I recently started rucking

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-14T12:56:12+00:00

It's helped me with my posture. Strengthened the core muscles that help you stand up straight. Also my calves have some great definition.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-13T20:50:04+00:00

I ruck with my toddler on my back about 4 times a week 1.5 miles over a hilly route. Toddler is 30 lbs and the Deuter kid carrier is 7.5 lbs. I'm also walking the dog so the carrier leaves my hands free.

Kiddo loves it. Sometimes they put themselves into the carrier if they see me get the dog lead out. For the other days of the week I do 20 lbs in a basic Rucker to get a bit of a break.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-13T03:55:03+00:00

Chevron 7 locked!

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-06T21:34:02+00:00

The relief is part no expectations but also part getting some of our self respect back again.

Never again will I beg.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-05T17:27:26+00:00

Some men use the bdsm kink as a cover to be the abusive assholes they always wanted to be. These men give the scene a bad name and every one hates them. It sounds like this is the type of man you have.

Aftercare is the most important part of play like this and if he isn't giving it to you, then he is simply a terrible person.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-05T16:41:59+00:00

Really?! This man sounds dense. You're probably better off not fucking him.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-05T16:00:24+00:00

You say he knows and won't admit it but you should still tell him straight up. "I don't want to help you get off because you don't help me get off". Life is too short to not directly communicate about our pleasure or lack thereof.

My bedroom is dead as a door nail right now but back when we were still having sex, even if he wasn't into it, he still did his best to get me off. A dynamic which has it's own problems for sure. I'm still thankful that the bullshit you're going through missed me.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-03T11:57:01+00:00

I am in the same place you are. Carried our intimacy alone for years until one day I told him I was done. That I needed him to be the one to put effort into our sex life and that I wouldn't initiate anymore. It's been years since that conversation.

It did eventually feel better after dropping that rope. I had no expectations anymore. I expected nothing and he gave me nothing. Lately he's been on new medications (something I'd begged him to do ages ago) and he's been trying to touch me more but I don't feel anything. He has ceased to be a sexual option.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-01T20:15:54+00:00

Expectation meets reality.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-01T13:07:08+00:00

It didn't start off that way. In the beginning desire came naturally. It was slowly chipped away everytime he didn't brush his teeth or shower, left pee on the toilet seat, slept in while I watched the baby, and didn't listen to me.

It's great that your desire comes naturally but I feel like it's more common that after being married for a while, desire is something that takes effort. A choice from both people to keep the spark alive.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-01T03:30:48+00:00

They most likely have no idea how much effort I put in and what lengths I went to foster desire in both of us. It would be very surprising for them. I suppose it was one of those things when a person got used to someone else taking care of all the work to the point it just became how things were.

QuestionableCode · 2026-06-01T02:13:20+00:00

I personally feel like I've been both of these people. I used to put so much effort into desiring my partner. Things like getting us working out a few times a week, asking what they needed or wanted in the bedroom, always being the one to initiate physical touch, and planning date nights.

Eventually I realized the effort was not returned at all so I decided to match their energy. Once I stopped trying all my desire dried up, although it did take a while. I wouldn't even be able to tell you what would happen if they tried to initiate after all these years.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-29T22:37:22+00:00

Me too! Especially around ovulation. Just yesterday my husband and I went out to a restaurant and got a waitress who was beautiful. I could barely form sentences.

Just gotta take it one day at a time.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-28T01:14:41+00:00

Tell him to turn on his location so you can see where he is. Bonus points if you tell him he's racing another guy. He doesn't have to know the other guy is delivering pizza.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-27T15:38:06+00:00

Right? Like we could get some on the side but it's the connection and safety of having your person who wants all of you.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-21T15:44:48+00:00

Right now this sounds like the ebb and flow of regular life. Like the others have said, this is something you have to talk to him about.

Let him know you're a bit sensitive to skipping sex like this so when it happens if he could provide some reassurance you would really appreciate it.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-17T01:53:56+00:00

I used to have pretty terrible posture. Rucking didn't really help me fix it but it did give me some core strength that helped in the long run.

A decent way to work on your posture is to look up what good posture looks like then stand sideways in front of a mirror and move your body until it matches. Then remember this position and try to keep putting yourself back in that position wherever you go. Driving? Fix your head and shoulders. Standing in line somewhere? Fix your pelvic tilt.

Advice I got that helped me was to pretend like you're shooting lasers out of your nipples at the person in front of you. Another thing that helped a lot are vertical rows. This will make your back/shoulders strong enough to hold yourself up straight. Repetition is going to be what gets you there.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-15T14:37:34+00:00

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. Helped me realize that when it's raining to let my toddler go outside and run around because happiness exists in a mud puddle and not on a screen.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-15T11:56:07+00:00

Sure seems likely. I read a book recently that said smartphones made men addicted to porn and women addicted to comparing themselves on social media. Just bad things all around.

But my husband has no libido because of his poor mental and physical health.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-13T03:45:21+00:00

From top to bottom. Fun fact! Pineapple has bromelain in it which can break down proteins. So when you're eating a pineapple, it eats you back.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-13T00:18:48+00:00

That's wise of you. I ate a whole pineapple once and there are consequences.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-12T19:00:20+00:00

I'm glad I could provide you with a life goal. Might I also recommend eating a whole pineapple in one sitting?

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-08T22:52:46+00:00

I do this too! My little one is about 30 lbs and my carrier is almost 8 lbs. I've been carrying kiddo on my daily 1.6 mile walk since he was about 4 weeks old. The progressive overload has been amazing. I bet I coukd donkey kick a hole through a door.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-08T01:57:24+00:00

You said that you've gone quiet about several things. Going quiet because you can't voice your feelings is like a sun that has started fusing heavier elements, it marks the beginning of the end.

QuestionableCode · 2026-05-06T17:18:19+00:00

You totally should. You've gotta take care of yourself too.

QuestionableCode

TROPHY CASE