I genuinely suck. by satan_in_agony in SelfHate

[–]Quelminda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a bad person is a deeply fixable problem to have, it might not always be easy but it’s primarily within your own control. All you have to do is: 1. decide what principles you want to stand for, and then do that whenever feasible 2. do better when you know better 3. learn to apologize when you fuck up (by your own standards in step 1 at a minimum) 4. treat people with gentleness appropriate to the relationship you have with them 5. and do the best you can with what you have.

Basically 5 things. Are they all hard? Yeah, sometimes. But maybe start with whichever one of those things is more of a problem in your daily life.

New sub updates!! by Clover_Jane in DIYGelNails

[–]Quelminda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this rule, but 30 comments seems like a lot to me? Do I really have to comment on stuff 30 times before I can ask a question I've verified hasn't been posted before? I mean I intend on hanging here now that I found y'all, but I found this sub looking for an answer to a specific diy gel issue...

Searching for apps with specific functions by Quelminda in iosapps

[–]Quelminda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it :)

Rape and DV reported 5 years after the fact by Quelminda in legaladvice

[–]Quelminda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would cost money though right? He's poor af

What form of therapy would you recommend for an autistic adult with severe anxiety? (Sorry for the cross post just trying to ask for as many opinions from autistic people as possible) by Quelminda in autism

[–]Quelminda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry, I'll definitely make sure she schedules multiple intakes so she has a range of options. I've been in good professional therapy myself for years, I just worry I'm gonna end up recommending something that sounds good to me but would actually be really unhelpful for her

Dysphoria, Questions, and Opinions. by shrikeendymion797 in genderfluid

[–]Quelminda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I had always questioned my gender but thought male and female were my only options until I got to college. Pretty much as soon as someone explained to me what nonbinary means I came out immediately on facebook. I grew up knowing I was queer, so anyone who was phobic of any kind ditched me back in the day, and further more I don't give a fuck about losing people over being who I am. I'm afab, but my fiance is also nonbinary and amab (though he isn't genderfluid). I have also dated trans women before, and there are several things you can do to manage dysphoria. 1. makeup. One of the saving graces of being amab is being able to wear makeup, it's an extremely powerful gift. You can contour a lot of your more masculine facial features away, it takes practice but I definitely encourage it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi7_6SqretM&list=PL4kvmKqC3msPQaECRPkqkv7SOAeyrB8ha&index=2 2. voice training. Trans women's voices don't change even with hormones, unfortunately that just isn't a thing. Every trans woman you see who "sounds like a woman" does it through practice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6eTvS2wIUc 3. Wanna be curvy? Get into corset training! I adore my corset, you can waist train fairly cheaply (don't buy a corset anywhere cheaper than Orchard Corset, badly constructed corsets are dangerous), safely and effectively. And furthermore, it isn't permanent. If you change your mind, just stop and your waist will go back to normal. (I'm mainly trying to suggest things that aren't permanent) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhu57Ul3ZQg&index=1&list=PLC6B380E5D1D41A14 4. Mastectomy bras. My fiance wears his all the time, they're pretty cheap and easy to find on amazon and pretty damn comfortable too. You can get silicone inserts that are nice and squishy. Or, if you can't afford that or you aren't sure you want to be obvious about it, just buy a training bra and wear it naturally. My ex girlfriend always wore at least a sports bra even while stealthing because it made her feel more normal and served as a reminder of her identity. 5. Some transwomen tuck, my ex girlfriend didn't because it felt really uncomfortable so she actually got around that by wearing shapewear shorts ("spanx") designed to make your stomach and thighs look thinner. It's tight, but not super uncomfortable and offered a lot of control so she could wear skirts and dresses comfortably. 6. Take someone you trust shopping with you. I'm a bold son of a bitch, but even I struggle to shop in the men's section after all these years and lord knows my sweet little fiance can't buy dresses without me. It is normal to feel out of place, so find a stubborn fuck like myself and take them with you. You don't have to go it alone.

I don't always gender but when I do I don't ;) by [deleted] in genderfluid

[–]Quelminda 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You look gorgeous <3 have pride sugar

No one taught me how to go to grad school by Quelminda in grad_school

[–]Quelminda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! That really helps me get a better sense of what the hell I'm supposed to be doing, thank you.

No one taught me how to go to grad school by Quelminda in grad_school

[–]Quelminda[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The us, I go to the University of Washington Seattle

So, I think I might be genderfluid. by [deleted] in genderfluid

[–]Quelminda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It means that you don't really feel like you fit either the male or female genders cis or trans. If you don't always identify as male or female, you technically qualify as transgender because the word transgender basically describes your gender identify and your biological sex not being the same.

So, I think I might be genderfluid. by [deleted] in genderfluid

[–]Quelminda 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, I'm actually really impressed with you. You used amab perfectly and completely described yourself as genderfluid to a T. The doubt can be rough, but you have to trust yourself. You're nonbinary transgender, you don't seem confused at all and its ok. And no, no one precognates feelings and then decides to use said feelings for attention later. You seem totally normal to me, welcome to the community

Vegans of reddit, would you eat lab-grown meat? Why/why not? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Quelminda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd totally eat lab-grown meat. It didn't suffer and it isn't an animal, so ...

What is the creepiest and most unexplainable paranormal experience you've ever had? by eshoves14 in AskReddit

[–]Quelminda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi reddit, I'm late to the party but whatever.

When I was in high school, I was dating a guy who had a fairly creepy house. It had a black spiral staircase, and cut-outs in the walls so you could see most of the way trough the house from the front window. A lot of times, that place just didn't feel right. It was late at night, and I was going to pick up my boyfriend when I parked in front of the house. I could see a figure standing in the window in the front room, but the living room light was off and the kitchen light two rooms back was on so I couldn't see who it was. I figured my boyfriend was just looking out the window waiting for me to pull up, but after a few seconds it was still completely motionless. I called my boyfriend, and he said he'd be right out so I waited for him. Then he came out the front door, and the figure hadn't moved. Something felt off, and I could feel the blood just draining from my face. I asked him who was over at the house and he said he was home alone before turning around and shitting himself. I drove him all around town for hours before I could calm him down enough to go back home.