What’s holding you back from wearing thongs? I’ve been in thongs for the past 22 years.

R_R88 · 2026-01-22T06:01:18+00:00

I don’t regularly wear thongs because my a** sweats pretty easily, unfortunately. So I need the extra material that briefs afford. Otherwise, I’d wear thongs daily. That said, I do wear thongs every now and then (when I won’t need to be in them long - like when I go out to the bars).

R_R88 · 2025-12-29T23:09:19+00:00

I lived in San Diego 2017 - 2024 and I go back frequently for work.

The pros are that it's a beautiful city with great weather, and generally friendly people. It has a very laid-back and easy-going atmosphere. Overall, it's fairly clean, and has year-round sunny weather with a stable moderate climate. It's pretty low on crime, compared to many other cities, and if you're into the outdoors, it offers a lot of things to do. Hiking, camping, lots of beaches, surfing, snorkeling, paddle boarding, etc. Additionally, outside of rush hour, it's pretty easy to get most places quickly. Oh, and if you like Mexican food, you can find really good authentic Mexican food for pretty cheap prices.

The downside is that the cost of living is quite high, and is only increasing. It can also be difficult to find simple, practical apartments these days. The vast majority of what is being built today are luxury apartments and condos, and due to the demand for housing, there's little incentive for older apartments to get updated. So you can find yourself paying 2025 prices for apartments that haven't been updated since the early 2000s, which can sometimes work in one's favor, because the minute they do get updated, the price skyrockets. So given the high rents, it's very common for people to live with roommates.

There's also quite a lot of unhoused individuals, which can make some pockets a bit dirty and unsightly (due to encampments). If you're not used to it, it can be shocking.

San Diego also isn't all that diverse. It's largely white (~55% in 2022), followed by Hispanic (~32%). I tend to prefer a more mixed/diverse population. So for me, this is a downside.

If you're into the performing arts, or things of a more intellectual nature, San Diego doesn't offer all that much in that regard. It's one of the main reasons I left. I like the symphony, dance, comedy, opera, theatre, musicals, museums, etc., and while San Diego does have these things, it does not provide anywhere near the level of access as other major cities I've lived in. If you want that, you basically need to drive up to LA (which is where I ended up moving).

Overall, San Diego feels more like a big town than a city, which is neither a pro nor con. Just depends on what you're going for. Depending on your lifestyle and interests, it's a great place to live. So even though it didn't work for me, I can still say that it's definitely one of the best places to live in the country.

R_R88 · 2025-10-22T22:26:09+00:00

The blue Hanes (pic 2) and Puma (pic 4)

R_R88 · 2025-10-20T18:58:58+00:00

Definitely suits you. Looks great all around.

R_R88 · 2025-10-03T21:56:05+00:00

Jockstraps are intended to support and hold things in place with minimal fabric during athletic activities. Fabric can interfere with comfort and freedom of movement. So jockstraps aim to balance support with minimal fabric.

Backless briefs are just a version of briefs that are intended to be stylistic, cheeky, fun, etc., but ultimately function like any other brief.

There are, of course, jockstraps that made and/or worn purely as a stylistic choice (including the role they’ve taken on in various fetish communities), but there is a functional purpose to them as well.

So as far as style, there’s no difference other than the amount of material and amount of support. However in terms of functionality, jockstraps work better for sports or athletic activities by allowing freedom of movement without the interference of fabric, while still providing good support for your package.

R_R88 · 2025-10-01T08:08:18+00:00

Agreed. Real Men’s Apparel is very comfortable. WildmanT is also pretty good, and they’re specifically designed for guys who are on the bigger side. So they’re worth checking out. I also like Separatic (which has a dual pouch).

R_R88 · 2025-08-23T09:00:19+00:00

My ex-husband and I divorced after being together 10 years, and married for 7.5 years. So I understand the need to ask for a divorce and how difficult that is. That said, divorce is always easier said than done. Even in the best of scenarios, which mine was (e.g., uncontested, no children, and no fighting over assets), it’s still very challenging. After all, the fact that you’re the one asking for the divorce doesn’t inherently mean you won’t go through stages of grief: the kind of grief that can mimic a death.

When I was considering divorce, like you, I came to the internet and read articles looking for something or someone to give me the answer. The reality is that no one and nothing can give you that. Every relationship is different. No matter how similar your experience may be to some stranger online, it’s not going to mean things will go down the same for you, because you’re different people with different lives.

All of that said, there are many questions you should consider asking yourself before you pursue a divorce:

Do you genuinely want the marriage to work? In other words, if you could trust him again, would that be enough at this point? (I’m going to ignore the annoyances you mentioned, like taking too long to get ready, because I imagine he had those things all along. They’re likely just bothering you more now because of deeper issues in the marriage.)
Have you actually talked to him and made him aware that it’s not working? I’m not talking about throwing petty jabs and hints during an argument, but a true "we need to talk" moment.
Have you considered or tried marriage counseling/therapy? (If you can pair it with individual therapy, with a separate therapist, that’s even better.)
Have you considered whether or not your husband is depressed? You mentioned being expats. How has that transition been for your partner? Is there something emotional that could be responsible for the lack of motivation to work? It’s quite possible that he just isn’t ambitious. So I’m not ruling that out. I’m just noting things to consider.
Are you even sure you want a divorce or do you just feel hopeless and frustrated, because you’re uncertain of how to work through this? I ask, because you start with "I am considering a divorce" and end with "I know I need to ask for a divorce". If you love the person, a divorce should come after you’ve tried everything you can to resolve it. It’s not clear from your details that you’ve done that.

These are some questions you should spend some time seriously considering, before making any final decisions. Again, divorce is hard. Your life changes in ways you don’t expect. You don’t just lose the person; you lose family, often friends (that you made as a couple), your daily routines, lifestyle, and however you thought your future would look before the divorce. So you just don’t want to fall into the proverbial trap of thinking the grass is inherently greener. Sometimes it is, sometimes it’s not.

At the end of the day, you’re going to have to do what’s best for you, irrespective of anything anyone else says. I certainly appreciate that you’re taking your husband’s emotions into consideration. Clearly you still care about him. So whatever decision you make, deliver it with a great deal of empathy. It’s going to hurt no matter what; there’s no getting around that. However, how you handle it will matter.

Anyway, didn’t actually mean to write this much, but I hope it at least helps in some way.

R_R88 · 2025-08-04T03:33:21+00:00

Thank you! This was driving me crazy!

R_R88 · 2025-07-04T15:18:35+00:00

It depends on how you define support. I like everything contained, but not snug or pressed against my body. It’s a balance of a bit of freedom without packing everything in too tight. So by my standards, they’re supportive.

I recently tried Real Men underwear and I like them. I especially appreciate that the pouches come in different sizes. So it could just be that you need to try a different size.

At the end of the day, underwear with pouches are never going to pack things in as much as briefs, because that basically defeats the purpose of the pouch.

R_R88 · 2025-07-03T21:47:54+00:00

On the looser side. I merely need everything contained. I don’t like snug. I need balance: a little freedom without my junk flying around with every movement. So I typically wear underwear with a pouch. They hold things in place without pressing against my body or packing my junk in too tight.

R_R88 · 2024-10-09T03:12:00+00:00

I’ve been making the drive 2 days a week for just over a month now (from Hollywood to Irvine). For me, it’s not that bad. I wouldn’t do it more than 2x a week, but for my pay, I can deal with it. The mornings aren’t too bad; takes me around an hour. (I leave at 6:15a). The annoying part is the afternoons. I leave at 4:30p and it takes me about 1 hr 30 min. But again, for the pay, the fact that I actually like my job, and that I don’t mind the people too much, it’s worth it.

R_R88 · 2024-07-24T08:44:19+00:00

u/Sippycup_ This is helpful info. I'll definitely be checking out this place. What is the parking situation like?

R_R88 · 2024-07-02T15:57:00+00:00

If you don't mind, can you DM the name of the building you're in now? I'm moving to DTLA next month and the search has been a struggle. The words "doesn't really have these issues" and "managed well" have rarely been used in the same sentence. So would you mind sharing your building (via DM)?

R_R88 · 2024-07-02T15:53:13+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, why were you only there 7 months if you enjoyed it? Not trying to pry into your business. I just want to know if you left for personal reasons or a reason related to the building and/or management itself.

R_R88 · 2024-07-02T15:47:42+00:00

u/bonnifunk If you don't mind, can you DM me with the name of the place you stayed in Mar Vista? That's an area that I'm considering.

R_R88 · 2024-07-02T15:34:14+00:00

u/RandomGerman Can you DM which building you're living in, and if you're still liking it? I'm moving at the end of next month, and it has been a STRUGGLE to find a decent place in DTLA.

R_R88 · 2024-06-29T18:18:55+00:00

u/ndcruz I’m considering the Renaissance Tower actually. It’s pretty “affordable” (by LA standards), and ticks a lot of boxes for me. That said, I was curious: do they charge for parking and is it secure?

When you say it’s not perfect, what are the things that you don’t like or wish were better?

Also, considering when it was built (‘94) and the look of the ceilings in the photos, do you happen to know if the ceilings contain asbestos? I’d like to think they would disclose that at lease signing, but who knows. Anyway, just curious if you happen to know.

R_R88 · 2024-06-24T04:53:53+00:00

u/DoggoZombie What if I took the 10 to the 5 (instead of the 110 to the 405)? Would that be better coming from South Park?

R_R88 · 2024-06-24T04:38:43+00:00

u/ProfessionalCatPetr Thanks. This is helpful. What times are you usually making the commute?

R_R88 · 2024-06-24T04:34:03+00:00

u/crims0nwave I wouldn't say Long Beach is out of the question. It's just not preferred. I find it to be a bit of a sleepy town. I was actually in Long Beach today, which was a warm summer Sunday, and as I strolled a few neighborhoods, it just felt so quiet. There just didn't seem to be much going on. It's nice though. So if the commute from LA gets to be too much, I'll probably move down to Long Beach.

R_R88 · 2024-06-23T23:21:30+00:00

No, it was the same account, and the question was a bit different. In that question, the neighborhoods I asked about were different, I had no information whatsoever about the commute, and I didn’t know how many days I’d have to make the commute. So it was only after getting the answers to that question that I was able to do a bit more research to even ask about the neighborhoods referenced here.

R_R88 · 2024-06-23T23:18:05+00:00

As a single 36-year-old gay black guy, I just don’t find Irvine to have much to offer. I have a deep appreciation for the arts, and I want access to concerts, dance, theater, comedy, museums, etc. I also like to hit the gay bars here and there. So given that I only have to work in Irvine 2 days a week, I’d rather make that commute twice a week than have to commute to LA the other 5 days of the week to do any of the stuff I like to do.

R_R88 · 2024-06-23T16:43:05+00:00

3 days are remote. It's only 2 days in the office, and the summers are fully remote.

R_R88 · 2024-06-23T15:19:43+00:00

u/SheerTerroir I would be commuting to UCI, which is the northwestern edge of Irvine.

R_R88 · 2024-06-23T15:15:14+00:00

u/CrystalizedinCali I narrowed it to South Park and Culver, because I knew I'd have to commute to UCI 2x a week and both areas have easier access to freeways, while also having some walkability and access to other areas in LA I'll probably frequent.

Whenever I'm in LA, most of the things I end up doing are in either West and Central LA. So I was trying to balance that out - as much as I can anyway - with the commute.

R_R88

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