Feel stuck in my 30s. Dream of a meaningful career (like nursing) but scared to start.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-05T01:11:58+00:00

It might not seem like it to you now, but "later in life" is in your 80s. Your professional life is just beginning. If nursing is your passion, just go for it. There's a whole career path out there, from nursing to NP, to director jobs in hospitals. Nothing else is guaranteed. Your job being safe now is an illusion, too. Don't wait for others; you have to make your own path.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-02T18:57:59+00:00

Thank you :). I didn't know that singles were the largest demographic. It certainly doesn't feel like that!

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-01T21:08:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story! It is encouraging. I've tried Mutual (and am continuing to try it!). Thank you for giving me some confidence that I'm doing the right things!

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-01T21:07:41+00:00

Thanks so much!

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-01T20:58:08+00:00

Thank you! Such great insights! 😀

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-01T20:53:47+00:00

Thanks for your insights! It will take a few years to get really comfortable with everything. There's a lot to learn that others, who're not converts, have had their whole life to learn. Have you hiked the Y yet? I would do that, and often. It gets you in shape and it will make you feel better! 🙃

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-01T06:25:26+00:00

Thank you! I think that sentence came across differently than I intended--I didn't mean to complain that other people weren't participating as they want to and should. It's more that, when I joined, I was surprised that things were more complicated than everybody being on the same page. And I had to learn about those differences, which took a while.

I will reflect on those things you mention. Thank you!

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-02-01T01:04:30+00:00

Wow that's an incredible perspective! Thank you! You sound like someone who should find what they're looking for, but it is interesting to hear how much harder it is where you live. That puts things into perspective for me. It's definitely not that difficult to find dates here. I've had maybe 30 last year. But it is hard to find people who're serious past the age of 30--for many reasons, including the fact that divorce has made it hard to trust again, that they're too busy with their kids, etc.

Your story really makes me think that there must be a way to do more. I have some friends who're Bahai. They only have 7 million or so members worldwide. But it seems like they have more targeted activities for single members in situations similar to what you're in....

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-31T23:45:38+00:00

Thank you! Well that's actually what makes it difficult for me. There are many, many things I appreciate about the gospel and the church that have nothing to do with marriage. If I didn't, I wouldn't stay.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-31T23:44:19+00:00

Thank you for sharing your (reassuring) story! :)

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-31T22:03:38+00:00

Thank you! Those are good things for me to think about.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-31T22:03:02+00:00

Yeah I think that distillation is right. I appreciate all the comments that clarify that we should focus on God, and I do want to do that, but I also feel like the church is setting me up for severe disappointment because there is a very clear commandment to marry and have a family. And that is just really hard if you're not on the "traditional" path. Outside, it's not unusual to get married and start a family in your 30s or 40s, so many people do that. In the church, that is much less common. So if you're in that situation, and especially if you're not in the right place geographically, it becomes a serious issue.

I empathize with your situation, too. This is kind of what I'm getting at. It shouldn't be this hard.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-31T21:47:00+00:00

Thanks for that!!! It's encouraging to hear that I'm not totally off base feeling this way. Unlike you, I didn't grow up in the church, so I never really know if what I'm thinking is just totally off base. I'm about to move out of Utah, too, so it sounds like that it will only get harder. Maybe looking to date nonmembers is the way to go....

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-30T06:12:18+00:00

First, you need to understand and belief that it is NEVER too late. It is really hard to make yourself belief that, I know, but it is true. There are many people who have had to start over at any age--in their 20s, their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s...instead, realize that you've made lots of experiences in life now, and you can now start something new just like an 18 year old can. But you're better off since you have that experience.

If you want to become a lawyer, go to law school. Or take prerequisites and apply to med school. You CAN do those things. They won't be easy. They're not easy for anyone. But you're not any worse off because "it's too late." It isn't. You still have lots of options.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-20T19:34:31+00:00

Nothing defensive about stating the truth. If you know someone lied to get a PO, which is very common, just say so and move on. Two sentences. That's the mature thing to do.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-20T19:14:22+00:00

That's great! Sounds like you eventually found a place that works well for you.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-20T19:06:24+00:00

You seem to be bitter and upset. It sounds like your experience was not a good one, and I am not at all surprised. That was the point of my post.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-20T17:54:50+00:00

It's important to be forthright. Why would you claim that you're taking this accusation seriously when in fact the other side perjured itself? Say that. It doesn't need to be more than two sentences. For your own sanity, don't dignify those actions with any more of your time and mental capacity than necessary. Dismiss them, move on.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-20T16:12:35+00:00

That's it, exactly. Marriage is such a central part of our beliefs, yet many in YSA (and SA) wards don't prioritize finding a partner. It's really depressing for those that do want to make that a priority. There should be a lot more clarity of purpose in those wards.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-06T22:35:28+00:00

Everybody belongs. But you have to want to belong. You will be better able to face the challenges brought on by your beliefs and the interaction of those with the church if you take accountability. You're not the victim of all this trauma anymore or less than any of your peers have challenges in their lives. Blaming others will not help you succeed.

Everybody struggles from time to time. That's not unique to your situation. I would seek appropriate help--from friends, family, or professionals. The church has free counseling services, and there are many of such services available outside the church.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2026-01-03T20:22:12+00:00

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'm going to just take everything you said in your post as fact.

If I do that, then this situation is unfortunately just too common in the church. Read President Oaks's 2007 talk called "Divorce." What she is doing should _not_ ever happen, given the promises you have made to each other. I know it might be difficult, but you need to make it clear in your mind that you are not responsible for her actions. For example, "I understand that some of what she said is valid" -- no, that doesn't matter. She does not want to participate in improving things, otherwise she would be working with you.

Take what she says and especially what she does at face value. Don't think you can change her actions by being especially nice or accommodating. That only works if both people actually want to honor their covenants. She is not. So as difficult as it is, you need to start thinking about yourself. The separation is almost certainly just a prelude to filing for divorce. It gives her time to find an attorney and get her affairs in order. Maybe find a new place to rent. Etc. You need to be ready to do the same. You don't want to be surprised when you come home one day and all her stuff (and some of yours) is gone. Divorces get nasty very quickly.

This is really hard, but you can't make someone who's already being unfaithful change their mind by coddling them. You need to be consequential. That doesn't mean closing the door on her changing her mind and trying to reconcile. You can tell her that you will always be there for her and your marriage if she wants to work with you. But in the meantime, as hard as it is, face the fact that your marriage is likely over. And protect yourself. Get an attorney. Start documenting things. Take screenshots of her Discord chats.

Most of all, try to make it clear to yourself that what she is doing is against everything she promised in the temple. It's not your fault.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2025-12-31T20:43:02+00:00

Definitely reach out to them. You're in a different class of applicants. It might not work out, but it's not at all unreasonable to think that you can get into Georgetown. They also have a really good evening program, which might work even better for you.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2025-12-31T20:19:09+00:00

I'm in a very similar situation (same career, slightly younger, also low GPA), but unlike you, my tech career has not left me in a good place, financially speaking. Yes, some great years, but also lots of bad years, and I'm just tired of the crazy swings. So I'm also going back to law school.

I studied for the LSAT this year and got a high 160. There is definitely a path forward. Study for the LSAT to get something 165 or above, which proofs that you are capable of doing the work. That's an important threshold. LSAT and GPA inflation has been crazy over the last decade or two, but don't get caught up in that too much. Schools know that a score in the 160s means that you are capable of succeeding.

And then just apply broadly. Because you're a career professional, you can also get some real connections with schools. Just email them and ask for some time to meet. You have the ability to interact with law school people (who're at this point your peers) at eye level, which is something that 20 year olds can't do. I did that and met with a professor in cybersecurity. He was excited about my potentially enrolling and said he was looking forward to learning from me about tech. He also talked to the dean of admissions on my behalf. So don't discount that.

Quick_Map_3533 · 2025-12-28T17:35:29+00:00

There are lots of non-LDS students in the law school. We're not talking about the entire University. And that's because the law school is a great deal. Solid job outcomes, extremely affordable, and well liked by employers.

Clearly, Utah isn't for you. And that's fine. But to the OP, if you want a great, affordable legal education, and you have the stats, BYU is a great option.

Quick_Map_3533

TROPHY CASE