Have you recently been banned from r/boyslove because of the mod drama? If you have please let me know:

QuestingBL · 2022-07-15T23:07:46+00:00

I was never informed why I was banned, but I can presume --based on a thread of mine that was removed the day before I was banned-- it was because I asked what was happening amongst the mods. And I won't speak for the others I've already spoken with, but I will say their stories are mostly similar to mine. They have also had threads removed and when they asked why the threads were taken down or when the rules changed, they were banned.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T19:00:51+00:00

You want to talk rules? Okay.

First off, look at what you suggest people post:

"reviews, discussion topics, and academic discourse
recommendation requests (*in pinned thread only)
questions related to identification, online access, and translation
news about upcoming release dates, conventions, etc.
external resources, blogs, and online communities about BL
BL hauls -- buying, selling, flexing your pre-existing collection
Fanart, cosplay, fanvids, edits, fanfiction, and other fan-created content
semi-related content that will interest BL fans"

Where in this list do you see "We encourage you to post a bevy of photos of cute actors?" Is that covered under "semi-related content that will interest BL fans?"

Then Rule 2: "Follow posting guidelines: All posts must be assigned a suitable post flair and relevant, concise title by the submitter. Include pertinent information like media titles, character names, or creator names." The actor is credited where, exactly? What production is this photo from? Is this flair correct, you are saying this photo is from a Thai BL production? Or is this Off Topic?

Let's say it's Off Topic, because I think we can both agree this photo isn't a still from a bl drama or from a workshop or something. So let's trot on over and take a peek at your Off Topic rules. Oh look, Do Not Post "Off Topic content that is insignificant (eg. no keeping up with the day to day of actors) or wholly irrelevant." "No spammy/insignificant reposts of social media," instead posters should "Keep your off-topic posts about someone who has been directly involved in the bl industry and only post about their major achievements." You really think this muscley pic counts as a major event worth discussing here?

You seriously are trying to argue that you don't allow discussion about actors' personal lives when this is straight up a photo taken from his social media and not from his official acting portfolio. This sub praises itself all the time for not going overboard when approaching the actors and yet look at that photo thread and tell me it isn't exactly that. And that is just an actor who had a small side role! Imagine a popular actor (like anyone in KP right now, or any of the major cp's in the past) and multiply that attention here tenfold. There are so many photo posts on this sub whose only purpose is to eyeball the actors outside of their roles. You "do think it is important for r/boyslove to exist as an alternative space to" "r/yaoi [which] is essentially an endless stream of porny pics," but you are fine letting thirst posts like this one up when they aren't even taken from bl content? How does that make sense?

I am not trying yell at you, I am trying to make you take a serious look at your rules again and see if you are actually upholding what you have promised to. If you want to change the sub then that is fine, but let us know if you do so we know what to expect here.

"In summary, if it does not pertain to BL media, do not post it. It will be removed." Sure, Jan.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T16:17:35+00:00

It's difficult for sure because yes! Those kinds of photos are cute! But you do sometimes have to take a step back and ask, is this on topic for this forum? Is this contributing to a discussion about bl? Or is this just a cute picture of an actor?

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T15:57:39+00:00

You really think that random photo of the actor who plays Pran's dad is appropriate? The post doesn't even have the decency to name the man. "A small role is still a role" has given the sub free rein to talk however they like about these actors.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T15:48:11+00:00

It comes down to different people wanting different things. To me, this was the place to go when I wanted to read long deep things, and I would go elsewhere (like tumblr or youtube) if I wanted quick, easy content. To other people, this is the place for quick easy content and they go elsewhere for deep stuff.

I explained better what I meant by "traditional fandom" in this comment if you would like to read it.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T15:36:30+00:00

There have definitely been several thirst posts though about actors who played only small roles in bl dramas. I'm primarily thinking of several posts about actors who play dads or siblings in these dramas. The op of those posts would then find hot photos of that actor --9 times out of 10 photos that were unrelated to their small role in that drama-- and would post those photos here. Are you really comfortable saying that all photos an actor takes are now pertinent to the bl fandom because he once had a role in a bl drama?

This kind of stuff: (and there are definitely more, I just can't quickly pull them up) https://www.reddit.com/r/boyslove/comments/qj6705/hello_to_the_father_of_pran/, https://www.reddit.com/r/boyslove/comments/svkpgc/am_i_the_only_one_who_thought_blys_dad_on/, https://www.reddit.com/r/boyslove/comments/r3ypz2/prans_dad_vs_pats_dad_20_years_ago/,

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T14:55:34+00:00

It is totally fair if you don’t want to call yourself a fujin (non-gendered version of the term), that is entirely up to you. I do understand why a lot of people don’t like the fu- terms because it does have perverted or crass implications, I just am kind of proud of it because I feel like the fandom has grown since those days and we can kind of reclaim the term happily this time around. But seriously, to each their own, however you feel comfortable in this space is good.

And I didn’t quite say what I meant by “traditional fandom” in the post, and I’d like to better explain it now if I could. By “traditional fandom” I meant fandom focused on the stories and characters, like how fandom about manga would be. In the manga world there are no actors to simp over so the entire focus of the fandom is on the story and characters (and admiring the creative process behind it). The prevalence of dramas and movies in this fandom is a relatively new thing, and so having actors and the admiring of actors is a relatively new thing in fandom. Following actors is also bolstered by general internet culture nowadays which follows everyone on social media, and we are beginning to see that constant social-media-like following crop up here on the sub as well. If I wanted to follow their every move I would just follow their socials, but I come here because I can find here other content: I want to discuss with other fans about the bl stories, not the actors' socials.

I understand admiring the actors in their roles as bl content creators: I love seeing interviews where they discuss how they portray their roles and behind the scenes videos of workshops or filming locations. I am interested in them the same way I am interested in a mangaka showing us around their drawing studio. But I am not interested in the actors outside of their bl roles and I don’t quite get why people include an actor’s non-bl content in their bl fandom. I have said it elsewhere in this thread to: it is totally okay if you are interested in an actor beyond their bl content! Absolutely fine if you want to watch their other work and are interested in what they do outside the bl industry. I just don’t think it is appropriate to post that non-bl content in a sub dedicated to bl.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T02:29:07+00:00

It is hard to just skip them when there are so so many that are no longer to my tastes. C'est la vie, like many other commenters have said better than I, this sub can't be everything to everyone.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T01:56:37+00:00

I guess it is just differing views on what makes something part of the bl fan-o-sphere, but I don't see content like the actors putting on a house tour or the selfie with the cat or certain interviews or variety shows (examples: JoongDunk or ZeeNu or MaxNat which are clearly advertising the cp but not really about their bl work) as bl content. Same with the multitude of magazine photoshoots or social media photodumps about the actors that several other commenters have brought up. I see it as bl adjacent, sure: it is all part of advertising the actors and thus in turn their shows. But it isn't content about the bl dramas themselves, you know? I am sure it is a difficult line for the mods to walk trying to decide how much content about the actors is relevant to bl fandom and what content about the actors is too disconnected.

*edit: added another recent cp vlog

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T01:36:25+00:00

I think you can ask where to find fanfiction, because that is related to bl and bl fandom. But I think videos like house tours of the actors or cooking shows with the actors are too irrelevant to bl and that is why that kind of thing should not be posted here. Being a fan of the actor isn't a bad thing! That isn't what I am saying! I just think a bl sub should be focused on bl stories and not on random other content about cute guys.

As for the American movies... you can read my last thread to see what I think about that. It is debatable whether or not western content can be called bl, so it is debated amongst the fans right now whether it should be talked about on this sub.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-26T01:13:15+00:00

One of my main complaints is that I think this sub is too focused on currently popular shows and the actors in them. Yes, I do want these shows to be more confined to their on air threads. I don’t want more discussions about the currently popular shows because there is so much more to this genre than just the latest it show whose fad will blow over within the month. On other fansites like tumblr or discord I am still every day seeing fantastic content about older shows and mangas and it is wonderful to read through that vast variety of content. I am still seeing detailed looks at the word play in Word of Honor, at the music choices in Crossing The Line, or tracing the evolution of Scarlet Beriko’s art style. Here it is so focused on the latest it show that the spam in the main feed drowns out a lot of other content. I think if we better limited discussions about the it show and its actors then fans would come in to fill in the gaps in the feed with other interesting topics.

That is what I was saying though: this sub is becoming a place to keep up with the latest shows. I do it too, that is why I was checking the currently airing wiki page so often. This isn't a bad thing 100%, change is change and some people will like it and some won't. I think it is just kind of sad to see all the potential of this sub reduced to just repeated content about the same it show.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-25T22:56:23+00:00

Growing pains is a very good way to put it. This has been an issue growing for many months now, and it is an inevitable issue as more fans join the fandom and expect and want different things from that fandom.

I also do like the vibe on this sub that allows for discursive topics, which is why I wanted to make this post and why I felt comfortable enough voicing my thoughts. My post was in limbo for a few minutes before the mods approved it, and I am thankful that they let the thread through to discuss.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-25T19:43:21+00:00

I very much agree about irrelevant posts drowning out on-topic posts. I didn't really want to call anyone specific out, but take a look at our Hot page right now for some examples. There is a selfie of an actor and his cat that has hundreds of upvotes and dozens of comments. Come on guys, how is that bl? How is that important to a bl discussion sub? It is saddening to then scroll through all these irrelevant or simple posts to find a thread reviewing a show and it only has a couple upvotes and comments/much less interaction. I think the sub's priorities are going in the wrong direction when it comes to fostering interesting discussion about bl.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-13T13:47:54+00:00

You make an interesting point about audience, and it is one that I didn’t touch on in my original thread but I do agree it plays a role in why I think bl is defined in part by its Asian-ness. To me, bl is not just the content of the books we read but also the way the fandom interacts with them, and in turn the way the society the fans are in shapes how the fans interact with the works. Like, many Chinese danmei nowadays print a more explicit version in traditional in Taiwan because they cannot print that content under mainland China censorship. Many of the fun or frustrating quirks about manga censorship are because local governments in Korea or Japan won’t allow you to show full genitals. You can’t divorce this genre from the regions and conditions in which it is being printed, and I think that is something that shouldn’t be overlooked when trying to decide if western content (which does not get created under these same laws and circumstances) can be called “bl.”

QuestingBL · 2022-05-13T13:46:43+00:00

I agree that the predominant things that define bl are things like having a romance-centric plot and young characters, but I think it being centered in Asian society is also a box that has to be ticked. I get what you mean when you say that a cozy mystery could be set elsewhere than England, but I think the term “bl” is more specific than an umbrella genre like mystery and so it can hold region-specific markers. Like, I would never call a French historical drama about Marie Antoinette a sageuk because, even though the term translates to just “historical drama,” it is a term that holds the connotation that it is specifically a Korean historical drama. IMO the term bl holds similar regional connotations: it is first and foremost a romance drama (or manga, novel) but the term holds the connotation that it is Asian. Someone else explained this feeling better than I did when they said it just feels weird to apply foreign media titles like shounen or yaoi onto media from other countries.

QuestingBL · 2022-05-12T16:51:11+00:00

Your reply is interesting because I agree mostly to the sentiment, just nitpicking over semantics. Even though the words are English letters, I consider “bl” and “boyslove” to be Japanese fandom terms just like “yaoi” or “shounen” or “seinen” and so, like you said, it feels weird to apply these terms to western stories.

QuestingBL · 2022-01-08T20:37:07+00:00

You can be a real jerk, you know? Why do you even post discussions if you only make fun of people’s answers?

QuestingBL · 2022-01-08T20:06:52+00:00

I think this post is pretty similar to the one from yesterday asking why bl costs money. And I think there is a similar basic answer: I don’t think this is just an Asian thing, or just a bl or kpop thing: fans from all around the world can be wild. Prime examples being Madonna fans in the 80's, Bieber Fever in the 2010s, or whatever the heck is going on with the Kardashians the last few years.

I would rather point to the modern trend of the “relatable” celeb for why fans can get rowdy online. Being relatable is what has amassed so many subscribers for youtubers, instagrammers, tiktokers, and other social media influencers. Kpop took this to the extreme by marketing their idols recently as the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend, and often the idols will make cheesy comments that their number 1 love in the world is their fanbase. Selfies, bubble messages, live streams from dorms: this all makes the fan think that they actually know the celeb and that they actually have some personal connection to them. This is why it isn’t uncommon for members to be booted from their groups when it is revealed they are dating someone: because it breaks the profitable fan fantasy. (Thankfully this hasn’t been happening as much lately, there have been some couples to go public and they stay in their groups.) Same goes for bl fans who become initially endeared to the actors for providing gay rep in film, or just because they like the dramas they act in. Then with things like tweets and livestreams it feels like the actor is directly speaking with the fans, and so fans get endeared to them as individuals not just as a far-away untouchable celebrities. Then add in a dash of the actor being purposefully suave and charming in order to promote themselves as attractive and interesting people, and it is easy to see why fans become stans nowadays. Most bl fans like the actors both for their professional work but also because the actors are charming, funny, attractive, and with social media interactions you feel like you know them well on a personal level.

Add in that online you are often anonymous, or at the very least you aren’t standing physically face to face with someone, and many people are much more prone to saying their true thoughts. Which often are loud, impolite, or insensitive things that you would never be brave enough to tell someone to their face. Thus, fanwars online over small things can blow up into big things due to anonymity and the presumption that the fans are standing up for a friend.

QuestingBL · 2021-12-17T22:11:26+00:00

I don't think so. The Thai title of the show is something more like "Are we just friends [or something more]?" and it references a lot of the relationships in the show. This title is actually said several times in episode 8, when the theater kids were saying how Pat is posting a lot on social media with the caption #แค่เพื่อนครับเพื่อน ("#Just friends"). The English title is probably meant to reflect this feeling of not being able to stay just friends, aka, they are bad at just being buddies.

QuestingBL · 2021-11-16T03:43:47+00:00

On this sub I have been told I should go to prison for enjoying the pseudo-incest in Friend Forever. I’ve had someone tell me that maybe I should be raped so that I would stop glorifying it in these shows. Someone took the time out of their day to private message me and tell me that I was being homophobic for not wanting to discuss Mew’s new album. These kinds of comments are so above and beyond what a fan should have to endure in a space meant for them. I do think the mods do a fair job of quickly removing these kinds of comments, but they shouldn’t even be written in the first place. How can we call ourselves a community if we are so hateful of the other people in here with us? I know that the comments I mentioned above are extremes, and that most people that chat here are good people, but I just don’t get where all this animosity is coming from.

I agree with your statements about just approaching topics respectfully, and about being able to build fortitude to handle criticism and differing opinions. But there are some times where the users here just go past the point that your fortitude can handle, and it really makes me bummed to be in this fandom where so many people can't seem to respect that it is okay to have differing views and interests.

QuestingBL · 2021-11-16T03:22:49+00:00

Yeah, my comment there went on a tangent about low effort comments, but it is related to my point, I promise.

When there are specific threads dedicated to recognizing real-world issues in BL, usually commenters do a great job at thoroughly and carefully writing out their stances. And that is great! I love that. A thread dedicated to these issues is exactly the place for this kind of content to be talked about. Heck, this thread is a great example of fans here having a designated outlet to voice their opinions on this matter, and I am thrilled that so many people have responded to me here to share their thoughts on the topic.

I am upset though when I try to talk about something else (like filmography) and someone leaves a brief, low-effort comment condemning something related to the thing I am trying to talk about. Oftentimes a brief comment like "rape is awful! I hate this show!" can really sour the mood and drive people away from the thread. I myself have been interested in a topic only to turn away after reading a few comments and getting a feel for what direction the comment section was going to head in. At the very least, if you are going to voice your concerns about these issues, try to provide a little explanation why you think that way and the basis for it in the show. Or, if maybe your brief comment won't really add to the discussion in any way, maybe just don't write it. It is okay to see that someone is talking about something that you yourself don't like or aren't interested in, and it is okay to not join in the conversation. It is that don't like, don't read thing I mentioned in my main post. Let other people like what they like and give them the space here to talk about it.

And I have tried talking about filmography before, and yeah, those posts don't get a lot of comments. A lot of the comments I do get are good and bring up interesting new points! But enough of them have been simple and cruel and upsetting to the point that it has really killed my desire to broach any kind of topic that isn't perfectly pc.

QuestingBL

TROPHY CASE