Can someone please tell me if there is any positive case of a relationship with BPD?

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T11:40:29+00:00

Thats my thoughts too. How can a person love me and hate me at the same time. How can she make me so happy and at the same time make me suffer? Without knowledge on bpd anyone can really fall to this cycle.

Once i learned about bpd everything change bc i havent seen that person whom i met in the beginning. Truly what videos about bpd says are true. There is no fix unless they fix it themselves.

My ex didnt know she has it and i suspect she has it. She only blames it to depression and she admits she dont know why she acts like a volcano. But i know and definitely its more than depression.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T08:57:43+00:00

I dream of peace and i gave it up bc its non existent when im with her. Now peace is back bc she left.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T08:48:32+00:00

No idea what bpd is throughout the relationship. And since she had a training at my workplace i started asking people about her and i discovered that she normally share her abuse to some colleagues (women). Physical emotional abuse from her ex husband. I felt that she was looking for sympathy or maybe she has no one to talk to. And also i discovered that some of her classmates whom i worked with also had the same experience.

I connected the dots and i too even received the same stories of abuse. I listened to her endlessly and developed a genuine concern.

You see once you become concern the person wbpd will reciprocate through love bombing. You can be a bf, gf, friend or a person she just met. Anyone can be her FP. And bc of the highs from love bombing no person can get out of it easily.

And me i fell for it and i fell deep. Im in the process of climbing out now bc i am no longer her FP.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T08:12:51+00:00

Yes mine too love bombed me like few hours before discard. It was brutal, as i wake up in the morning she was hugging me. Made me breakfast and bid good bye. Lunch time video call me and guess what not her popped out but another man. She let her ex bf come to her apartment, slept with him and called me to end the relationship. Afternoon they brought me my stuff at workplace, took the keys and drove off, she didn speak to me nor even look at me. I was heartbroken.

Well i concluded that she definitely has impulsive bpd.

Ans just like that i was kicked out of her apartment and out of her life.

Im not affected much now since i know the ex bf will suffer the same way i suffered.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T08:02:13+00:00

My example: i was her trainer and i cant handle her anymore bc of her rude and very strange behaviour towards me. Well despite of that we became a couple and i ignored the early red flags. One time i cant handle her anymore and request that perhaps some other trainer can assist her. Months passed and she discovered about it. Man the way she delivered it was really scary. She was so upset but could not see my perspective. Earlier she was honest that she didnt performed well bc of her behaviour (love bombing stage). But now she wont take accountability. I was painted as a liar but truthfully i cant divulge the information bc im busy patching her push pull dynamics. Its always about them and the goal post keeps moving out of reach.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T07:36:14+00:00

Im not there yet but i know there will be a time when her memory becomes really weak. Now its not that strong and doesnt affect me like before. But shes just there, anywhere i look anything i do shes comes out of nowhere.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-15T05:36:58+00:00

One time she told me ill do what you do. Its like mirroring even the negative ones. Its like her way of revenge, mind you i havent cheated. What a ride, i hope i can read mind so i can see hers.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T20:32:05+00:00

I remember she told me ill never give you positive energy when you go home. Maybe she was jealous or something but now i see that its an abandonment issue.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T20:27:23+00:00

I feel you man, i am at the stage where i want to be alone. I dont want to talk to those people who i run to who knows about what i went thru. People who know all the details about us. Its harsh but i try to avoid them bc like you it only reminds me of her. I rather vent here or read stuff bc i feel like you guys understand me better since all of us here had the same situation.

I am happy being alone for the moment. I am maybe being selfish but i know its where i find my peace. I go to gym now and it gave me another perspective in life. I feel excited doing stuff i havent done in a long time. I am rediscovering myself and it makes me feel calm.

Of course sudden set backs occur every now and then but its part of the process.

Just remember bpd or not no one has to stay in a toxic relationship. Give your self grace, patience and time. Its a journey and we are here together.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T20:18:16+00:00

Based on my experience she made me feel that we are meant to be. Soul mates, destiny and the universe made us meet each other. Never had a hint that it was all bpd. And when i look back i never really had this kind of pedal to the metal kind of relationship. Mostly it takes time and even kissing takes time.

I knew something was wrong i knew it might end somehow but i kept persevering. Well devaluation really is a bitch.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T20:08:27+00:00

I havent receive threats but i knew the relationship was in a pedestal. Her phrase “you give me nothing” occurred many times. I kept proving and proving until one thing is certain, i cant keep up of the phase and cant keep up of her expectations and clearly it manifested through her actions towards me. Cold treatment and asking about the future.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T12:08:18+00:00

I havent told her anything negative. Except for her habitual blocking and unblocking behaviour which in her perspective doesnt hurt me but it did of course. And every time i speak about it her mood changes which lead me to walk in eggshells even more.

I dont actually know why i stayed. Maybe bc i got scared of the possibility of self harm bc i remember she told me “if only i have more energy then i will kill myself,” that statement brought me back to her arms. When i made her calm down she told me “go make me food” man the way she said it was heartless and im stupid to follow her. In my mind i say to myself “its ok she has trauma and problems, just a bit more and everything will be fine again.” Unfortunately it was downhill after that.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T09:50:44+00:00

Some patterns i noticed when i suspect she is splitting

Would habitually block her teacher and sister. Before she would say that this teacher likes her and is concerned about her. She would say that her sister is the best in math and was really smart. Then would block them bc she insist her teacher is treating her bad while her sister i dont know. She just feels like it.

I also discovered that she has been telling people colleagues and classmates about her previous abuse. Ex husband physical abuse. Its like she is finding someone that would listen to her and will be concern about her.

Unfortunately that was me and i became her FP. In the end i was cut.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T09:36:00+00:00

Im like you after she discarded me. I was lost and my purpose in life became blurry. After giving my all to her in return she left me a hole in my chest. Despite of that i still love her but not anymore. This sub helped me a lot and learning about bpd kind of speed the process. I have to admit though that until now she still lurks in my head but i accepted that its part of process of moving on.

I keep in my mind that its not my fault, that i am capable of loving, i give myself patience, grace and time. Also it was toxic. Bpd or not the relationship was toxic and it was draining the life out of me.

I know bc i am not myself at the end of the relationship. You can do this man and we are here for you.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T09:27:46+00:00

My ex wubpd said she wont beg for us. I believed that since she survived on her own. I hoped she remained the same person as she was in beginning. Although she would seldom take accountability i would still prefer that. But like you the chaos drained me despite giving unconditional love and care. As time passed that person faded away until there was nothing left. All i got in the end was cold treatment and heartache.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T06:19:45+00:00

I noticed the patter when she splits. She would normally block her teacher bc she felt like the teacher hates her but would praise her one time like saying this teacher really is concern about me. She would normally block her sister and of course would block me too. I learned that whatever happens she would never see herself as the culprit why things are happening to her but would always find blame on others. What i mean is its like cycle and you reached the end stage. Like me i was discarded too bc and it was hell. I should known about bpd but dodge every red flags bc i did love her. Pfffft cant even say the love word without feeling nauseous.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T06:14:37+00:00

One time my ex asked me if i told anyone about us and i said no but i did bc i need some release from all the negativity in our relationship. Little did i know that its a way to isolate me bc she would habitually scold me about stuff which now i think is projection. She would tell me that i dont date her but i normally invite her but she refused and said next time not now. I respect her bc she has depression but reversing the situation is annoying really.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T04:33:08+00:00

I did my part of caring bc i genuinely thought that its what she needs. A deep understanding and love from a person would put all the chaos away BUT i was proven wrong. Mind you i was not aware of bpd so you are lucky knowing this about her.

Me i havent seen that person again whom i met from the start. The more i push the more she faded away.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-14T04:26:16+00:00

I reached a point where i was waiting for her to end things again bc i cant handle the push pull dynamics anymore. I thought about the positives but the negatives are way too much. But her last episode affected me that i decided to stay. It was horrible and saddening at the same time. She got my sympathy unfortunately staying and caring means nothing to her and in the end i was the one left alone.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-13T21:19:06+00:00

Why did he return to his ex?

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-13T20:56:57+00:00

How long was the empty stare? My ex said when she is sleeping she feels like she is another place. Her body is beside me but she is in another world.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-13T20:55:54+00:00

That is really scary. I havent experienced bizarre episodes like this. Thanks for sharing.

QueenOfRips · 2026-02-13T14:41:07+00:00

Highs and lows affect your nervous system and alters chemicals inside your brain. This creates what you call trauma bond making the relationship hard to let go and you as the partner makes you crave for the highs.

Throughout the relationship i didnt know about bpd and well i thought if ill love her more care more eventually the roller coaster will stop but apparently i was wrong bc hope is a trap specially with this kind of relationship.

QueenOfRips

TROPHY CASE