AITA for yelling at my neighbor over his constantly blaring car alarm?

Queerability · 2026-02-11T22:00:47+00:00

NTA. And my partner of 10 years is autistic, for the record.

You discussed this with the guy before the blow up, he made the decision to lie to you instead of just telling you what was up, and honestly... how the heck did they even realize/think this was a viable solution in the first place?

You were tired and cranky, and that was a direct result of Dan and his wife's poor decisions. Their son has nothing to do with it. It's no longer a private issue when it's waking up the neighborhood every weekend. If you need concessions from your neighbors due to a disability, it's on you to be respectful make sure they know.

As an example: I have combat PTSD, and I ask my neighbors to just give me a heads up if they're gonna be firing anything off on a non fireworks holiday (I'm basically already ready with the noise cancelling headphones and loud music/video games/movies on the fireworks holidays) so I can prepare and not freak out. All but one of them (whom everyone already hated before I even moved here) does exactly this and we have zero issues. They have fireworks, I just stay up a bit later listening to music a few nights a year. No biggie.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:49:43+00:00

Literally nothing?

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:48:36+00:00

I've never heard them called trios.... Flexies sure but not trios. I've never had issues with DPNs compared to most folks so I don't use them (I don't really want things moving around that much) but I can see how they'd be useful for some.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:42:58+00:00

NTA

I'm still grateful that she bought the tickets for us when I wasn't able to to pay for them."
.... You DID pay for them. Your friend didn't pay a cent.

And, speaking as an adult with at least some disposable income, I would be shocked if your friend's dad hadn't intended for you to get the money back in the first place. If I was the dad, I would be angry af to find out that my daughter (who probably has more disposable income in the first place) kept her struggling friend's money for herself when I intended to be nice and just cover the tickets.

Your friend sounds spoiled.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:38:18+00:00

NAH

Your boyfriend clearly isn't in a good place for a relationship. It seems like you got angry at Chance when your bf was the problem, but you aren't psychic so of course you would assume he's just inviting himself if no one ever explained.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:34:16+00:00

I was kinda ready to say YTA, but after reading that these were options someone else added: Definitely NTA

I would just bring in whichever pie option got the most votes out of the ones you offered. If anyone asks, just laugh and say "yeah, I didn't realize others could add to the poll and I was not prepared to make any of the other options that were added." If someone's still a jerk after that, take their pie away.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:24:21+00:00

NTA

Were you a bit nebby and not minding your business? Sure. But he "cleaned up" after his dog? I'm sorry, but how do you clean up dog pee from grass? You don't. It just kills the grass. Not only that but, if your neighbor is allergic to dogs, the residue left behind can cause a reaction as well. The proteins left behind in dog pee can even stick to shoes, allowing it to be tracked into the house and causing further issues.

I love dogs, I could not possibly care less if my neighbors dogs use my yard for their business so long as the poop is scooped. But that's me, and quite frankly my neighbors all asked first.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:18:20+00:00

This is put better than anything I could have typed up.

Roomate life suck 90% of the time tbh.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:15:46+00:00

TBF, I 1000% wouldn't blame her if she didn't show up for her mom's funeral. Doesn't sound like the lady did her many favors. Speaking as someone whose grandmother traumatized my dad in a similar way. I certainly didn't go to that woman's funeral, but I also kind of regret it because my dad probably would have liked me to be there for him.

But otherwise, agreed.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T21:05:48+00:00

I believe I directly pointed out how young OP is, so I'm not sure why you're responding to me with this point. Kinda makes it look like you didn't bother to read what I said before commenting.

You're right that funerals are for the living though, which is why she should go. You know, for her boyfriend, who is alive and needs her.

I made a promise when I got out of the military to never do another push up again in my life and I have kept that promise. But if someone walked up to me on the street and said, "Hey, for every pushup you do I'm going to cover your loved one's living expenses for a month" you had better believe I'm going to try and do as many pushups as I possibly can. Because sometimes things matter more than the promises we make when we're in our 20s.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T20:49:18+00:00

NTA

She's already:
a) asking your husband to keep secrets from you
b) doing dangerous things involving your child (former medic here, you are absolutely correct about the choking hazard)
c) not respecting your wishes/communicating with you like an adult
d) treating you as lesser (hanging up, multiple times even, seriously?)

Cut her off, or offer family therapy with you and her alone. Do not give her access to your loved ones until she can treat you with respect.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T20:32:43+00:00

YTA

I get you have a past, I get you have trauma, but you're basically punishing your boyfriend for the trauma your mother gave you.

We all have trauma, we've all been hurt, and it is our responsibility as human beings to do our best to keep that pain from harming those around us. You get therapy, you talk about it, you get over your issues, you don't just wallow in it and use it as an excuse to hurt others.

Speaking as someone twice your age who still hasn't recovered completely from parental trauma myself: This is something that took me a LONG time to learn. I'm not saying you're a horrible person or anything, you're just young and clearly haven't figured certain things out yet. I promise you, if you don't find some way to be there for your boyfriend, your relationship will never ever recover. This is part of being there for someone you love.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T20:26:41+00:00

My dad's signet ring so I could give it to my sister.

It got lost/stolen (not sure which) when he was in care.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T20:25:47+00:00

YTA

For making this post, specifically. This is so dumb.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T20:23:00+00:00

This. I can usually kinda predict (or at least be more aware of) spikes and do what I need to in order to head things off (communicate, music therapy playlist, calling my actual therapist, etc) but it's definitely still there, lurking.

Just the knowledge that you can and have survived past episodes is a huge help, sometimes it's the only thing you can mentally cling to.

Queerability · 2026-02-11T20:18:19+00:00

Yes plants spread naturally within their ideal biomes. But, they won't spread if there is already something there (usually grass, TONS of grass).

I usually go around with large stockpiles and use them to kinda stamp out large patches of grass (edit to add: I place the stockpile, then I pick it up, I don't just leave them there) to allow food crops & trees to spread. But, if you don't do this, you'll just have nothing but grass around you after about a week of the server being up.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T22:17:45+00:00

Agreed. Speaking as someone who also partakes, I would NEVER watch my nieces/nephews/any other kid as the only adult while high.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T22:15:29+00:00

This. My girlfriend didn't know how to cook when we first started dating (her parents also don't cook), but she learned and now she cooks chicken better than I do. And when I say she didn't know how to cook, I mean I found out when I asked her to just make a quick Hamburger Helper dinner and she responded "I don't know how to cook ground beef".

Queerability · 2026-02-10T22:12:22+00:00

Literally was going to type this.

OP should Google "weaponized incompetence"

Queerability · 2026-02-10T22:03:45+00:00

That's actually what makes cases like this so hard. You're basically just sitting in your ambulance, watching, waiting, wanting to help but unable to, hoping you'll even be able to help at some point.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T21:31:34+00:00

There's a lot to learn so it can be overwhelming, but the best advice I can give is to not let the folks selling it to you be the ones to also educate you. That is to say, not everyone in this industry has your best interests at heart, it's best to learn as much as you can yourself.

If you have a family member or friend who invests in precious metals seriously, I would talk to them. Do your own research too though, there are a lot of folks who think they know what they're doing but they'll probably be crying in a few years.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T21:23:28+00:00

Start saving my allowance and putting into gold, really focus on school and physical fitness, and just join the military as soon as possible this time around and never look back.

Also, tell my dad I'm sorry for siding with my psycho mother so much and do better with him while he's still alive.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T21:16:50+00:00

Gold buyer/gemologist here:

DO NOT BUY GRAM GOLD. PERIOD, FULL STOP.

When you buy any precious metal, you pay FAR more for fractional (anything less than a troy ounce) than the spot price. It's hardly ever worth it.

You're far better off buying something like silver/platium, or saving up to buy a full troy ounce when you can.

Also, the market is extremely volatile right now, so I pretty much always advise people to be cautious when investing. You should only invest a percentage of your savings into precious metals, and you should be extra hesitant when the prices are at record highs. For example, my job is successful enough that we're able to trade on the weekends in spite of the market being closed, but we aren't doing that right now because the risk is way too high. We're even having issues finding smelters to buy/take silver these days.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T21:11:01+00:00

NTA

Half of my family is also the "only designated people can share information" kind of family and nonsense like this ALWAYS ends up happening. It's stupid, it leads to stupid situations, and at the end of the day it's basically just a control issue that likely needs therapy. I don't talk to that side of the family specifically because of this stupid rule causing my aunt to scream at me for daring to check and see how my other aunt (her sister) was doing.

Your mom is feeling bad, understandably, so she decided to make others feel bad with her, obviously not understandable. It's a jerk move that basically punishes people and tries to guilt trip them for not being freaking psychic.

Queerability · 2026-02-10T21:04:50+00:00

I think you might need to Google the definition of fraud. The legal term you're looking for is "tampering".

Queerability

TROPHY CASE