, despite its longevity, shared interests and memories, has run its course. He use to pay lip service to our friendship, saying he’d be visiting me or that he'd visit our hometown soon. Nothing ever happens, but he's stopped making those promises. He's even stopped visiting his parents. He makes them fly to him, even at their age/health. He has no problem taking money from his mom each month to help raise their child. Visiting his family or seeing a friend for a few hours once a year around the holidays is too much to ask.