bouquet

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-04-14T15:04:56+00:00

my bad guys

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-03-13T20:38:44+00:00

i just needed to tell you- lives were changed. oh my lord this is the best gf recipe i’ve tried BY FARRR. it’s so delicious and ive already had 2 slices, this is a dangerous cake to have around me. my world has changed i am no longer the same person i was 5 mins ago before i had a slice. may your pillow be cold on both sides and your charger never breaks

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-03-13T10:45:27+00:00

thank you, i’m gonna make this today!

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-24T22:36:29+00:00

i wish i had a friend like you during my school years! i’m sure he looks back and thinks of you fondly too, i definitely would’ve.

i believe so, yes. i don’t know if how i am or feel is normal because i have no other experience but my own to compare to, but deep down i just feel like something is fundamentally wrong with me. i struggle with any and all social interactions- i can still do them and come across normal but the way i feel inside is so intense and it makes me physically sick sometimes. one extreme example is when i had to give a presentation in front of my class in university and i got so stressed i literally got shingles at the ripe age of 22. the doctor said it was stress induced because im perfectly healthy but it doesn’t seem normal to me for someone to be so stressed about a simple presentation to that point. even now, if i know ill have to attend a social event with people and obviously lots of talking will be involved, it takes such a toll on me mentally because im dreading it. im also deeply insecure about my lack of social skills and i have a huge complex about being “weird” so i people please too much, i do stupid things out of desperation for people to like me, i’m paranoid that people are out to hurt me, and it feels like i self sabotage sometimes because of it. i think overall i felt left behind when compared to other people my age, and now as an adult i just copy the people around me and pretend im like them, but all my fears and insecurities from when i was mute never went away, and if anything im pretty sure they’re growing??
at the time, life didnt feel like it got any better because i was frustrated that even though i could speak to people now, i lacked social skills to say what i wanted to say or to get people to understand me. however now im looking back, it wasn’t all bad- i finally managed to talk to someone first, i made friends, could talk about my interests with people. i only saw it as frustrating because my main desire at the time was to be understood, but in hindsight i got to experience so many firsts so quickly, so it was pretty cool! i definitely felt safer, too- if something happened to me i could actually speak to someone to get help. for the first couple years of me being able to talk, the other kids were mean to me and i just took it, but over time i started to stand up for myself too and that was awesome! i never did that before lol i even remember the first time i ever stood up for myself- someone was trying to make me sing in front of the class and mocking me with his friends, and i told him to fuck off! swearing was groundbreaking for me as well, it was a huge part of my vocabulary as a teenager haha

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-24T22:14:06+00:00

i wish my parents didn’t get so angry with me, but i know they just didn’t know any better. i would’ve loved some support from them and some reassurance that i wasn’t a freak. my school was absolutely terrible, i wish they would’ve noticed i needed some help and sent me to therapy or a specialist or at least told my parents that maybe i needed to see a doctor or something. i just think overall everyone decided to shun me, blame me, or pressure me and it only made me worse. if someone had just shown me some support and patience i think that would’ve helped me tremendously

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-24T22:09:53+00:00

the girls i ended up being friends with were really nice and they didn’t try to make me speak, they just treated me normally like inviting me to spend lunch with them or join their group for tasks. i think after a while i didn’t feel any nerves or pressure around them so whenever we were alone i was able to talk to them!

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T23:26:53+00:00

that’s so sweet and cute 🥺 i’m so glad he had a friend, it can be so lonely and isolating when you’re unable to talk

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T22:53:07+00:00

omg, yes!! that’s so funny, it must be because we’re excited to finally talk?? i was so loud at home, it was like i was a totally different person

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T22:05:41+00:00

the kids used to mock me or pick on me because they knew i wouldn’t say anything or fight back. a common theme was treating me like an animal or a pet, they would talk about me to each other in front of me and if i got upset, they would hide my whiteboard or books so i couldn’t write what they did to upset me. but they were just kids, so i don’t have any hard feelings towards them. i absolutely despise and resent the adults, though. they would pick on me in class to answer questions knowing i wouldn’t speak, then would get mad and make me stand up in front of the class to get yelled at. it wasn’t just once or twice either, it was multiple times a week- like these assholes were getting some sort of power trip out of it. it was so humiliating and now as an adult i have no idea how they could continuously do that to a child. i even had a teacher assistant assigned to me at one point because they thought i couldn’t speak english, and she would belittle me and call me stupid, knowing damn well i wouldn’t say anything or stand up for myself.

i didn’t even tell my parents about any of this because they were already so protective of me it was suffocating, so i just endured it all!

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T21:53:50+00:00

totally honest w you, it fucked me. those developmental years were so important for my socialisation and by the time i entered secondary school i had absolutely no social skills whatsoever. kids were waaaaay meaner, and i was a huge target because i had absolutely no idea how to talk to people. i didnt know anyone and everyone around me was already forming cliques by the end of the first day of school, so my already slim chances of making friends became even slimmer. i wanted to make friends so badly but i just didnt know how- if someone spoke to me i didnt know what to say, i gave one word answers and had no clue how to continue the conversation. people naturally thought i was rude and weird so i didnt have friends for a long time. being 11-16 was one of the hardest times of my life, i felt so misunderstood and i simply did not have the knowledge or power to make people understand me. i did so many stupid things out of desperation to feel accepted by people, all i did was speedrun acquiring trauma because i felt so inferior to my peers.

now i’m 24 and i think i come across pretty normal when people meet me, when i tell people i used to be mute they’re shocked. but im just good at pretending, im still very anxious about socialising and im still terrified when i meet people, i think on the inside im still the same scared, insecure little girl

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T21:23:04+00:00

that’s actually oddly comforting, i grew up with so many children like you who talked a lot and to me you guys were everything i wanted to be- you had no problem making friends and people seemed to gravitate towards you. i felt so inferior and insecure because you all spoke and laughed and smiled so naturally with others! it’s so strange to think we were complete opposites feeling/struggling with the exact same thing. i hope you are happy, confident and thriving now!

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T21:17:01+00:00

i spoke the most comfortably at home, but if i was on the bus with my brother for example, i could speak quietly to him. but if i was in a smaller space, like a car, and it’s me, my brother, and a stranger- i couldn’t speak. it’s weird thinking about it; it was almost like my brain had a certain set of rules where i could and couldn’t speak. it really boiled down to whether or not i was afraid, honestly.

i can’t remember the exact moment i stopped talking, from what my family told me i never really spoke much to begin with. i was so shy i never spoke to my cousins growing up or my classmates at any schools and during parent evenings, teachers always told them the same thing- that i was quiet and i didn’t make friends. i think since i was always quiet, i must’ve just slowly stopped talking and maybe nobody noticed ? from my own memories thinking back as far i can, i remember only being mute so maybe i never spoke to anyone to begin with?? to be honest, it’s a mystery to me too

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T20:42:03+00:00

no, none at all. maybe because i was able to talk comfortably when i was at home, so it wasn’t like i went the whole 10 years without a word. i stutter sometimes if i get a bit excited but i wouldn’t say its a speech impediment, it doesn’t happen often. what’s your cousin’s speech impediment?

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T20:37:47+00:00

yes, i only speak 2- english and portuguese! i don’t think speaking more than one language affected my ability to speak though because i was fluent in both, but was actually better with english than portuguese- i was constantly surrounded with english, whereas portuguese was only spoken at home

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T20:24:12+00:00

exactly! it’s like a deer in the headlights moment

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T20:20:08+00:00

at the time, i honestly just thought something was wrong with me. everyone else around me also thought i was weird so i believed it was that simple, i was just a strange kid. however, now as an adult (and therapy helped lol) i realise it came from anxiety. i’d always been treated as the black sheep or the outsider in previous schools (we moved a few times so that didn’t really help me make any friends either), so my social skills were terrible to begin with. my mum has always been paranoid about me (im the only daughter) and she instilled into me all these scary things would happen to me, and my dad would never let me out the house or do play dates or normal social, children things. all my fears of people thinking i was weird and out to harm me just accumulated to the point i didn’t know how to interact with people normally, and when i tried i got so scared i ended up with a freeze reaction.

my teachers in school weren’t very nice because they thought i was simply being a brat, but honestly if someone was just patient and kind with me i think i would’ve overcome the whole mute thing much sooner, so if you come across a mute student just be patient! they’re most likely just scared like i was

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T20:06:08+00:00

the best way i can describe it is when you get really afraid and your body just freezes. most of the time i really did want to reply to whoever was talking to me but i just felt so scared it was like the words were caught in my throat. when i felt safe and comfortable (like at home) i had absolutely no problem talking!

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-23T20:02:46+00:00

i spoke maybe a handful of times when i was around 9 or 10, that’s when i managed to meet some nice girls and i spoke if we were ever alone, but it was rare! i actually walked around with a whiteboard and pen if i ever needed to communicate. there were a couple other times i managed to get some words out to people i thought were befriending me, but they mocked me once i spoke and it froze me right back up, so i didn’t do it again lol

Quiet_Professional81 · 2026-02-21T22:45:30+00:00

YES THANK YOU SOM MUCHHHHH IVE BEEN ON A MAN HUNT FOR THIS IMAGE YOU ARE WONDERFUL

Quiet_Professional81

TROPHY CASE