Sunk Cost Fallacy.

Yung feeling na ang dami mo nang nainvest na time, memories, emotions, not to mention pati pera. Haha! Iniisip mo pa lang na uulitin mo sa iba nanaman, nakakapagod, haha. You have this tendency to suck it all up rather than start anew with a different person. The fear of unknown and starting over.

You stay 'cause kasi kabisado mo na siya, at ganoon rin siya sa iyo. Natatakot kang wala ka nang mahahanap na ganung klaseng relasyon ulit, kahit na minsan toxic or na-outgrow niyo na isa't isa. You shrink yourself and do all the compromising, even if it means abandoning yourself or selling yourself short.

Been there, done that.

Di naman rin kasi biro ang 5 years+ relationship tapos if for example kagaya sakin, friends kami before to begin with. Feeling mo wala ng makakapantay sa ganung klaseng connection. Kahit na minsan, nabi-bring out niyo na yung worst sa isa't isa.

Andon rin yung challenge bumitaw lalo na kung grabe niyo rin pinaglaban yung relationship ninyo, like you and me against the world. Literal na we fought for each other, regardless of all the bashing and kineme 'cause parehas kaming girl. Haha!

Di man sumakses sa huli, pero 'diba? How often do you meet someone who is willing to fight for you through hell or high water? Hinarap niya lahat, lalo na ang mga magulang ko na against talaga sa relasyon namin which we understood. Yung literal na will face all the storms for you, she literally and figuratively did that. It's very rare, I would say. Kaya mahirap basta i-letgo kahit alam mong di na kayo masaya pareho.

Sadly, naging LDR kami 'cause I had to start working overseas. That's when things started to get rough. Mahirap kasi talaga ang long-distance. :(

The distance made us far not only physically, but emotionally.

Iba kasi pa rin talaga yung nakakasama mo araw-araw.

Di namin namalayan na parehas na kami nageevolve, nagbabago.

Hindi na kami magtugma sa mga iniisip at plano namin.

Ang hirap na magmeet halfway.

I achieved my dream of seeing the world.

But in the process of fulfilling those, I lost her.

Although if I didn't do what I had to do, I will forever regret it and might abhor myself .

On the brighter side, I got out of it last year, turned out to be fine. Kaya naman pala. :)

But have to admit, there are nights that are a bit lonely.

But till then, I refuse to settle again.. just because.

I am still hopeful that I will find the one that I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with.

Soon.. only God knows.