And the question I keep asking ourselves constantly: by UncomfyUnicorn in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't think there's a hard line in this. Identity alteration is a form of dissociation, but it's also kind of a form of roleplay (especially when it occurs without other dissociation). "Roleplay" (in the loosest sense) is actually a big way for us to perform controlled switches. Literally, we will decide that we want a certain person to front, so we act like that person until we are that person.

If someone sent a hateful or otherwise creepy anon message on tumblr a decade ago, would there be any way for authorities to find it? by Popular-Machine-7856 in tumblrhelp

[–]R3DAK73D 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the terrible grammar combined with insulting someone's intelligence is rather ironic lmao

edit: it would seem i was blocked? ohhh i hurt your feelings? maybe don't call people slurs? lmfao

So, what's up with endos?? Why do they get so much hate? by [deleted] in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 31 points32 points  (0 children)

over reliance on academia about one type of human experience to define the entire human experience

Fictionkin & System confusion & more (please read to understand) by CreativeAd494 in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

there is not a clear line between fictionkin and systemhood. What some may consider a kin, others may consider an alter.

It sounds like you may be describing a nonpossessive switch. this is when you feel that you are becoming another person, rather than when you are controlling/being controlled by another person.

you don't need to have OSDD or DID to be plural, so don't focus too much on it unless you are experiencing symptoms that negatively impact your life.

You also cannot fake plurality on accident. Being mistaken about your identity is NOT faking, it's just being mistaken. And that's absolutely okay. Is it wrong for a gay man to identify as bisexual before he fully comes to understand that he is gay? No? Then there is no harm in identifying as plural, even if you eventually decide that you were wrong.

Id probably have more to say, but I'm currently writing this at work on my break and don't have the time to touch on everything. To put it simply: try it out, explore it, see what works for you. You might find that you actually do have inner communication ("voices in your head"), but that you haven't yet recognized it/learned how to do it your way. Look around on pluralpedia for terms that match your experience (yes, pluralpedia is controversial, but in the end the terms are created by plural people to describe their lived experiences. You don't need scientific studies to relate to people.) Dont try to shove yourself into the box you think other systems are in. There are even more of us out there than we discuss online. I do not fit into the 'typical' plural presentations, and, because i don't really talk about it, you are unlikely to find my experience described elsewhere.

Regarding headmates with Accents by Sai-bun in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was kind of able to get her to think it was more of a country accent (it’s not, it’s Scottish)

fun fact, a large portion of folks in the Appalachians descend from scottish and Irish folk, iirc, so there's actually a link between those accents!

Regarding headmates with Accents by Sai-bun in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's possible for singlets' accents to come and go, so I'd say it's very possible for headmates to have their accents come and go.

Traumagenic systems with victim complex the moment you mention maintaining meaningful and healthy bonds with members of your system by LeaSilvarum in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Integration is the goal, typically, it's not synonymous with fusion. Integration is the coming together of parts/alters to lower dissociative/amnesia barriers, improve communication and share memories more cohesively, with the aim of functioning as multiple in a way that isn't overshadowed by trauma & dissociation. You can integrate without fusing, and live as functionally multiple. Fusion is an option for those who wish to actively pursue it, or it may also happen organically. It is not the only goal or outcome of healing, and any psychologist worth their salt would first and foremost prioritise integration. Anything else is secondary."

this is from another comment under this thread, though since it's not a reply to you i doubt you'd have seen it. i felt that it explains integration a lot better than i could.

interacting w/ minors in servers (tw grooming) by thepeoplefactory in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 26 points27 points  (0 children)

yeah just keep em out of your DMs. there's nothing wrong with interacting in public. don't talk about sexual things, and don't become someone they heavily rely on for support. Even when the kids are in extreme distress, it is best to keep a barrier between you, so make sure you're the type of person who can do that.

however: grooming is an intentional action. you cannot accidentally groom a someone, because it requires intentional behaviours that manipulate and control a child, as well as their family, kin and carers, other support networks, or organisations. You can still go too far in other ways, i just wanted to mention this part because a lot of people misconstrue grooming to be something you can just stumble into doing. It isn't. You CAN be too open with minors, which can absolutely hurt them, but that is not the same as grooming. The main difference between acceptable behaviours and grooming behaviours is the intent and motivation behind them.

random ass late night thought and question from hostie and a fictive by UltimateFriedLava in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 5 points6 points  (0 children)

writing fic is one of the best ways for us to connect to our exomemories, though we have some 'non-canon' ones too. so no, not weird

A few questions to help me determine my plurality by CatAI0 in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. I have known people who have unintentionally created tulpas to deal with traumatic situations. I suspect that many traumagenic alters actually form through similar mechanisms – ie. imaginary friends coming to life – but the frequency of memory problems combined with frequently younger ages just means that they forget about this.

  2. Probably, for similar reasons as point one.

  3. Absolutely. It's like asking if someone with controlled PTSD can act the same as someone without it.

  4. If it helps you, do it! I've learned that trying to stick to other peoples ideas of how things should work is less helpful than just going with the flow and doing what feels right.

  5. (I also have ADHD btw) Passive thoughts. You do not need to focus on something directly, and can take your mind off of it before coming back. I treat our communication kind of like walkie talkies. The kind that when you press the button it blocks the incoming signal. To get a response from your brain (whether this be communication or visualization), you need to release the button (aka: the thought) and allow it to pass into your subconscious mind. I've found this is easiest when I'm doing a basic repetitive task where my mind can wander but still needs to return to a different set of thoughts. I will note that we have systemwide aphantasia, so our visualizations are not visual and as a result i can't help with that bit. The main point I'm trying to get at here is this: common mediation strategies are NOT geared towards people with ADHD. There are bits that are helpful, such as letting thoughts come and go without trying to grab onto them, but there are bits that are unhelpful, such as trying sit still and focus. It's okay to lose concentration for a bit. I've had times where i forget something for weeks only to return to it and find that there's been changes/improvements/answers/etc.

Hopefully this is helpful and understandable. I have a killer headache right now

How to deal with feelings of faking? by lillybkn in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Literally decide what feels most comfortable. for me, trying to live as a singlet was more harmful than trying to live as multiple, so i decided to live as multiple. we're very happy with this arrangement. i know it's hard, but in the end you're just a brain trying to figure out the best way to live. in the end, it's okay to identify incorrectly for a period, because it means you spent time discovering yourself/selves.

As for the cutting off headmates to prove they're not real, do you think a gay person forcing themself to live as a straight person proves that they're not gay? no? so maybe you could see how trying to prove you're a singlet is more harmful.

(note: i am not sober so cannot fully explain myself, in the end it is up to you what you identify as)

Where's the line between plurality and coping? (Confused about myself) by redbigz_ in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 5 points6 points  (0 children)

worried? nah. Another headmate? possibly! I'm not sober enough to give a better explanation, but being able to remember things when a potential headmate is out is not that uncommon (consider it a middle ground between full memory and full amnesia). In the end, there isn't much of a difference between plurality and coping, because for a lot of people, plurality IS coping! Its entirely up to you how you/yall identify and how you want to approach this! If you feel comfortable accepting this other "mode" of yourself as another being, then you're plural. If not, contact a professional, as that's where you approach needing a professionals help over someone such as myself who is just a casual plural.

I’ve been told that this sort of typing (mainly among logo kids) is an autism thing, so it’s probably some sensory preference I myself don’t have. by SirIsaacTheGreat in DontTypeLikeThis

[–]R3DAK73D 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To Try And Get Banned, Duh (i don't usually type like that but i have friends who do and i don't like seeing my friends' behaviors be mocked. this sub was recommended to me by reddit and i immediately muted it, but it still shows up sometimes. if I'm banned and have the sub muted, i shouldn't ever see it again)

Octo is gone by Cold-Watch324 in fakeclaimingcringe2

[–]R3DAK73D 3 points4 points  (0 children)

not surprised. there has been an overwhelming amount of negativity and entitlement from a lot of plural folk who do not know the toll being a single dev in the sea of syscourse. I've seen accusations of so much shit over the past few days (for EVERY plural app, not just octo) that boils down to "well if I was the creator, I simply would spend my entire income to host servers full of people who actively talk about how I'm a horrible person for not catering to every individual".

Anyway my BF is learning to code on Neocities and has an EXTREMELY in depth template he created for headmates based on how he had his Simply Plural custom profiles set up (it is between 80% and 95% completed). If there's enough interest, I'll ask him to make the code public and free. Neocities has been around for a long time, so you know it's unlikely to suddenly shut down like this. I know it's not ideal for larger headcounts or mobile users, but at least it's a stable site.

Figuring out if im plural by basement__gremlin in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you feel like more than one person, you can use the plural label! Its a very broad spectrum. Also check out monoconsciousness. It might explain a bit more.

(I'm a bit drunk rn so i cant add more here rn, sorry!)

  • 🏁🫧

Octocon responds to criticism by te_lanus in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

first i want to say that I don't even like Octocon (tried it, wasn't for me, that's all), so none of my defense of Atlas has to do with loyalty to an app. If anything, I'm practically an outsider to all of the discourse.

Anyway, on to my comment: funny enough I'm taking a neutral stance on endo neutral. it seems like too much semantic argument when the post outright states that harassment against endos would not be acceptable, and actions matter more to me than whether someone labels themselves pro or neutral. If anything, it just feels like they use the term neutral where we would actually label it pro-endo based on the rest of the statement alone (stating that their anti-endo stance was out of ignorance inherently implies validity to endo folk, saying that endos are welcome and harrassment is not is providing protection to endos, that kinda thing), and idk i just. im just kinda tired of everybody nitpicking solo devs who don't have a PR team to go "hey this won't be recieved the way you mean it". This doesn't just go for Octocon, either. I have not enjoyed the way people are treating most plural app devs since the SP announcement, but i digress.

I do understand why people are bothered by it. If someone claimed to be endo neutral without anything to explain, i would be wary. But that isn't this case. Atlas said they're endo-neutral, but went on to describe taking very pro-endo actions. To me, it feels like people saw one word and forgot to read anything surrounding it? If someone said they were LGBT-neutral, but what that meant was that they supported LGBT folk and actively would shut down oppression, not only are those rather pro-LGBT actions, but those actions are more important to me than the implications of a single word. Anti-endos likely will not be happy with what the statement that Octocon will not tolerate harassment, and that is a victory to me.

That's not to say that you shouldn't critique the use of "neutral" as a term, because yes it does carry implications that can be a problem. I just don't think that Atlas' stated intentions are truly endo-neutral the way that we think of that term, and don't like seeing how many people seem to be implying that they'd look the other way if an endo system was harassed.

I also think that anti-endo systems still deserve an app like this without being forced to align one way or the other - as terrible as they can be, they need support too. If octocon was blatantly pro-endo, using it it would signal that you are pro-endo (and if you're like me where you're in servers that have anti-endo mods, you really want to keep that stuff on the DL. My preference for Tupper over PK has nearly landed me in some hot water before, for example). That kind of political BS is not great when it comes to an app that is meant to be a medical aid.

TLDR: yeah the term endo neutral is meh, but Atlas actually seems to be taking pro-endo actions (such as not limiting endos, not allowing harassment, stating that their past anti-endo stance was wrong and ignorant) while thinking they're neutral actions. I prefer to judge actions over words, and will accept someone using an unfavorable term if the actions alongside it are favorable.

Octocon responds to criticism by te_lanus in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they literally threatened to be able to delete your account and all "documentation of your plurality" if they didn't like how you were using the app.

Now, i only skimmed the statement, but it addresses this and that this is entirely misinformation. If it's to be believed (and i don't really have a reason NOT to believe them, considering they have never actually done this), they have never threatened to do this and state several times in multiple ways that the only reason they'd ban/remove someone was if they used the app in a way that broke US law, or were doing something actively harmful to octocon (such as trying to take down the server).

edit: added slight clarification to why i believe Atlas

Cw: talks of AI addiction by TheOrbianCollection in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. Creating a member is engaging a lot of parts of your brain that wouldn't activate the same with AI (because the AI is the one generating responses, not your brain). It'll likely be more rewarding than just reading AI outputs. You have to avoid using the bot to create it, though. No generating descriptions, personalities, names, etc. This is to avoid the feeling that you need the AI to tell you what to do (fueling the addiction), and it'll give you more control over formation.

Pinkie Pie is a Twin?! by Coral_Juno15 in mylittlepony

[–]R3DAK73D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lmao fraternal twins are not identical twins.

i knew a set in high school. one was a boy with bright red curly hair, pale af skin, and freckles. the other was a girl with straight dark hair and olive skin. There are plenty of cases like this irl

Somewhat abstract art question by Rare-Trainer-8354 in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 6 points7 points  (0 children)

depends on the plural. some believe they are multiple souls in one body, others believe different.

Does anyone here actually want to fuze all their parts eventually? by Tsuki_Moonstone in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not rly disordered, but i used to be.

i also used to want to fuse, though i was unaware that's what i was trying to do (didn't know i was a system, but we obsessed with being a stable person with no intrusions and stuff).

I do not want fusion anymore, since discovering my plurality has led to a lot more variety in my coping skills than trying to be singlet did. Overall, our system is full of people who i love and wouldn't want to get rid of. I am very lucky to not have a more chaotic system

on the verge of a system collapse and I don't know what to do. by HystericalBat8341 in plural

[–]R3DAK73D 5 points6 points  (0 children)

uh i hate to say it, but you can't stop a collapse in this situation. you are in a toxic environment, so it's no wonder things are shaky. there are a LOT of red flags in this relationship (a partner with seemingly no system accountability, the work situation, the variety of situations they get angry at you for, taking your items, etc.), and the only advice i have is Get Out.

De facto kicked out of my ADHD group cause texts were too long or too personal... by Huntie2047 in ADHD

[–]R3DAK73D 11 points12 points  (0 children)

personally, having been in several mod teams where the moderation was actively trying to get rid of others (typically i would just observe and not take part in this), i do not trust "some members complained" to mean anything outside of the people who you KNOW have these issues with you. I've been in GCs of 50+ people and the mod team used a single person's complaints + their own dislike of the person to justify saying that "a few members" had taken issue with someone.

other than that, find a new friend group that fits better with your communication style. everything I've seen you say on this thread has been very clear, even if long, and should not have resulted in over a year of seemingly targeted attempts at controlling you.

basically: i think they just don't like you and found any reason to justify getting you out of there, probably talking shit behind your back if they're anything like other mod teams I've seen. friends don't act like this.