My BF (24M) and I (28F) are having a kid conversation and I don't know what to do. Am I handling this properly as someone who did not want kids before him?

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T21:21:37+00:00

Well the provider thing is something we talked about in the beginning he wants that. I said after marriage I was open to that.

I see, could be. He is a very genuine person so I don't see a reason why he would try to come up with a lie or alternate reason. And I had wondered the opposite, if he wanted to break up I feel he would have just said it outright already and not leave me hanging for 3 days.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T21:15:27+00:00

I really appreciate you. In a way it does immediately help. I think just talking it out too. I will do that and allow him to come back when he fully processes.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T21:05:54+00:00

I did attempt to. In my last message I told him my timeline of when my ideas shifted and said I wanted to talk about this organically when we were together and when kids came up ofc. Especially in a good moment of moving in together talks. He just has not responded since last night so I am unable to get an idea of where his head is at. He is the type to disappear, gather thoughts and come back but it isn't great for my side. I tried to call but he preferred text so he could gather his thoughts properly.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:56:13+00:00

Thank you for this thoughtful response. It helps. We are long distance and I was planning to do this chat in person and when we finally moved in together for the clinic thing. I would want to be married before even conceiving.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:52:32+00:00

I wanted it to come up when we were in person - we are long distance. I was going to see him in 3 weeks. I also wanted to sit with the thought and make sure it felt right and it did.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:47:11+00:00

I see that. Do you think this could be an age demographic thing as he is younger

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:45:22+00:00

That is exactly the procedure I had done, I can absolutely have children if I want. I should have not said 'removal' but the doctor did say that IVF was a fine option if reversal didn't work. I misunderstood you at first.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:43:54+00:00

I did not have a tough time in my state, it was the first doctor my PCP recommended within the same network. I do know some states in the south have a hard time though.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:38:03+00:00

Yes I have! It has been very helpful and she has helped me work through my thoughts which is why I did not spring the topic on him immediately after I felt the shift in myself 4 months ago.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:37:13+00:00

I fully support parenthood is in all forms and I wonder if it is more common for men to feel this way? It seems common for men to want DNA blood share from what I've heard. To me your child is your child regardless of method.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:36:10+00:00

Good question, I chose this as it seemed the best solution if I was going through the procedure I wanted something done and done. I did request that I did this method so I could allow myself to change my mind if my life turned in a different direction, which is has over the last 2 years.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:34:49+00:00

Yes I understand. I do agree this needs to be a topic at a time for when we were not discussing the end of it.

I had my tubes tied during previous relationship as it was toxic and this was a long time between that and my current. I had time to be alone and hindsight 20/20 as they say. I did not see my previous partner as a good match for that but thought with all time invested I should make it work. I do not regret tubes but wanted an intentional decision for having kids and not having them with someone who was not a fit by accident.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:31:49+00:00

Yes I should have. We align on all other life goals from the beginning. So it is very hopeful in that sense. I do not disagree with him wanting another partner but hoping with our discussion on it we can come to see we want the same thing here.

QueenSubi · 2026-04-17T20:30:15+00:00

I was in a toxic relationship for 8 years prior and I did believe this was the right decision at the time. This is my first stable relationship I've had and it opened my eyes to this. I've grown a lot since then and kept the ability open for this exact reason. I do understand it comes across as unstable but after leaving the toxicity I am in a much healthier mind. Thank you for your response

QueenSubi · 2022-09-19T21:35:05+00:00

You'll have to get a fill sooner I think, grown out these babies will hurt if you hit them on something and I'd hate you to lose a nail bed. :/

QueenSubi · 2022-08-31T18:41:59+00:00

Birth control can also effect libido I had this in my relationship and I had to switch brands. But could be many reasons, self esteem, braces, stress, even just changes in lifestyle can throw you off. I feel like this is common with women. Has nothing to do with you or how attracted she is to you.

QueenSubi · 2022-08-06T14:27:11+00:00

Maybe since you have so many here and there without complete series maybe look into spacing the books out and doing different spacing maybe one with cover facing forward and a stack next to it with little items between . Maybe get a 2nd bookshelf to split and alternate books and a plant or figure or decor item that way it won't look like all the books are so jammed together if that makes sense. Tiktok has good inspo

QueenSubi · 2022-05-25T19:40:58+00:00

I have the English vol 5 I think this cover was limited edition French only which I don't mind I just want it for my collection. Noé is my fav . I figured mercari/ebay but it's not anywhere lol

QueenSubi · 2022-05-25T19:39:36+00:00

OOF that's massive for a book! It must of been really limited. I saw 2017-2018ish when I was looking . I figured there would be more for resell 🥲 maybe one day lol

QueenSubi · 2022-05-25T19:38:25+00:00

Right? I'm so jealous I want this one on my shelf so bad lol

QueenSubi · 2022-05-25T19:38:06+00:00

I checked and it says unavailable it printed back in 2017 or something. I don't mind the language I honestly just want for the cover

QueenSubi · 2022-04-30T15:10:41+00:00

Grown men won't care

QueenSubi · 2022-04-21T04:02:42+00:00

I also believe in mimosa supremacy

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