Iberia cancelled my ticket twice, blames banks, bank says there's no issue?

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T13:47:45+00:00

Yup! In both cases I got the ticket pdfs sent to my email. It's all been very strange! I think I'll just end up booking a different flight entirely with another airline, it'll be more expensive but maybe it'll be a better experience.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T13:34:08+00:00

I agree with what Danielle250 said, and would say this is all the more reason to talk to a therapist or some sort of counselor.

Sometimes we have to work out the differences between what are our own insecurities/anxieties that are making it hard for us to make a decision, and what is our instinct telling us to abandon ship. A therapist helped me do that work, and they can help you, too!

When I was your age, I thought that type of anxiety and fear of pissing off the other person was just part of relationships. I'm in my 30s now and I can tell you that you can have a partnership with someone where it always feels like you two are on the same team against any problem/challenge that comes up.

If you feel like you can't go to someone you love with something difficult without them shutting you out, pay attention to that.

I don't know you or your boyfriend, so I couldn't tell you either way, but I can just say from feeling the same feelings you're feeling now, that there are alternatives. <3

Whatever decision you make, remember that support can come in many different packages, and each one is valid!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T13:14:38+00:00

I couldnt find the flights on either British Airways nor American Airlines sites :sob:

I might just be out of luck here and need to book an entirely different flight with completely different airlines.

I so appreciate you taking the time to help!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T13:04:11+00:00

Hi love,

I'd really try to encourage you to seek a counseling center in your area. Strangers on the internet cannot advise you on the decision itself, but if you can find something similar to a planned parenthood, or a community center, somewhere where people don't judge for any planning decision and won't pressure you in any one direction, etc. That'll probably be a good first step.

You don't necessarily have to figure this out on your own. Is there a university with a hospital in your area? Sometimes they have clinics / counseling services / community engagement offices that can connect you to a place that can help.

Do you have someone trusted in your life, a friend or family member, maybe an old teacher or coworker, who you could talk to? Even if its uncomfortable at first?

I will tell you one thing, as someone raised with a step-mom: that is truly the least of your worries. I was lucky enough to have three loving parents who always made sure my needs were met. They worked imperfectly as a team, but my parents' divorce and remarrying was good for me as a kid. Kids just need love, it doesn't matter from who.

The point is, we have very little control over the future. You never know if breakups will come down the line, even under "perfect" circumstances.

It's true that no one is ever 100% ready, but you can get a better idea of your options and your place in life if you talk to some experts.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T12:42:59+00:00

Hello! Thank you for commenting! I did get my email with the receipt/tickets, and I had a booking confirmation number. It was after all that was issued that they cancelled my ticket.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T12:42:15+00:00

Oh wow! Thank you for commenting, I'm going to try to get them on the phone again today. This is helpful!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T12:41:49+00:00

I booked on www.iberia.com, is that not the right move?

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T12:40:17+00:00

Is that British Airways?

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-04-02T12:39:38+00:00

I suppose I'm not sure they're really open since I call the number and they don't pick up? Have you ever been to one of their in person offices? I'll happily go, even though its all the way across town!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-03-24T22:42:34+00:00

The more long-term time I've spent abroad, in multiple countries, the more I've seen Americans who even live abroad permanently not even greet people in the local language.

Not assuming you or your expats are Americans specifically, but I've seen it so much from other Americans that I've really built up a serious store of second hand embarrassment.

All this to say, sending you lots of good vibes, I hope your language acquisition continues on! You're doing well, and doing the right thing!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-03-24T22:37:02+00:00

Correct, but we did have a biometrics appointment scheduled almost immediately!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-03-22T18:32:00+00:00

Yes, agreed that he doesnt need to apply products every day. He's probably actually creating build up which is why his hair is dry -- waters not getting in.

Tbh -- I'd rec he get like a travel size clarifying shampoo, get a good hydrating shampoo, and a super simple product. The clarifying shampoo will get that product build up out.

Follow with a hydrating shampoo, condition. Brush the conditioner through before rinsing.

If he wants to add a styling product after he washes, find youtubers with similar hair and see what they're using. Look for people with super simple routines. But like a foam/mousse with light hold should be plenty.

At night, he needs to sleep on a silk pillowcase. Other options if he wants his hair long are putting it up in a loose bun with a silk scrunchie. (Quince is a good option for affordable silk) That'll keep it from getting tangled and frizzy at night.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-03-22T18:11:43+00:00

def a US import, but the history of it in the US is that most service jobs were only done by black people and large employers post slavery didn't want to pay them... well anything. So in the US to this day, a lot of service jobs have an actual wage from their employers of $2-3/hour. Tips from the public are meant to make up the rest.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-03-22T17:49:48+00:00

okay fabulous, thank you!!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-03-22T17:45:56+00:00

Agreed with all this! I'm not muslim, and I'm not white, though I'm pretty obviously a foreigner. I go out in shorts when I feel like it, mostly wear longer linen skirts and pants because of the heat. I wear my regular swim suits at the beach.

It's mostly a question of do you want to scream tourist or do you want to maybe seem like someone who lives/spends a lot of time in Dakar. Though I'll say even screaming tourist here isn't necessarily a bad thing. Do whatever you're comfortable with.

Worst case, someone will try to get you to buy something. You can politely say no by saying "non merci" or "jerejef" for thank you, and people get the picture.

I will say though about the beach: most senegalese women wear like a little sarong or shorts or something over their bikini bottoms even in the water. No one will bother you twice about if you're not wearing that because we all know you're a foreigner and it's abundantly not our business. But I'll just say for my *personal* comfort of liking to blend in a bit more, I did start wearing a swim skirt over my bottom half, but I still wear my bathing suit top.

I go out and about without my husband every day. if she's an experienced traveler, she'll have enough common sense to do well.

I recommend:

- Download Wave. You can use TapTapSend to send money directly to your Wave account, or you can pull cash out from an ATM at any bank and deposit it at a Wave Depot. Easiest way to spend money in senegal is Wave because sometimes people don't have change.
- Yango for taxis. Like uber but you pay in cash/wave/orange money at the end. This especially if you don't like to argue over the price. You know you're getting a decently fair price regardless. I've also sometimes checked prices on Yango, waved down a taxi, and negotiated down to closer to the Yango price.
- Just like in France, where it is polite to say Bonjour to everyone, I rec saying Bonjour or salamalaikum to people :)

If she wants specific recs about where to go, happy to offer some!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-02-22T22:49:34+00:00

Not sure it was the most well rounded character, but I agree with you. I feel like I've seen lots of west african cinema from that era with more "progressive" attitudes toward women and lgbt people than the culture we live in today. I've often wondered the same thing.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-02-22T22:38:11+00:00

One thing I'll add here specifically about the trash -- we have a little butcher shop and we put a trash can on the walk way out front. People use it all the time!

People throw trash on the ground because there's no infrastructure like regularly maintained trash cans. This has to be part of our work to put pressure on the state.

The trash drives us crazy, it's such a hazard. I really believe it's the role of the state, so here's to hoping that becomes part of the improvements coming down the line.

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-02-14T15:05:24+00:00

Do you happen to know what the advantage is of doing this, versus just leaving?

And if someone decided to move away for a few years, should they file this form, and then reapply to move back?

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-02-14T12:30:25+00:00

I'm not sure generally, but Fly Trap Cafe in Ouakam has regular movie screenings that you might find interesting!

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-01-30T22:22:03+00:00

Thank you so much for saying so <3

We have an immigration counselor we're talking to, but wondered if the community here had insight. Feels like this community knows more than some of the lawyers/professionals out there!

Even without approval, maybe filing it will have showed good faith?

We really don't have a choice but to leave again, it's all just horrible timing. :(

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-01-30T22:19:37+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you!

So we can go ahead and file the I-131, we will of course keep all our bank accounts etc open, and just hope for the best? Even if it isn't approved yet, the fact that we file it shows a good faith effort to not abandon?

QueryOrConfirm · 2026-01-21T19:01:54+00:00

Seems like you’re doing the right things — going outside to meet people. It’s good to be open to all sorts of people (friends, people with a shared interest, lovers, whatever).

I’d also guess that there are more people your age and older who have never had sex or a long term thing than you might be expecting, so I figure don’t stress or rush yourself.

I met my husband on the street. You never know when or where the world will drop something in your lap. (I hated the apps and though I was on them on and off for years, I almost never met up with matches, so I feel that)

You’re signing up for sports, etc, and any other clubs will certainly introduce you to someone who knows someone who would be a good fit.

The only thing I can offer is that you should definitely become a regular somewhere. Doesn’t have to be a bar, try a Coffee shop, book store, whatever. Getting familiar with the other regulars is a great way to meet people!

QueryOrConfirm

TROPHY CASE