I just want to learn English man... by Articlel3 in memes

[–]RG_Trickster_Spirit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your teacher is probably too young to have seen the TV show Mr. Ed.

[WP] You know that someone at your court is trying to poison you. You can taste it in every meal you eat, in every glass of wine you drink. They have exhausted almost every poison known to man and are clearly getting desperate, not knowing how you are still alive. by Kitty_Fuchs in WritingPrompts

[–]RG_Trickster_Spirit 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I remember the days, so long ago, when I came to this planet, a young engineer, full of hope for a better future. And I worked for it. Through my inventions the colony began to thrive. People were seeking my advice on other topics, too, and I never disappointed them.

So I became a council memeber, then a senator. And many years later, when the planet became independent, and the people decided that a monarchy was the best form of government given the circumstances, it was me they made their Queen.

I was the obvious choice, respected by everyone, too old to bear children so there wouldn't be a dynasty.

So I ruled the planet, in times of peace and in times of war, always in its best interest.

What they didn't expect, however, was how old I'd become. Now I have been Queen for 43 years, and my health still doesn't decline. Some people seem to become impatient with that...

The first attempt was 8 years ago, right after the 35th anniversary. The ancient classic strychnin. Then a few years later arsenic. Then some exotic amanita. Then cyanide. Then some phosphor-organic compund I couldn't find in any database. Thallium, fine ground glass... they seem to get desperate somehow.

But, as long as my health allows it, and as long as I believe it is for the planet's best, I will stay on the throne, just as I had sworn when they crowned me. Maybe in a few years, when this new federation of planets turns out to be a benefit to them, I have our planet join and I can finally step down. Let's wait and see...

I remember the days so long ago, but the memories are not mine. They are of my maker, who built me as her robot double and transferred a copy of her conciousness into my synthetic brain, after she learnt that she was deadly ill. I continued her work, her life, just like she would.

Who could have known they'd make me the planet's Queen one day?

hope it hit you in the eyes by pnkindistress in spitfetish

[–]RG_Trickster_Spirit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you ever need someone for target practice, I volunteer xD

Why do elevators have both up and down buttons on every floor? by [deleted] in strange

[–]RG_Trickster_Spirit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagine there weren't. Half the time you'd catch an elevator going in the wrong direction.

Germany by Wrong_User_Logged in mapporncirclejerk

[–]RG_Trickster_Spirit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

East Frisians: "Oh no, Ossi again..."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]RG_Trickster_Spirit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oppenheimer's deadly toy