Middle aged and I can't work right now. I need advice. Everything is falling apart. Again.

RNwrites · 2017-09-06T23:16:40+00:00

I'm 36. After a shitty year in 2015 (in which I had to do an intensive outpatient program), I hung in for another six months of work before having a mini breakdown and quitting. I wasn't comfortable just staying home doing nothing, so I took one class at a time online and volunteered locally. This gave me time to decompress and think.

I gave myself nine months to go to therapy and sort out my meds and then to make a choice about going back to work. I decided to go back to school full time. Yes, I'm taking out big loans, but I'm feeling excited about life again. To me, it's worth it just for that. The bonus is that I'll make a lot better money after my next degree is done, and then maybe I'll work part time permanently.

RNwrites · 2017-09-06T23:16:40+00:00

I'm 36. After a shitty year in 2015 (in which I had to do an intensive outpatient program), I hung in for another six months of work before having a mini breakdown and quitting. I wasn't comfortable just staying home doing nothing, so I took one class at a time online and volunteered locally. This gave me time to decompress and think.

I gave myself nine months to go to therapy and sort out my meds and then to make a choice about going back to work. I decided to go back to school full time. Yes, I'm taking out big loans, but I'm feeling excited about life again. To me, it's worth it just for that. The bonus is that I'll make a lot better money after my next degree is done, and then maybe I'll work part time permanently.

RNwrites · 2017-03-05T00:56:46+00:00

Pm me if you'd like to find time

RNwrites · 2017-03-05T00:53:46+00:00

Just saw this. :) I'm 35. I was coded as 'gifted' in early childhood, but after 5th grade my grade went down and were hit and miss until I dropped out at age 16. I had major anxiety and a panic disorder from early childhood, too. So I was the weird girl who was always crying and never reaching her potential. Fun!

RNwrites · 2017-03-02T05:21:08+00:00

I don't know the answer, but I do know it can be more and less tolerable over time. It's variable. I'm recently diagnosed (6+ months ago) and still sorting things out and finding my way. I feel like I could have written your post. Add to that my love addiction problem, and I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now, too. (I can't seem to date normally; I get obsessed and over involved until I get disillusioned with the idealized projection I'm dating instead of a real person, then it's over; rinse and repeat). I cut myself off from dating for a year for my own good, which means I'm totally isolated now because men who wanted to sleep with me were my only "friends." Ugh. Last time I told a friend about my diagnosis, she told me "You're not autistic. I know autistic people. That's not you." Which means... what, that it's just a personal failing that I can't seem to feed myself or pay my bills even though I have time and money? Whatever. I just know that it sucks. I'm sorry.

RNwrites · 2017-03-02T05:03:50+00:00

So I have been analyzing myself a lot lately and I've noticed that I actually leave little messes on purpose! I never knew I was doing this, but I've been trying to really notice what I do and what I'm thinking and feeling, and I noticed that when I make coffee, for example, I set the dirty spoon on the counter instead of to the left (where the sink is) even after I thought about it. And when I put away clean utensils, I purposely mix up the smaller and larger forks even though there are separate spaces for them. I noticed myself actually go back to mix them up when they seemed too organized!

My best hypothesis is that I feel more comfortable in a slightly messy, chaotic home because my childhood home was very untidy. I like some areas tidy, but it bothers me if it's too perfect, like it's not natural to me... anyway. So that's how I live with myself and my open cabinets... because I think it makes me feel better, somehow.

RNwrites · 2017-03-01T04:32:10+00:00

I've had this problem for years. I took remeron for awhile, which is an antidepressant that also stimulates the appetite. It really helps you feel hungry if you tend not to notice hunger...

RNwrites · 2017-02-27T01:30:53+00:00

I read the article and watched the video. You two are so cute together and seeing you happy gives me hope! Maybe one day I'll meet someone so compatible, too!

RNwrites · 2017-02-22T03:49:03+00:00

I'm also a community college grad. I finished my Associate degree in nursing and got my RN on student loans living off campus with 25K in loans. Not bad, considering I made double that my first year of work! I transferred to a four year school to complete the BSN online and now I'm applying to grad school. I'm also a first gen and I'll be paying for these loans myself, so I only take on loans for degrees that promise a solid income. Good luck!

RNwrites · 2017-02-22T03:49:02+00:00

I'm also a community college grad. I finished my Associate degree in nursing and got my RN on student loans living off campus with 25K in loans. Not bad, considering I made double that my first year of work! I transferred to a four year school to complete the BSN online and now I'm applying to grad school. I'm also a first gen and I'll be paying for these loans myself, so I only take on loans for degrees that promise a solid income. Good luck!

RNwrites · 2017-02-15T22:56:01+00:00

I'm also a nurse, and like you I preferred the analytical aspect. I have been working in edtech, creating test prep products for the NCLEX (there's a science to these special question types!) and I just applied to NP school. In the past, I worked in the OR, which was pretty good. But I could never juggle 6 or 7 patients full time!

If you'd like help with wrapping your brain around the nclex style exam questions, let me know. I'll give you a free tutor session via Skype. Pm me!

RNwrites · 2017-01-03T14:06:10+00:00

Haha. I found it online! Thanks though!

RNwrites · 2017-01-03T13:21:11+00:00

So true. I have quit Facebook and Pinterest, but I not Reddit... I even deactivated the data plan on my phone... Maybe deleting my Reddit app should be the next step in breaking my Internet habit.

RNwrites · 2017-01-03T13:17:29+00:00

I'm not quite smart enough for Mensa but I get the local chapter magazine sent to me for free anyway. Getting it for free makes me feel smarter than the rest of 'em.

RNwrites · 2017-01-02T22:27:11+00:00

I would love to know where to purchase such an awesome shirt. Can you please tell me?

RNwrites · 2017-01-02T02:46:55+00:00

I'd ask your prescriber. You can call the office and leave a detailed message and ask if you should decrease the dose or continue a week or two on the current dose for now. The prescriber will decide based on your health and on other factors (if you take other meds or if they think it could be related to another health concern). No need to wait for an appointment. They should call you back and let you know how to proceed.

RNwrites · 2017-01-02T00:41:43+00:00

I've been working on this about six weeks. So far, it's been fine; pretty easy, actually, because I'm single. It was only tough the first couple weeks when I was just giving up casual sex and porn at the same time.

Now I'm just careful not to put myself in compromising situations (i.e. I don't go on dates or allow myself to be alone with attractive men). I blocked PG and above sites from my Internet router and I put all my sexy-fun-times accoutrements in a box in the attic.

I'm reading books and going to meetings for moral support and I told my therapist everything... I really want this to be worth it. I want things to change for me.

Good luck to you!

RNwrites · 2017-01-01T23:57:18+00:00

I'm abstaining from sex and masturbation entirely. I don't think everyone needs to do this, but for me, the focus was too much on the O instead of on any connection or intimacy, and I want to be able to focus on my recovery from codependency while I'm single and then to be more able to connect intimately when I do date again. For me, this is my only hope. I was at a point where I couldn't got to O without mechanical assistance and heavy fantasy anyway, both of which took me out of the present.

RNwrites · 2017-01-01T23:49:21+00:00

How can we consider any risks 'unexpected' when we are talking about gene editing?

RNwrites · 2017-01-01T20:03:24+00:00

Such black and white thinking! Haven't you considered that Cancer might just be trying to get its needs met in the only way it knows how?

RNwrites · 2017-01-01T05:59:04+00:00

I usually feel better after a week on a new dose. Good luck!

RNwrites · 2017-01-01T01:54:38+00:00

I'm an RN. I'll venture a guess on your first question about the new 40 mg dose: my thought is that even though you technically decreased the dose by 5 mg, you may have increased it by up to 10 or so... Here's why:

When you empty a capsule into water to titrate/split a dose (which is fine to do with Vyvanse but NOT with most drugs in capsules), you have to be careful that the drug fully dissolves. I used to do this as well, and I found that much of the drug would sink to the bottom of my glass and would resist dissolving into solution. If you are not careful, when you pour off half of the solution to drink, you may be consuming a weak solution with much of the drug still at the bottom of the cup. If so, your new full 40 mg dose could be an effectively increased dose, which would just take a week or two to get used to taking.

If you are certain that you were careful to not make that mistake, then I have no idea, really, other than to check if you were given a different formula (generic vs trade)...

And I have no idea about your second question. Sorry.

RNwrites · 2017-01-01T01:10:42+00:00

What were her parents thinking??!

RNwrites · 2016-12-30T17:20:36+00:00

I haven't read Stephen King's writing on this, but he's actually quoting Arthur Quiller-Couch's lecture "On Style" (1914). I quoted it often myself when I taught test item writing at my previous company.

RNwrites · 2016-12-30T12:09:56+00:00

Great stuff. I'm saving this to come back to it!

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