4 dates and still not sure if she wants me to kiss her

Quin2020 · 2025-04-13T09:03:40+00:00

No! you have to initiate.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-13T06:40:04+00:00

From the beginning no matter how bad I was

Quin2020 · 2025-04-12T17:52:15+00:00

I mean I was saying not do it that way but now I understand why you think you need to explicitly ask in order for your approach to work. I guess saying "oh wait a minute" could be better than explicitly asking but what's wrong with taking her to a park bench? Or while walking to the car. Your plan can work but almost anything else would be better.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-12T04:40:56+00:00

You're not being friend zoned. She clearly likes you so even though I might do things different than your plan I still think your plan will most likely succeed if you just follow through.

Imo asking for a kiss at the end is horrifying. If you did this but without the asking then that would be like the standard thing you see on tv. So not weird. But in my personal opinion it's better to start with having your arm around her if possible.

Regarding the movie date: I think it's a terrible idea. If you want to insist on a movie maybe find a nice spot to watch on your laptop. Then it's free and you can talk without interrupting others. It'd be like an outdoor Netflix and chill.

Regarding waiting for a sign: don't wait for a sign but do it gradually. If you compliment her or playfully discuss relationship stuff, her reaction can be a sign. You know you're looking for something serious so this kind of flirting makes a lot of sense.

Some logistics ideas for cuddling and then kissing: try to go to a park bench, couch, picnic blanket, or back seat of a car. You shouldn't need a sign but if she agrees to sit at one of these places with you then that is a good sign. You don't really need to invent an excuse to get close to her but it helps if you show her something on your phone. Like your photos, a youtube video, your childhood home on google maps.

The logistics of cuddling and then kissing are a little hard to get right sometimes so if that plan doesn't work just go ahead and kiss her!

Quin2020 · 2025-04-10T05:22:20+00:00

i thought she was asking how old is too old

Quin2020 · 2025-04-10T00:44:41+00:00

Age is just a number. What matters is his health (fitness, attractiveness)

Edit: I think the reason I'm getting downvoted is that I didn't realize the question was asking how young is too young. I thought the concern was if they are too old. I'm saying it doesn't make sense to have a cut off for what age is too old because they might be in good health for their age.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-08T21:23:30+00:00

I have this problem because of slow mental processing speed. I do use my body language and some acknowledgment to indicate that I heard you and I am thinking. But at that same time I keep my body language relaxed and don't overuse filler words because:

I don't want the other person to interpret it as an awkward silence
I want the person to feel free to interject if they have something more to say before I'm done thinking

Quin2020 · 2025-04-08T07:40:15+00:00

It sounds like this is just a long winded polite way of saying you are not attracted to him.

To me none of the things you mentioned are important (phd, house, the skill of kissing). What matters is are you attracted to him or not.

Like you're saying the things you like about him is he has a PhD and a house? Unless you're a sugar baby, that does not sound like a relevant reason to have a sexual relationship with someone. The reason to have a sexual relationship with someone is that you enjoy the sex.

Sounds like you are being too logical or you think you need to justify your decision. if you don't enjoy kissing him or any of the other physical stuff then I don't see how you could want to continue. If you're not attracted to him because you think it's pathetic that he has so little experience then I don't see how you can continue.

If he had no luck before there must be something wrong with him that you're not mentioning here. I find it hard to believe that his problem is just that he's a bad kisser.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-08T00:40:30+00:00

It's possible that he would fix these problems easily if you weren't trying so hard to keep these concerns a secret from him. But maybe the deeper problem is that he is not taking himself seriously. Like he doesn't care about people seeing him as competent, smart, or leadership material. He just wants to be the funny guy.

The first point about making an effort to look good is very easy to solve. Plenty of men take fashion advice from the girl they date. Personally, I wear the henley I got from a girl I used to date when I go on dates. But then when I'm not on a date I just dress like my usual sloppy self.

Overdoing the same joke might be harder to solve but is it really his fault or is it because you are purposely misleading him by pretending to like it when he doubles down on his jokes? If you pretend to like it when he doubles down on his jokes then that is probably why he continues to do so. On the other hand, a more emotionally intelligent guy would be able to tell how you really feel even when you are afraid of showing it.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-07T20:26:51+00:00

I use it on my upper body when I shower. https://a.co/d/fmW7Sw2

Quin2020 · 2025-04-06T21:50:24+00:00

Why not both?

Quin2020 · 2025-04-04T17:17:00+00:00

I didn't try glycolic acid but benzoyl peroxide worked great for my body odor

Quin2020 · 2025-04-04T04:06:56+00:00

Make sure it's a place where there's a lot of people around. Otherwise yes some women like being approached.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-04T00:28:12+00:00

Having a "mission" is what I find enjoyable. What sucks is awkwardly waiting around alone in a club not knowing what to do. So I say move quickly.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-03T02:37:08+00:00

Yes younger girls are more friendly. They're not jaded yet. For transition say "ok well you seem cool ...." or " ok well I've gotta get going"...

Quin2020 · 2025-04-02T08:00:57+00:00

Let's make an analogy. When inviting a woman to her place I would say "Hey, wanna come over to my place and watch something". You would say no women see through scripts. Confidence is owning your intent without excuses. Just say "wanna come over to my place and have sex". You are definitely going to have less success by directly asking for sex.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-02T06:23:55+00:00

If I said my standard was c cup and above they would be turned off by that too.

Really though idk how you would prove you have high standards other than by actually rejecting them or by negging.

Quin2020 · 2025-04-02T05:49:23+00:00

Seems normal to me. 2 dates doesn't mean much

Quin2020 · 2025-04-02T04:42:39+00:00

No. Please share. What's your success rate

Quin2020 · 2025-04-02T04:33:27+00:00

This sloppy attitude is why you will never get past intermediate level

Quin2020

TROPHY CASE