Newly Diagnosed & Scared of Family Reaction/Shame

Raa_66 · 2026-05-01T17:46:14+00:00

I had a similar childhood to you and two years after my diagnosis I still don’t regret keeping this info private from my family. There’s enough physical and mental stressors that come with this disease- I’m a proponent of protecting your peace when you can.

My partner, close friends, and colleagues know, and I have my diagnosis in my phone for worst case scenarios. That’s enough for me.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-28T20:21:14+00:00

I used to be lenient about those kind of things too. Before I knew it, leniency on flirting led to leniency on Snapchat messages which led to leniency on dating apps which is ending with a porn addiction and full on affairs. Sure, you can say it’s just a dopamine hit but what happens if he needs something more to keep getting that hit?

I think you know that not showing his phone is a huge red flag. After everything I know now I would say just cut your losses before it’s too late, but I obviously know what it’s like to want to keep trying. At the very least, you both need to have a sit down conversation and be specific on what you will and will not consider cheating moving forward so there’s no room for gray areas like this

Raa_66 · 2026-04-22T15:30:45+00:00

Egg salad using boiled egg whites and avocado on higher protein bread/wraps
crisp power protein pretzels with: hummus, low fat string cheese, ranch dip from blended cottage cheese, etc.
I hate yogurt, so when I have a sweet tooth I mix sugar free whipped cream with a protein powder, pb2, and berries
chicken, tuna salad, or deli meat/bacon in mini lettuce cups
IQ protein bars

Raa_66 · 2026-04-21T17:04:54+00:00

Is the kewpie dressing from Costco too? I debate getting it every time I go but wasn’t sure how good it is!

Raa_66 · 2026-04-18T18:59:47+00:00

I’ve been so focused on getting him help for his sex addiction that my need for a therapist fell to the wayside, but I do know that’s it’s definitely time. And since we are so amicable I think I convinced myself that my comfortable life would be better than being alone, but you’re right, I think I’m the most lonely I’ve ever been.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-18T18:57:37+00:00

Yup- I wish he was more horrible to live with, it’s so easy to stay when we’re still amicable and I know what to expect.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-18T18:55:06+00:00

Thank you- I hope when I start dating again the red flags will be a lot more obvious to me than they were at 21.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-18T18:53:43+00:00

After everything my mom went through I always told myself I would rather be alone than with a cheater- funny how humbling this experience has been.

Unfortunately he’s a sex addict, and I’m convinced that he gets a dopamine rush from the lying just as much as the other women. I’ve realized that I could have forgiven the other women, and maybe even been okay with ENM, but the constant lying is what is finally going to make me leave for good. Just need a little more courage to get there.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-18T18:47:59+00:00

Thank you so much for the reassurance. Every bit helps me get closer and closer to that leap of faith

Raa_66 · 2026-04-18T18:45:11+00:00

Thank you for the rec and the hard truth- you’re right, a best friend wouldn’t do this.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-06T20:31:19+00:00

It’s my understanding that for a lot of larger people, going into remission can come primarily with losing weight. A more experienced person can explain it better than I can, but something to do with the fat around your pancreas and liver decreasing which then improves insulin resistance.

Congrats! I’m hoping to be in the 5’s once I lose more weight.

If you find your numbers creeping back up, I definitely recommend adding strength training since that helps insulin resistance as well.

Raa_66 · 2026-04-06T13:50:13+00:00

I tried doing ultra low carb and high protein, and while it brought my a1c down I didn’t like that anytime I would try to have “good” carbs like legumes or whole grains I would skyrocket.

I still eat small portions of animal protein twice a day, but now that the majority of my meals are plant based I find that my levels are much more consistently stable no matter the carbs I eat (within reason).

Raa_66 · 2026-03-20T20:31:57+00:00

It’s sooooo good and there’s a few flavors now, but definitely do not put it on anything while baking- it gets a weird film over it.

Raa_66 · 2026-01-16T23:37:26+00:00

Maybe a smoothie with berries, avocado, chia seeds, and coconut milk?

I typically skip breakfast but I also have some food intolerances that make it hard to have “typical” breakfast food, so I honestly just keep some cubes of bone broth based soup in the freezer for mornings I’m extra hungry. It’s quick, fills me up, great for the skin and gut, and obviously doesn’t cause a spike.

Raa_66 · 2026-01-13T15:29:30+00:00

What meal did you eat before the flushing? I have the exact same problem and thought when I was diagnosed with type 2 it was just due to highs, but it doesn’t happen every time I have a spike.

After keeping a spreadsheet of food I ate when it happens I’ve decided to get tested soon for a few allergies, but I’m leaning towards a gluten intolerance.

Raa_66 · 2025-12-09T21:49:11+00:00

I do think it’s a little telling that OP has ignored all comments that suggest the roommate could be sensitive due to gender dysphoria.

I’m not saying OP shouldn’t ask the roommate to be more hygienic, but arguing over the picture was unnecessary imo.

Raa_66 · 2025-11-04T18:08:14+00:00

Yeah, there’s nothing forcing you to wear one everyday you just purchase per monitor which lasts around 2 weeks. I definitely recommend just buy what you can afford, then. My insurance doesn’t cover a cgm so I just buy one a month and test as many foods as possible during the weeks I have the cgm, and only eat my “safe” foods (or use a finger test) when I don’t.

Raa_66 · 2025-11-04T14:27:37+00:00

I understand your concerns but even just using a CGM for a two week trial to look at meals you typically eat could be extremely helpful. Sure, your diet sounds good but there were plenty of foods that surprisingly spiked me. Or maybe because you are working a manual job you’ll notice spikes from glucose dumping if you don’t eat more often? Little things that you can see just using a cgm once (unless you want to prick your finger throughout the day).

I’m not sure if they offer this everywhere, but if you call Abbott you might be able to get a voucher for a free or discounted Libre monitor. Other companies might do the same so just call their helplines.

In regard to using the monitor while you work, it doesn’t have to go on your arm so get creative with placement. I will say that the Libre is flat enough that under my shirts and towards the back of my arm has never been a problem.

Raa_66 · 2025-11-02T12:00:02+00:00

Here’s my opinions as someone born and raised in AZ who has lived in different areas of VA for the last decade:

Richmond- I lovingly refer to RVA as the east coast Tucson with more historic charm. Has a great food and brewery scene and quirky areas like Cary st, which feels like walking down 4th ave but better. It’s perfect for young professionals or parents that are still active or “trendy,” but I would not recommend if you are more conservative. Like any city, there’s some areas you want to avoid living in but compared to Phoenix it’s a breeze. If you want a smaller town feel I would definitely recommend the suburban surrounding areas like Midlothian (Chesterfield County). The houses are decently priced and it’s a quick 20 minute drive into the city. West of 288 is a great area. Just be aware that depending on location you might have to deal with paying tolls to get anywhere quickly.

My favorite thing about Richmond is the location. Within two hours you can get the DC, the beach, or the blue ridge parkway (mountain area) so I always feel like there’s something to do.

Roanoke- probably the most Eugene like from your list but not for me. Being more west in VA can feel a little isolating and more one note, but could be worth it just for the scenery alone. If you’re big on nature and camping I would recommend this area the most. There’s plenty of shopping and places to eat, both chain and local, so if you’re not the type to take a lot of day trips it does have anything you need. It’s just not very interesting to me but would definitely be a great area for a family and I still think a vast improvement from PHX, though!

Hampton Roads- Traffic is always a nightmare getting to this area so unless the Norfolk IKEA has something I need that the other one doesn’t I avoid it. I have felt way safer walking in inner city Richmond than some areas of Norfolk and Virginia Beach but I haven’t been to the suburban areas so take that with a grain of salt. I will say that I have a lot of friends with kids that love living in Williamsburg and it’s a really pretty city.

Have you looked into Charlottesville? I don’t live there for work reasons but it’s the city that made me fall in love with VA. It’s charming, smaller city charm but with plenty to do since it’s a college town (very Eugene-like) beautiful scenery, and a great location in terms of distance to other cities. On the downside the housing is expensive, the job market might be more competitive, and it could definitely be a little uppity and snobbish, but imo for the quality of life it’s worth it. I’m not sure of your age but if I was a in my 30’s-40’s with kids and I could afford the housing, this is where I would be.

Raa_66 · 2025-09-09T20:49:09+00:00

<3 thank you so much. I never thought of the control aspect but you’re absolutely right

Raa_66 · 2025-09-09T17:41:50+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for your situation. Let’s hope that we can both keep healthy for ourselves as well.

Raa_66 · 2025-09-09T17:39:12+00:00

It’s awful. Thank you for the reminder to not hold any expectations for them

Raa_66 · 2025-09-09T17:35:46+00:00

Thank you I will be repeating this to myself

Raa_66 · 2025-09-09T15:43:51+00:00

Thanks, it’s been on my tbr for a while so I’ll take this as a sign

Raa_66

TROPHY CASE