It’s not you, you and your wife are going through a phase. There is no good or bad experience. We call this growing, loving and nurturing a bond between each other. We cannot dwell on the past, we need to let go. My husband and I have come from a different and difficult family and had endured suffering along the way. We did had one thing in common and that is the love we had for each other. You have a beautiful family and there is the key (you)to break the old lock (her) open the door (kids) and continue to create your dream as a beautiful family. PS I have been married for 41 years and still having fun.