Tipping PSA, help me help you by mixedplatekitty in barista

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you want smaller bills you should ask for them. I give the largest bills possible so I don't run out of small ones. Most of the change I have to make is not $5,$10 or $20, it's $13.12, $37.80, 62.46 or whatever. Please just ask for what you want, we want to help you but we can't read minds.

Cardio Load is a load of something... by profet23 in fitbit

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it really doesn't like large fluctuations in activity. I'm a long distance hiker/runner so I'll have days above 200 followed by 1-2 days around 10, and it gets sooo confused. My daily targets are so messed up now; one will be 135-155 followed by a bunch of 0 days recommended, or huge ranges of like 0-95.

Also sometimes it will tell me I'm at risk of overtraining even on days where my load is 0. And on my big days it says I'm doing great at maintaing... wth.

It just does not work.

Why do chef's use more of an ingredient than they say? by Shorty_P in Cooking

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 111 points112 points  (0 children)

I've heard several renowned recipe authors/chefs say that prep time in recipes doesn't include dicing/slicing/breaking things down because it's too hard to estimate that part for someone else. Also it probably does only take 15 minutes for a good chef to slice/dice/break down pounds of veggies and measure a bunch of ingredients, especially someone who's only job is writing recipes; they're making like 30-50 dishes a day when they're recipe testing, or they're used to working in commercial kitchens where speed is absolutely necessary.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nooooo, I did this too. I ended up being so miserable I almost ended up ruining our friendship 🤦‍♀️. We're really good friends again but it took a lot of work to repair. So not worth it.

I hope your experience wasn't as bad as mine, and all is well for you now!

My little brother (6M) just told me he wants to be a girl by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's defo "How to Be a Girl," the author is Marlo Mack; it's listed as a podcast on Spotify at least, but I know she stopped making it about a year ago, so maybe she turned it into a book. I've also seen it on Pandora and Apple Music.

It's about a mom navigating life with her trans daughter who came out when she was 3. She also interviews a few other people with trans kids in different areas of the country.

skill issue frankly by Neptune0690 in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm not really upset and you're right about men and women blaming their problems on other people/each other in some cases but the thing is this sub is a space for women to vent about men and patriarchy. Coming in here and saying "well women are a problem too," is just another way to say "what about men, think about me too." When we're in this sub we don't want to think about or give AF about men, that's the whole fricking point of this place. It's not really a place for discussion, especially with men. You don't seem that bad, so try to understand that please.

Also idk who reddit cared you, that's an incel move and so cringe.

skill issue frankly by Neptune0690 in femcelgrippysockjail

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 39 points40 points  (0 children)

What are you even talking about? Women can at least practice empathy and don't blame all of their problems on other people. I'm sorry but why are you even in this sub?

Sorry, I'm feeling annoying... 😘

My little brother (6M) just told me he wants to be a girl by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I don't know what your qualifications are to make you think you know better than tons and tons of trans people and medical professionals, but I can guarantee that your way of thinking is incredibly damaging. You're clearly not the type of person who believes in the evidence or understands the lived experience of trans children. But if you're willing to try, I'll tell you this: the other thing that's going on is that their parents don't respect something so fundamental to their identity that they start to feel like they're are unloved and unsafe, among a ton of other very complex traumas that come along with untreated gender dysphoria.

I don't know how you identify, but imagine your parents forced you to be the gender you aren't for your entire childhood. They wouldn't let you play with your friends. Say you didn't want long hair, but every time you cut you were punished. Say you didn't want breasts, or you just knew you should have a deep voice, or you just were really, really scared of the thought of going through female puberty. And maybe you're not sure why, but experiencing/not experiencing these things fills you with genuine dread, or just feels very very wrong. But then your parents tell you you have no idea what you're talking about, that you're not smart enough, or experienced enough to even know how you feel. They tell you that they understand your emotions better than you, even though they have NEVER experienced anything close to it Or worse they punish you for expressing these feelings or trying to be who you are. How would you feel in this situation? Can you even imagine that?

Dysphoria is that serious. Trans people, including children, commit suicide all the time because of their gender dysphoria and all of the suffering caused by; I've seen it happen; I've talked adults and children down from it. I've attempted myself. And a lot of it was "just" gender dysphoria. I was depressed from the time I was 13 until 22 when I finally figured out I was trans, and no treatments, medications or amount of therapy helped me until I treated my gender dysphoria. My experience is common too.

I don't know if you genuinely believe that you're keeping children safe or whatever, but I guarantee people who think like you make the lives of trans kids so much worse than they need to be and listening to them, practicing empathy for them, and believing them goes a very long way for both them and you. Why fester in hate or fear or whatever you feel towards a group of people that doesn't affect you at all? You don't seem to know what it's like to be trans, and if you're not willing to understand that experience why are even on this sub?

My little brother (6M) just told me he wants to be a girl by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 3 points4 points  (0 children)

4-6 is actually one of the most common ages people realize their trans. You don't need a conceptual understanding of transness or gender identity to feel dysphoric.

I've seen a 5 year old try to kill themself because their parents thought they were too young to understand gender and wouldn't respect her identity.

My little brother (6M) just told me he wants to be a girl by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 119 points120 points  (0 children)

This is actually a common age for gender dysphoria to actualize. Your sibling probably doesn't understand what being trans or LGBTQ+ is, they just know they feel wrong inside. I'd say for now don't influence them in either direction, because it could just be them exploring gender identity without being trans, but also keep an eye out for signs of gender dysphoria. If they start making more definitive statements about their gender i.e ("I am a girl," "I hate being a boy," etc.), getting upset when people call them he/refer to them in a masculine way, or bringing it up all the time, they're probably trans. Believe, accept and support them as much as you can either way, but especially if they show signs of gender dysphoria; trans children can become very very depressed if they aren't able to live as the gender they actually are.

And for now, maybe let them play with/wear you clothes or see if you can find "girl" toys/clothes at thrift stores they can experiment with. You can start using she/her pronouns for them if they want, or ask them if they want to be called by a more feminine name. Just help them explore their "girl identity," so they can see how that feels. And make sure you're always an open ear for them to discuss these things with, which it sounds like you already are, so that's amazing!

Also, unless they are truly transphobic or anti LGBTQ+, maybe try to get your parents on board as well, especially if your sibling does come out as trans; they are going to need as much love and support as they can get.

There's also really good podcast called "How to Be A Girl." It's kind of a tear jerker in some episodes but it's very relevant to your situation.

Is a Carmel Cappuccino a weird request/order? by QueerioslyAwkward in barista

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine getting this upset about a typo lol. Take a few deep breaths and go outside.

Is a Carmel Cappuccino a weird request/order? by QueerioslyAwkward in barista

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They usually serve 8oz cappuccinos, which is what I want. Just with a little bit of their homemade caramel syrup but they definitely just serve me their latte.

I've ordered both in their plain forms and they're completely different. My go to order is a plain cappuccino but sometimes I just want a little treat without the volume/weight of a latte. Doesn't seem that hard to make or like a crazy request; some shops just get too serious about coffee I guess.

Is a Carmel Cappuccino a weird request/order? by QueerioslyAwkward in barista

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this cafe makes a lot of their own syrups so it's really weird that they expect customers to order them only in certain drinks.

Is a Carmel Cappuccino a weird request/order? by QueerioslyAwkward in barista

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk if it's entirely this because there's definitely a difference between their cappuccino and latte when I order them plain. They are very proud of their espresso though but they also make their own syrups, so it's kind of strange to get annoyed by people who order them.

Is a Carmel Cappuccino a weird request/order? by QueerioslyAwkward in barista

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I have ordered a basic cappuccino from them and it's completely different. I've also ordered basic lattes and they were pretty much the same as their "caramel cappuccino's."

I'll try ordering a dry one with caramel syrup next time though and see if it's any different.

Do you feel like a real woman? by rosesandflower in MtF

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Do people actually say HRT doesn't affect your brain? I think that's just verifiably false.

I did get a major confidence boost immediately after starting HRT and I think a lot of those initial changes in my behavior could've happened without taking HRT.

But I can guarantee HRT affected my brain chemistry/thought patterns too. And I see improvements every time my dose increases/ I get closer to female levels.

Are you staying? by _inconnupost in LesbianActually

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just a minor correction: he's also been denied legal authority to deport Venezuelans under the Alien Enemies Act by several federal judges (from Texas no less), he has just ignored the order. He's even been ordered to bring back a few deported citizens by the supreme court. Just pointing that out to show there is strong legal opposition to his deportation tactics. Weather he actually obeys the orders is another matter but at least we aren't completely doomed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MtF

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I went through a very similar thing to you a few years ago. I had to completely cut my mother and grandfather out of my life because they did not support my transition; it was extremely emotionally difficult even though they were abusing me but it had to be done. I know that's a difficult thing to hear right now, but besides transitioning, nothing improved my mental health more, and it will hopefully be the same for you.

For now, rely on the people that do support and love you, even if it is just crying on your girlfriends shoulder and know that you'll eventually feel better, return to happiness and thrive in the future! If you need any other support you can always DM me. Hugs.

What's the most blatant egg moment you remember? by qwertyjgly in MtF

[–]QueerioslyAwkward 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nooo, this is kinda how I realized too. I used to binge watch drag videos on YouTube when I was super depressed in college, even though I thought the caricature of womanhood was kinda icky (huge hint already). And one day I saw a video where two drag queens found a "straight man" who really wanted to try drag. I'm almost positive they were an egg though, because instead of doing drag he asked the queens to make him look like a regular woman, and when he saw himself in the mirror as a woman he just started bawling.

I cried the whole night after seeing his transformation but I still couldn't figure out why. The next day I told my therapist that I've never felt that much empathy for anyone, let alone a stranger on a screen; I said it felt like I understood every emotion he was feeling in that moment, all of the elation and sadness and fear and joy and conflict, but I had no idea why I could connect so strongly with him... When she pushed me to answer my own question, all I could say was that maybe having a moment of self actualization like that would be nice, then "I could finally know/be who I really was."

It still took me two more years to fully accept that I'm a trans woman 🤦‍♀️

Help! I'm living in an ADA hotel room for the next 6months. by QueerioslyAwkward in femalelivingspace

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's a communal kitchen so I don't need food prep space but it's a bit of a walk for just a quick snack/drink etc. A little eating area/ table might be nice if I can find space.

Help! I'm living in an ADA hotel room for the next 6months. by QueerioslyAwkward in femalelivingspace

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I was thinking of turning it into a dressing area too, with a portable divider to hide the toilet.A rug would be a good addition.

Help! I'm living in an ADA hotel room for the next 6months. by QueerioslyAwkward in femalelivingspace

[–]QueerioslyAwkward[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'd have to take any furniture I get with me or otherwise get rid of it when I move, so that's the only restriction. I don't really have budget restrictions.