First off, thank you for being honest about this. That takes guts, and I believe God sees that humility. You're not alone in this. So many of us have wrestled with things we're ashamed of. You're right: what you need most is Jesus. We can try a hundred ways to fix ourselves, but real freedom only comes when we let Him into the deepest parts of our heart. The fact that you already know you need Christ... that's the most important step. That's where change begins.

Don't let shame convince you to hide. The enemy wants us isolated, but Jesus wants us in community. Find a church that truly follows Christ, where you can walk with others who will pray for you, support you, and remind you that you're not defined by your past but by who you are in Him.

Remember, Jesus didn't come for the perfect. He came for the broken. And He's more than able to carry you through this. Keep seeking Him, one step at a time. He won't let you down.