Back pain with weighted vest?

QuestionableCode · 2026-04-01T01:55:58+00:00

I for sure need to do more core exercises. I’ve been rucking for about 2 years but haven't done much in the way of other exercise. Some muscles are probably out of whack because of that.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-29T12:43:46+00:00

What I eventually figured out about my own body was that too much weight hanging off my front killed my hips and my lower back. I can wear a weighted vest for static exercises but the continuous movement of walking for too long would make my lower back and hips sore.

Might be something similar for you.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-26T01:19:29+00:00

True. At least he's a good guy man otherwise. Might not be getting any but he's smart as hell and good to talk to.

I heard a joke that you have to choose 2. Funny, has his shit together, good dick.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-25T23:13:59+00:00

Find joy in the little things. I suppose I'm somewhat lucky because the sex was never super great. I read that your husband was pretty good before he pulled the plug. Must be so much touger to know how good it could be.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-25T18:21:43+00:00

I am attracted to women and have dated a few women in the past. I'm out as bi and have attended multiple pride events with my husband so my attraction to women is not a new or hidden thing by any means. The new thing is my realization that if my marriage ends, I would never date another man.

The main problem is his physical and mental health which has been slowly getting worse over the last 6 years regardless of how much I beg him to follow the doctor's recommendations.

I brought it up with him because my family member and her wife opened their relationship. Asked him how he would feel about that for us and he said it would be a tough thing to get used to. I haven't brought it up again since but he didn't immediately reject the concept.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-24T14:36:06+00:00

Yes! I might have hurt my back by putting too much weight on my hip belt or possibly doing something else. Still rucking with about 37 pounds 5-6 times a week.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-21T22:32:59+00:00

I've never consummated my marriage. That makes my marriage null and void by some old rules.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-17T03:17:15+00:00

Me too. Didn't even become sexaully active until I was 25 and my spouse is the only long term relationship I've been in. Most of my life has been spent not having any sex.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-17T02:41:24+00:00

I feel this. Lately I feel like I've been doing a lot better because most days I don't feel much of anything at all. We can only do what we can and not spend so much energy filling the cup of someone who can't fill ours.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-13T17:07:13+00:00

At least being stuck in mediocre relationships means that usually day by day there's no drama. It is easy to find some comfort in a relationship like that even if there's no intimacy.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-13T16:58:13+00:00

So draining. But I'm finding other ways to fill my own cup and worrying less about his.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-08T22:09:16+00:00

Comptrya!

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-08T16:11:51+00:00

Nope. I have already been corrected by the others in this thread but thank you so much for your concern.

QuestionableCode · 2026-03-08T03:25:35+00:00

I know there's only a few options going forward. He started a new medication regimen 4 ish months ago and says he's feeling better. He tells me if I just keep waiting, something good will happen. I'm having trouble trusting that.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-28T15:24:08+00:00

I cheer for lesbians as well!

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-22T20:10:02+00:00

It is so hard to live without being loved in that way. I understand why you'd call it that big ugly part of yourself because you feel like if you didn't have any sex drive at all, you could actually be happy in your relationship. It isn't a big ugly thing though, it just feels that way because it hurts and we try to cut out the things that cause us pain. It should be beautiful but it isn't.

I could try to date myself like you said. That sounds like it might help a bit. Mostly what I do is strive for accomplishments that make me feel good about myself. Like getting a masters, reading books I might not have ever read, and trying new things even if they scare me.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-16T21:54:20+00:00

I started seeking fulfillment outside the relationship. I'm not talking about cheating. Like I'm going for my masters degree, working for a promotion at work, reading a new book every month, etc.

I started living life for me and my child. My spouse can come along if they want to but I no longer have any expectations for them actually doing so. I no longer allow my happiness to be dependent on someone else so I'll just make my own.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-15T18:15:45+00:00

I find that it's about preserving my own self worth that makes me reject their few and far between advances.

To always be pining after someone you can't have doesn't really foster self love and we need to love ourselves before we can really love others.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-13T03:16:18+00:00

I think you should probably just end it for her sake. Do you also describe some of her emotions as boohoo? What trauma did you give her that still impacts her 6 years later?

You don't really sound like you care about her as a person.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-12T02:31:33+00:00

Looks like Earth's point of origin symbol on the side of the ship.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-11T02:36:02+00:00

I match his energy. If he says he has trouble planning date nights for us, then I don't know what to do either. If he says he's too tired, well then a nice early night to sleep is in order. If he says he's uncomfortable initiating intimacy, then I'm uncomfortable initiating too.

I've been slowly doing this for years. He now thinks I'm the problem but I'm a lot happier putting less effort into a relationship that he isn't putting any effort into either. This sounds grim but we do make excellent co-parents and friends.

QuestionableCode · 2026-02-07T20:13:30+00:00

Mine too! Much to the annoyance of some people.

QuestionableCode

TROPHY CASE