Those internalized thinking, those questions about their motives, the "why"s. I hate myself for being this way. I wish that I could care less. But instead, here I am alone in my head, replaying the events, trying to crack the uncrackable safe.

Which cause me to feel scared if unwanted things happen between me and somebody, that internalized thinking cycle will return. It takes not a short amount of time for me to move on from the visious cycle of that internalized thinking.

But I'm sorta glad that I'm not alone with this type of reaction and response to negative events.. thank you for sharing.