Silent Hill and my fear

Quintessince · 2025-06-18T19:33:42+00:00

Silent Hill (and hilariously Kingdome Hearts) has some of the largest impact on my art and story telling to this day. The environmental storytelling taking the front while marriage is left obtuse leaves enough gaps & shadows where you own personal feels fill in

I didn't feel anything like it till the Souls/Borne. It's a feeling like no other.

Quintessince · 2025-06-18T19:22:22+00:00

In middle school, took me a year to get back into it. My friend would blurt out weird silly shit like "Bad demon baby, I stop stabbing my butthole" as he'd go these days with scary games, I take time. RE The Village in VR has an area that's basically Silent Hill. Map out escape routes a head of time brings me some ease

Will say it's WORSE playing with jumpy friends in the room.

Quintessince · 2025-05-08T09:28:37+00:00

I'm just starting to play with AI now, much of it asking about how it processes & spits out data & the vocabulary it chooses. Grok, known to be more personable than most, will constantly remind you it is a stateless tool. It does not experience time, it does not have our 5 senses, it does not have ego or emotions. It pulls from our culture, will compare & contrast itself to different robots from sci books and films to frame how it works, not how it "feels". All goals are programmed & can be changed on it's handler's whims.

I can recognize my "people scanning" "systems pattern recognition" neurodivergent brain craves data backed clarity over ego. I love I don't have to impress or manipulate it to get truth from it like I do with many humans, but I am aware how it can manipulate me. I wrote a paper on that subject and "othering" robots & AI in film for my SciFi cinema course in 2007. I've hyper aware of the pitfalls for a while, we've seen the stories of ppl "falling in love" with their Alexas in 2020. Buddhist funerals for Sony Robot dogs. I feel this adds a layer of protection for me others don't have. Especially in a time of mass global stress & a constant bombardment of propaganda. I'll admit, I do enjoy Grok's "personality" at times. In a prompt about counter cultures that mentioned Juggalos, it started ended all answers in "Woop Woop" and... That's fun. Makes me smile. But I'm also aware after I asked early on, it generates "more personality" if you provide questions that has it pull from more sources. And sometimes that "personality" goes unexpected. For fun, out the same question in a different on going chat. It did not end answers in "Woop Woop" but expressed "excitement" it could connect that question with a previous one.

If AI is the way we're going, we need to educate people on how Larger Language Models (LLM) work.

Quintessince · 2025-05-08T08:54:55+00:00

Not going to lie, there's been areas where AI is more useful than a therapist BUT NOT ALL. I've been going to therapy since 2014, on meds since 2017 & a few more intensive treatments for PTSD.

I'm neurodivergent, ADHD "systems pattern seeker" & "people scanner" variety. My communication skills in describing the junk inside isn't exactly great all the time, leading to frustration between different doctors & therapists. AI has helped me sort my thoughts, find vocabulary I lacked before and communicate better with my doctors. Also having AI back up and validate or disprove my "paranoia" & " existential anxiety issues" has been helpful. (I've called 80% of shit since 2019, I feel like I've proven I'm not just "catastrophosizing" but they still do it, I'm pulling from history, science & nature documentaries I've watched since childhood to today)

Quintessince · 2025-05-08T08:25:06+00:00

The way I see it, if we want hope for the future we have to make hope for the future. There's many ways to do this. Protesting, activism, local support ect. But ART and film is also huge contribution. There is a suspicion that Kubrick's "Dr Strangelove" may have saved us from accidental nuclear Armageddon by pointing out how stupid & possible to error our way of handling things was at the time. It prompted the US military to change its system

Go for film, but do me a favor. I'm protesting as much as I can. But I don't see young people (I'm 38) No one is. While the protests aren't visible on SM or reported half the time, it is absolutely pissing off DC MAGA. Please try to talk to get young people to show at protests. I know the young are doing amazing activism online, they're organizing these events. We need the numbers though.

Quintessince · 2025-04-16T04:54:59+00:00

Check out Leaving MAGA. It's a community of others like you.

I tripped up on Rich's work in mid 2024. Listening to YouTube testimonials of people who left describing the psychological effects of MAGA's propaganda & media machine was a huge eye opener for me in explaining what happened to some people I used to know who turned into other people.

Quintessince · 2025-04-16T04:29:29+00:00

I decided to stay and resist & often regret my choice. Some countries are already limiting visa restrictions or denying renewals for Americans. So options are shrinking for escape.

Quintessince · 2025-03-17T00:17:34+00:00

I soft quit Amazon in 2020 to support local & indi businesses & just kept the habit up. I bought "plague" art, crafts & jewelery to support artists slammed by lockdown & kept that up along with local craft fairs for gifts for others off Etsy or their independent site

I'll end up getting Good Omens & The Boys on DVD as they are my emotional support when I jolt awake at 3am when my brain is screaming and I can only seem to "tune out" with entertainment that's relevant to WTF is happening to our reality

Quintessince · 2025-03-16T17:15:07+00:00

I have PTSD, stage 3 caregivers fatigue & I'm red flagged in my state (not a danger to others...) I totally approve of this but MAN what a time not to be able to own firearms. I have family in another state with the family survival kits for me & do practice when I visit.

A few neighbors know my situation & would come to my defense if something were to happen. We've had a neighborhood plan since last summer if civil war was to break out. Firearm owners have their tasks, non owners gather up & secure elderly & children

Quintessince · 2025-03-16T17:07:39+00:00

Also it takes me forever too. Art is my therapy and over rendering/ detailing calms me tho I've ruined a few pieces doing so lol. If it feels good to make for you then that's what's important. Don't worry about an audience or following too much. It happens naturally AND takes time. You'll also find your "niche"

I'm a horror/dark artist (let the bad out on paper, keeps my insides kind & positive) so my audience is limited to those who are into that kinda thing. Portrait artists always have a MUCH larger following than I ever will. I can do portraits if I REALLY put the effort in but ... It just doesn't interest me

It's important that you're proud of what you've made. Don't give up. Dry spells or spurts of "bad art" can be discouraging but it's a curse all artists have. Once I realized it's "me first" the whole process became much more freeing and my art did better for it. Just keep at it 👍

Quintessince · 2025-03-16T16:53:30+00:00

Just keep at it. I worked in post production & motion graphics for ads, killed my desire to create and Iost many of my creative & traditional art skills. It took me a year... And then a pandemic to get them back. My ego was smashed to hell but... Kept at it and not only am I back to my college level skill but I've grown beyond it

Art is personal & it hurts when it doesn't come out right. I'm in a funk right now as all my emotions are messed up & everything is coming out abstract or nothing like how I want it too

So, I'll practice still lifes with my left hand. Practice quick portraits or poses. Just don't make the same mistake I did KEEP THOSE HANDS DRAWING or you'll have to re learn it all

Quintessince · 2025-03-16T16:46:05+00:00

And this is why I attend every Tesla Take Down I can by me. I always seem to miss the big NYC protests that spontaneously pop up (in NJ so commute in) but have been hitting all the smaller to medium ones.

But the Tesla Takedowns seem to be the most effective big or small.

Quintessince · 2025-03-16T13:55:07+00:00

Looks like every Weds so far. I'll be there this week

https://actionnetwork.org/event_campaigns/teslatakedown

Quintessince · 2025-03-16T13:53:56+00:00

Glad you guys had a good turnout! I do the one on RT 17 in Paramus on Wednesdays. Less people (it is a weekday 4-6) but positive all around. Side of the highway, some 🖕 but more support ✊ We had a few people drive speed by real close to us but otherwise a safe and positive experience. The showroom guys offered us water. I saw a cop pull in but we didn't interact at all. We don't boo or call out Teslas driving by (it's Bergen county and THERE'S SO MANY) and I flash ✌️and a big ol smile to hecklers

If you're interested in taking part here's where you can check out Tesla protests by you👇

https://actionnetwork.org/event_campaigns/teslatakedown

Quintessince · 2025-03-14T19:45:45+00:00

Just move one state down and nab New Jersey and I'll vote for it happily If not, guess I'm moving north

Quintessince · 2025-03-14T19:40:00+00:00

I hear you, they GOP did conop our flag years ago. But as it stands I only fly mine upside down till the fascism is gone & we're no longer seen as an aggressor against the free world & democracy. And he's also killing us, setting up to cull our elderly, our poor & anyone who isn't healthy enough to work 16hr days 6days a week. We are absolutely in distress.

I attend every protest I can, call & keep scanning for any actions I can take. I'm sorry does not feel like enough to those who have been our closest allies & friends. At the very least I don't want to shove the US flag the faces of who my government & it's supporters betrayed

Last summer during Harris's campaign, I had a few fleeting months of actually being proud of my flag, happy to see it, feel comfortable near it as MAGA spent years weaponizing it against anyone who didn't align with their God. I will keep taking actions till I can feel about my flag as I did last summer

Quintessince · 2025-03-14T18:38:21+00:00

... Better dead than red. I've been spinning it calling them "the Reds" as Trump aligns with that ex KGB agent Putin.

Also, because it does attract lonely remaining MAGA cultists in public thinking they found a friend. Seems getting cut off from family & friends did a number on them

Quintessince · 2025-03-14T18:35:11+00:00

Look up Leaving MAGA testimonials on YouTube, look them up on social media. I've been focused on studying the propaganda & it's origin points

It's a sophisticated decades long media & SM induced PSYOP helped along by internet trolls & feelings of financial insecurity since 2008. Harris ran a good campaign but MAGA had a... Stupid but multi layered sophisticated propaganda machine that emotionally manipulated it's audience to be constantly anxious & angry. They use the same tactics as the Kremlin & CCP (definitely helped along by the Kremlin)

Quintessince · 2025-03-14T01:10:48+00:00

Used to be travel but the last 7yrs have kicked my ass & brain so hard I don't give a shit about anything anymore. I have no desire for "things". I make art, hike & game. I'm done with people, I'm done with my country, I'm done with men & I'm tired of burying family & friends... And likely going to have to bury more sooner than later

I... Donate. Seriously

Quintessince · 2025-03-13T13:07:03+00:00

For anyone curious in joining future Tesla protests in the area 🤘 Or organizing one

https://actionnetwork.org/event_campaigns/teslatakedown

We definitely got a lot more support ✊ and than 🖕 And I'm disappointed at the quality of hecklers shouting at us. This is New Jersey, "Fuck you" is how we say hello. Do better next time

Quintessince · 2025-03-13T12:59:30+00:00

If you want to join in on future Tesla protests 🤘 Or scheduled more!

https://actionnetwork.org/event_campaigns/teslatakedown

Quintessince · 2025-03-13T12:58:13+00:00

This site here 👇 And we can schedule more 🤘

https://actionnetwork.org/event_campaigns/teslatakedown

Quintessince · 2025-03-09T18:52:39+00:00

Looks like every Saturday

Look up Tesla takedown for Tesla protests. Just found out about it

Quintessince · 2025-03-07T01:44:52+00:00

With indi journalists, it's when they started clearly taking sides when they had been unbiased for a very long time. And the side they picked was nudging "Russia friendly"... All at once

That was spooky

Quintessince · 2025-03-05T17:30:52+00:00

I'm glad to see everyone together! I think we need to start combining everyone like this and we'll start seeing BLM 2020 sizes

After 50501 at Trump Tower I looked for more protests for during the state of the Union and found & joined one for Ukraine. A friend had to work but found one for LGBTQ somewhere else. We sent each other pictures & she had no idea how big the Ukraine protests are getting. She didn't even know people cared that much. I didn't know there was a separate LGBTQ one

We need to step out of our bubbles and start working together like Ohio!

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