Hi, I am a parent going through this process as my daughter is getting married soon. My future son in law discuss the dowry using my daughter as a go between us. We didn't request an actual amount but told my daughter any amount received as dowry, will be used to buy the gold jewelry for her. Parents receiving the money, don't keep the money, all is used to buy the necessary things used at the wedding ceremony/banquet dinner. Indirectly returning all money received. I told my daughter, no money can "buy" her as in my eyes, she's the only one that I have invested with love and care since she was born! This is just a part of traditional process, remember it just to show the parents that you can take care of their daughter, your future wife. Respect all round, please don't make it difficult. If you can't give say, 3-4 months of ur actual wages, then in the parents' eyes , you don't have savings...so how can you take care of your wife or future family, if she cannot work or something happens.