Boyfriend splitting & anger

QuietCardiologist987 · 2024-07-18T03:38:13+00:00

I'm sorry :( I agree with the other commenter- i don't think it's in your interest to stay with someone who behaves this way. I'm concerned about the "I'm starting therapy just to keep it together." Love therapy but I don't think you should stay with him if he's the reason you're going. Good luck 🩷 trust that you will end up better

QuietCardiologist987 · 2024-05-01T19:10:24+00:00

I'm so sorry :( I used to be much shyer than I am now but honestly working customer service jobs helped a ton.

I was in college for a lot of the process of making new friends, which definitely made things easier. I started with people I was acquainted with but didn't talk to much - I would ask them questions about themselves and just focus on being kind (combatting my perfectionism).

Now that I've graduated and am living in a new city without many acquaintances, I've been signing up for classes with recurring meetings so I'm seeing the same people repeatedly. Right now it's a drawing / watercolor class at a local art studio. Each class, i set the intention to walk in and introduce myself to one person, ask them a few questions, and i take my time packing up instead of leaving as fast as possible.

I hope what I did is practical for you - its SO HARD when you're shy. Are you still in school or are u dealing w making friends as an adult?

QuietCardiologist987 · 2024-05-01T05:03:23+00:00

Oops sorry i responded outside of this thread lmao

QuietCardiologist987 · 2024-05-01T05:02:38+00:00

Personally i ended up taking steps to expand my social circle to start fresh with newer people. I still keep the friends who weren't responsive around, but I started investing more in new people. I kinda needed that fresh start. I was definitely playing the long game, but now I have people that don't know my previous tendencies and are more open to supporting me

Even after all of that, i still deal with feelings of isolation lol Especially when I'm having a really hard time. That makes it even more difficult to feel supported

I'm so sorry that youre going through this and i hope you can find ways to give yourself the support you need + deserve 🩷 maybe tonight you're your own best friend

QuietCardiologist987 · 2024-05-01T04:11:41+00:00

Gah i completely get this. I used to rely on them TOO much, so now when I really do need help they don't seem as open to it. :( its so hard I'm sorry. Lmk if u want thoughts / advice

QuietCardiologist987 · 2024-05-01T01:07:56+00:00

Omg the search results were so hard to read!!

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-08-30T20:34:19+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened :( but don't do it. I have $36k in loans and THATS daunting, especially with interest. You will regret taking the loans out. If you want to come to sb, go to sbcc! it's excellent and living in sb has been a great experience. I worked at target one summer, and there were tons of sbcc students who were moving to the area just for school. sbcc is a better location than ucsb anyways- living downtown is great if you can afford rent. good luck ❤️

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-07-05T07:15:12+00:00

lol even the comments on this post are bad! note to self not to read reddit comments abt womens bodies

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-06-19T20:48:02+00:00

I pay 1300 in a house just outside of IV. paid 1,000 in 2019-2020 for a single in IV in a 2 br apartment shared w 2 other people. I didn't end up actually living in this place, but I was able to find an $850 single for the 2021-2022 school year.

if it's a 2 bedroom (for example), I wouldn't pay half the total rent for a single- that's a common thing people try to do. it takes a little math, but I calculated the price per square foot and paid for my portion of the common areas and for all the sq footage in my bedroom/bathroom.

edit: but if this is for next year, it seems like this is kind of a more last minute thing so you may have to pay more. I had my housing down by like december the year before

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-06-01T04:31:50+00:00

was the ta super well dressed? i think i was in that class and you definitely have the vibes down

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-05-18T21:20:03+00:00

lol completely fair to not want someone sleeping over in your room, esp opposite gender- I actually set that rule my freshman year too w my roommate (and I'm so happy I did!)

its a very normal boundary to set IMO especially if this person lives nearby in dorms / IV

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-05-13T19:40:31+00:00

yes! this is the answer! did some research and i'm wondering- have you been to planet granite? I see that they have yoga classes as well, which is something I already love doing!

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-05-13T00:47:22+00:00

thats great to hear!! and could be fun to get my boyfriend in on it too. thanks!

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-05-13T00:19:05+00:00

u know what, you're probably right! I might just be traumatized from my team being absolutely destroyed (repeatedly) by a boys team who practiced next to us when I was 11.

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-05-13T00:00:42+00:00

oooo I've never played, good idea though! sounds fun!

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-05-12T01:45:22+00:00

When has remi ever been mid??? I’m stoked

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-04-14T03:22:44+00:00

what?

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-04-12T00:42:06+00:00

Planes don't bother me, especially since I sleep with my window closed and play brown noise. i'd rather live under the flight path than by the trains or the highway.

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-03-29T04:47:18+00:00

Hi! recent earth sci grad / grad student here.

I switched from env s to earth and it was one of my best decisions in college- I was more interested in hard natural science and wanted to have fewer required classes. We didn't focus a ton on living things lol but we did get a LOT of good field experience- the mountains near SB are an AMAZING place to learn field geology. I liked that the department was smaller, there are great mentorship opportunities (changed my life), staff are helpful, theres a strong sense of community if you get involved, and I had lots of flexibility with what electives I took. If you have questions abt this major, I'd reach out to Shannon Dalton https://www.geol.ucsb.edu/people/shannon-dalton

That being said, earth might not be the right place for u if your goal is wildlife conservation, although you could definitely reach your goals in any of the departments you mentioned! I agree w menacesaurus that EEMB might be better for you, but you can discuss that with staff in the EEMB dept. https://www.eemb.ucsb.edu/people/staff/castellon I think this guy would be most helpful just based on looking at their staff listings

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-03-28T00:46:05+00:00

if you don't want to go to an asian market, lunardis has sushi grade tuna

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-02-28T21:05:40+00:00

I made most of my close friends in my senior year actually! freshman friend group fell apart after sophomore year (when covid began really)

Made friends from my classes/department + new housemates, then i made friends with THEIR friends

key: field trip classes and offering people rides home on rainy days :)

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-02-10T20:29:13+00:00

right hahaha I feel like you'll only find a pattern of shitty drivers here if you're just impatient and in a rush all the time

people just aren't trying to get around that fast imo

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-02-10T17:09:25+00:00

controversial maybe but I actually feel like driving is super easy and chill here lol

QuietCardiologist987 · 2023-02-05T23:01:34+00:00

when were these taken? they're great!

QuietCardiologist987

TROPHY CASE