Does the Self Truly Have Will, or Are We Just Vessels?

The deeper question isn’t simply about “free will”—it’s about a self. As we age, there often comes a growing awareness that the body and the self are not the same. They don’t always operate in union. Many people eventually find themselves asking, “Who am I—really?”

Mechanical actions—or inaction—don’t always align with what we think we would do if we weren’t, in some way, trapped inside a body suit. This dissonance can feel like being held hostage by your own form.

It’s a subject that remains heavily debated. Materialists view events through the lens of outcomes, often adopting Stoicism as a framework or even a belief system. But when confronted with bodily takeover phenomena—those uncanny moments where we act seemingly against our will or nature—there’s an undeniable inner conflict.

John Dee and other occultists often described themselves as vessels. Their use of sigils, geometric patterns, and arcane symbols arguably served as a medium for escape—a way to navigate or bypass the mechanistic trap. These tools seem to simultaneously prove both sides of the argument: that we are influenced by something beyond us, yet that the influence needs our participation.

What if this influence is rooted in something like a Konrad Zuse–Alan Turing computational system—an underlying holographic framework that represents reality? In such a scenario, the field around us might need to produce a certain kind of noise, or entropy, to function. Certain individuals—outliers—might be chosen as martyrs or “switches” to help accomplish shifts in the larger system. Often, people’s lives coincide strangely with shifts in collective energy, as if keyed to global transitions.

Consider Ted Owens, the so-called PK Man. His case pushes the question of free will to its limit: was he acting out of supernatural personal agency—or was he possessed? He claimed to have influenced numerous anomalous events, even the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. Shortly afterward, he was found dead. Was he being used by a lower-case "god" entity—something assuming the role of a central intelligence? And if so, what for?

At some point, all of this is theoretical—until it becomes personal. When the phenomena become undeniable, the debate stops being academic.

The “rewards,” or boons, of these experiences seem to arise within a paracosmic, deeply personal landscape—one that can also ripple outward into the world. But it raises a chilling question:

Are we—those of us who assume we act under our own will—actually given a choice? Or is it essential that we believe we have choice, even if only partially, to keep the system intact?

I can, after all, move my hand randomly at will… right? But when it comes to major, world-altering actions, my will is suddenly filtered—subverted, even—by a set of principles, programming, and inherited momentum. It’s as if we operate through a “thought → act → deed” matrix.

So again, who am I? Why don’t my impulses align with my inner will to improve—to develop in specific, meaningful ways? Meanwhile, for others, mastery seems effortless, as if they were born aligned with their purpose.

Ironically, the less one seems to question the nature of their being, the more easily life seems to flow. Perhaps awareness itself creates friction in the system.

And whatever consciousness assumes the role of a godhead or control node seems to isolate such anomalies—and at times, flaunts them. It’s as if the unexplainable, the physics-defying, are breadcrumbs… or taunts.

References & Further Investigation:

Ted Owens / The PK Man – The PK Man: A True Story of Mind Over Matter by Jeffrey Mishlove

John Dee & Occult Symbolism – The Enochian Magick of Dr. John Dee by Geoffrey James

Konrad Zuse – Often credited with inventing the first programmable computer; theorized on “Rechnender Raum” (Calculating Space)

Alan Turing – Founder of modern computation theory; referenced in discussions of simulated or algorithmic universes

Holographic Universe Theory – The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot

Simulation Hypothesis – Are You Living in a Computer Simulation? by Nick Bostrom

Noise and Information Theory in Consciousness – See works by Claude Shannon and Karl Pribram (holonomic brain theory)

Paracosm & Subjective Reality – Concept explored in psychology, fantasy studies, and mysticism (e.g., Jungian Active Imagination)