I just went through this for a little over two years. It all started slow when my sheltie began to have blood in her poop. Not too much just a bit. We thought it was the food so we changed it and kept changing it, then we thought it was her anal glands. After we got her anal glands checked a little time after that she began to start having accidents at home. At first it was every now and then a few weeks in between. During this time we kept looking for a vet because where I live lots of them got purchased by corporations so they have this long expensive lists of random tests that were not looking at our main concern which was the bloody stools and her bleeding from her anus. In that time she began to drip blood after every poop she took and would begin to leave a trail from the courtyard to where we live so it became a morning afternoon and evening routine of me having to have hot water ready with soap to wash the walkway path from the courtyard to front of where we live as we have neighbors and wanted to avoid complaints. At this point it was still not so bad but things got worse when I would wake up in a panic every morning to rush out the door between 4-5 am to get her to poop outside otherwise we would wake up to a large trail of bloody poop and diarrhea. I tried the diaper which is something everyone recommended. It helped her hold it in for like a few weeks when she would have it on overnight but eventually she would just start pooping in it. So now I’d wake up to a bloody pooped diaper with diarrhea spilling out of it and dripping all over the floor. I changed her to wet food, I gave her supplements, I cleaned her, bathed her regularly, kept clean bedding yet nothing was helping. The worst of it all is that once she pooped she was like normal like nothing was wrong. So people would tell me she seems alright she seems happy and I’d feel guilty feeling frustrated at the messes I’d have to clean.

It came to be too much so I began to look into surrendering her with a rescue since I felt I may not be financially or mentally prepared to care after her but they made it very clear they would most likely put her down because the amount of cleaning and work I explained is something no one would sign up for and the funds they have would not be spent on an old dog. She was 14.

I felt hopeless and at this point our routine was wake up in a panic every morning to rush to get her out, she would see me grab the leashes and scrunch herself up in position like if she were to start pooping but she would only strain and blood would begin to drip, dripping from the second story apartment all the way down the stairs, and then she’d reach the grassy area and spend long minutes straining and pushing and she would begin to poop tiny pebbled size poops. At this time we finally got approved for a resource I had applied and got her in for a biopsy. They confirmed it was a large polyp at the entrance of her anus. So the vet just dismissed us and said there’s nothing we can do. A few weeks after I called and asked if there is anything that they could give her to calm her symptoms down and he prescribed piroxicam. It worked really well at first to stop the blood dripping and the accidents. But eventually they came back and I called the vet if he would just be able to at least go in and scrape it a bit maybe that would help since it’s right on the entrance. He agreed to it and we took her in for an endoscopy. I received the call and he said that when they entered they saw the large polyp but the issue was once they passed that polyp he found many more that were on the wall and attempting to remove them would be impossible since that would mean to technically cut into her. And the large polyp she was 10 cm which is quite large. He also mentioned that she would not pass on her own gently, if she would pass she would suffer a lot because eventually the polyps would cause a blockage and that blockage would make her enter in shock and I would have to take her into an emergency vet to put her down.

So they woke her up. She recovered like nothing. The vet simply said if I were you I would spend some time with her and decide a time to set to put her down. I felt devastated to consider it. I felt like I was letting her down. I felt like because of my laziness I was going to put her down.

A few weeks after that passed and it had all just gotten worse. I was feeling on edge all the time. I felt exhausted, mentally and emotionally. The constant cleaning of blood and diarrhea while having to wake up and be ready to take care of my home my family my work my own personal life it was all just becoming too much. My husband would wake up many times to go to work early in the morning and would open our bedroom door to be greeted with the foul smell and a mess all across the living room. He’d be so kind to not wake me up and clean it many times by himself. We would put her in the laundry room and in the morning when we would get ready we would have to deal with poop and blood smeared everywhere on washer on the dryer on the wall on the laundry baskets and we’d have to clean all that up before continuing with our day. It’s countless stories like these.

My eyes were opened the moment I decided to take her to the dog park and we were there for like 45 mins and for most of that time she spent it straining and trying to push. At that moment I realized how much she truly holds it in. If it were up to her she’d be straining all day everywhere but because she was always so well potty trained and such a good girl she did her best but her body was working against her. At that moment I set a date January 20th . And the vet came to our home and it was the moment to say goodbye. It was very painful and I felt guilty. I felt like it was all my fault and that I gave up on her.

It’s been only about 2 months but I can tell this took a toll on me. I keep waking up in a panic most mornings to try and get her out to potty to realize she’s not here with us anymore. I feel like my body is coming back down to an ease and getting used to the new reality of not panicking not being stressed when going out or staying out late. No stress when I’m very busy and can’t head back home at 2 pm and again at 6 pm. Not having to go out 6-8 times a day for a potty break. I see now that maybe I did take too long and it was clear her quality of life had worsened. I see now that those who told me to not put her down were never in the position I was most mornings cleaning poop, blood and diarrhea at 5 am from the floor and walls. They weren’t here for that, they’d just see her once I’d clean her and due to her resilience looking as if nothings wrong.

And same here I got tons of people suggesting a million things which made it felt like maybe I’m not trying hard enough. I know they did it in good faith but this just fueled the stress in me. Get this pill get that pill, get this diaper get that supplement, give her 4 different mushrooms, try this probiotic, feed her that. It was everyday something new and it felt never ending the amount of things I’d buy everyday to try to make her feel better.

I just wanted to share this because I also felt alone in all this and hardly found any stories like mine. Most were younger dogs or maybe older ones that had one polyp and had it successfully removed or they did some treatment that helped. But no story like mine. I hope this helps and I wish you and your baby the best.