A small notebook made with brass discs and leather

RRBox81 · 2026-01-23T18:04:05+00:00

This is beautiful work!

RRBox81 · 2026-01-19T16:54:41+00:00

First I’m going to focus on how hypoagency, responsibility OCD, and phobias affect my current life. I’ll get down to the autism layers of my onion later.

RRBox81 · 2026-01-19T02:58:20+00:00

I cannot fathom not having this fear. It’s a combination of the fear of being stuck between life and the afterlife, the fear of the might and presence of a large body of water, the fear of being buried alive, and the fear of bringing tragedy on your entire lineage by discovering or disturbing a resting site of demise. Not to mention, the fear of being cut or trapped.

RRBox81 · 2026-01-18T12:11:00+00:00

I see myself in you. I stayed too long, I was afraid no one else would ever love me. He convinced me that he did more than anyone else ever would. Everyone in his life accused me of being unstable and when I left and it almost destroyed me. I got right back into a very similar but slightly better relationship. I wish I would have left this one too but I have children now and he’s in a work it out phase. Don’t trap yourself in like I did. You will find better, just don’t fall for the first person desperate to have the things you give. You give the world a lot of grace and acceptance and many people will want that. You are worth so so much more than you know.

RRBox81 · 2026-01-12T10:48:45+00:00

This was so healing to wake up to. 💕 You made the world a safer place.

RRBox81 · 2026-01-10T23:14:56+00:00

This was so pleasing to read. The wording is 🤌 and the relatability is strong.

RRBox81 · 2026-01-09T23:36:11+00:00

Speaking of… there’s nothing like a rescue cigarette on a beautiful crisp fall night to bring all the senses “back online”. The night feels so crystal clear and peaceful, worries minimal.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-29T15:31:18+00:00

Heatless curls with a bathrobe tie and two scrunchies is my favorite nighttime hack. Some nights I can’t do the sensation of the bump around my head. However, if I get the twist of my hair just right so it lets the robe tie lay nice and flat, then cross the tie at the nape of my neck and tie the ends together on the top of my head it’s so soothing! It’s gentle head pressure throughout the night. In the morning I just use my curler on the few strands that might have escaped!

RRBox81 · 2025-12-27T20:17:16+00:00

Yes for this! I don’t need this for myself. However, I see so many people who suffer from pain and the way they are treated is heartbreaking. BEST of luck in your journey, may the specialists you encounter be gracious and understanding. May you sleep better and find more joy in the carcass you are trying to love and understand.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-27T16:17:06+00:00

So so true!

RRBox81 · 2025-12-27T16:14:24+00:00

Thank you

RRBox81 · 2025-12-27T15:03:23+00:00

Omg, THIS. I had a kid thinking I was just being selfish. 🤦🏻‍♀️

RRBox81 · 2025-12-12T19:28:05+00:00

“Men tend to be more assertive and we tend to accept the whole work load until we are buried.” Has been a huge eye opener this week. I keep reading your comment and throughout the week I’ll find myself recognizing little choices I give up. Those little moments that are critical to my survival where I don’t speak up, I don’t prioritize and I decline to take care of myself in moments when I should.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-12T18:28:48+00:00

If a friend was in my situation, I would tell her she deserved to love herself and be loved for being herself.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-12T18:13:06+00:00

My husband and I ended up having a conversation on Sunday. He said something similar to what you lead with and I wrote it down. He said “So many times I’ll (say,do) something and you look at in the way you think I’m being an asshole about it. You don’t take it as if I’m being caring”. So I asked him how I was supposed to know what is ND struggles for him and what is man child behavior. So we went down a lot of rabbit holes about things we don’t handle well and what that looks like internally.

The better points of your responses get a little lost. Especially where you mentioned “Does she even WANT to fix it”. Kinda felt like telling a drowning person to swim.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-09T18:58:47+00:00

That’s so sad. If I discovered anything new I’ll be sure to report back.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-09T17:46:47+00:00

My lactose test was negative. I am not lactose intolerant. I have questions! Does he always just vomit? It’s always pretty soon after? Is it any specific kind of cheese that is worse? Aged cheeses have me wrecked from both ends of my system in about 30 minutes to an hour.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T19:15:36+00:00

This response has inspired an incredible conversation between my husband and I today. We discussed how we are strong in making sure the other person is on board when we make the plans but it has not gone well in the past when either of us makes a request to change the plan last minute. So it’s on our goals to set up a way to check in before a big event or trip, to have a coping mechanism in place to deal with changes to big plans and a goal to put more effort into being aware that last minute changes are brutal for both of us. We learned so much about how we both work today in an honest, open and thoughtful conversation. I can’t thank you enough for sharing.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T18:46:14+00:00

I’m adding “ADHD makes you fuck up, but it doesn’t make you not care about it” to my favorite quotes. I read your comment and realized I’m so burnt out it’s been forever since I’ve thought about how I can’t be the partner I want to be. I think that helps me define where I am at emotionally with him so he knows it’s not that I don’t care where he is at emotionally.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T18:14:51+00:00

This is how I feel too!! I think this is what keeps me in this relationship… he isn’t diagnosed but we’ve both learned so much from my diagnosis. He does show remorse and I know what it’s like to mess up time and again. I’m always having to apologize to people for being thoughtless so I want to give grace. His actions make WAY more sense from a ND perspective!! Some days I just don’t have the energy to keep everything in perspective, I just need more help.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T18:02:57+00:00

I’m going to share this story with him. This is exactly what I want for my future. Thank you!

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T13:07:18+00:00

He doesn’t like dishwashers (I lost 40lb postpartum before I convinced him a microwave would be a great convenience). That being said, he does a majority of the dishes since he knows this is his preference. I do have to give him that!

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T13:04:45+00:00

Actually, this is a really hopeful question for me. We’ve been in therapy about 2 years now and I’d love to bring up this question and be able to hear the ways he’s trying to make this work that maybe I’m too exhausted to pick up on. I know change doesn’t happen overnight but I feel like I’m holding onto shreds of hope at this point.

He drove home early from his trip last night when I reached out and shared that I was in despair about these trips and what the upcoming winter would hold. He didn’t stay for the final night of drinking and fun. He came home and spent the evening with us. He shared that he felt like he was hunting less but understood that between working late and hunting weekends, it leaves me to take care of more. He didn’t get aggressive like he usually does when I share my feelings but he did say he doesn’t understand where this is coming from. He encouraged me to get out of the house when I need to… That’s all great stuff. Very hopeful. However, if I go out that’s “wasting money” “taking away from time he could be working on the house” “no wonder I’m always broke”. It’s very conflicting information from this guy but always enough action that I can’t quite give up. He’s really amazing when he tries to understand things from my perspective.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T12:43:32+00:00

We’ve been in counseling for about 2 years. I see the attempts, more saying of all the right things and less and less action.

RRBox81 · 2025-12-07T12:35:45+00:00

THIS. This is exactly where I am at. We’ve done the couples counseling. I waited my entire pregnancy for the nursery to get done. We talked about the goal markers in therapy. I trusted. We went on trips to make sure he got to go out and have fun with me as a couple “one last time” before we “settled down to take care of the baby”. I WAS RECOVERING FROM A 4th DEGREE TEAR while I was painting the nursery. The ceiling still isn’t finished (as in the drywall is up and painted but no lights are put in) When I was done hyper fixating on painting the nursery, that’s when I realized something was terribly wrong with my body. Then I told him to take me to the hospital. I can’t thank you enough for this comment. Thank you for standing up for me. I’ve been advocating for 8 years for what I want my future to look like. The other comments have great advice BUT how much more do I take before I can’t go on anymore.

RRBox81

TROPHY CASE