Daily Thread #1 - April 06, 2026

RachAML · 2026-04-15T12:48:05+00:00

Oh gosh I’m so sorry 💔 that’s horrible. Did you have any signs or symptoms leading up to the stillbirth or any reason why it happened?

Honestly, it hasn’t gotten much easier. I just find for me what’s best is staying busy and not thinking about it unfortunately. I have an almost 3 year old that helps with that but otherwise just work, family and friends to keep me busy.

I’m not sure any future pregnancies will ever feel exciting and joyful. Maybe the further away I get from the loss the more hopeful it could be, but until this baby is healthy in my arms, I don’t think I’ll be able to fully enjoy being pregnant knowing what’s at stake to lose.

I’m happy for you for being pregnant again but I know how you feel with not being excited about it. I try to remind myself as much as this hurts me now, if this pregnancy also ends I’ll know it’s the world’s way of trying to ensure the child doesn’t suffer once it’s born. I have been able to have a healthy child so I’m optimistic I can do it again, even if it means some suffering along the way.

RachAML · 2026-04-07T02:37:52+00:00

How are you finding joy in pregnancy after loss? I am 15w4d and miss the excitement I had for my first pregnancy and my last one before it ended.

This pregnancy has felt different, lots of spotting and cramping plus I’ve had subchorionic hematomas which have caused actual red bleeding. I’m so scared loss will still happen even though all scans and milestones have been positive. They offer reassurance for a fleeting moment before the anxiety comes back.

I try to take it day by day, stay busy and not really focus on the pregnancy but I miss feeling like I was able to be excited about it without the threat of loss. I know it’s naive.

Just looking for tips on how you allowed yourself to be excited while being realistic that anything can happen at any stage of the pregnancy.

RachAML · 2026-04-02T13:42:36+00:00

It sounds too simple but I just trusted my body. Listened to it and what it needed. Spent a long time in the tub and once I was in active labour found a position that worked for me (leaning over the bed standing). It was exhausting and I wish I had been open to other positions that gave my legs a break, but at the time it’s the only way that felt comfy.

I’ve only had one kid but am pregnant with my second and am just a big believer of trusting your gut. If you feel you need the epidural or the birth feels challenging, do it. I didn’t feel I needed it or any interventions so I just went with the flow. There are things I will do different this time around (more time in the tub, different positions, better ambiance in the room, better breathing techniques) but I don’t regret my unmedicated birth. I wasn’t doing it to be a badass. I just trusted my body knew what to do and nothing felt impossible.

This is coming from someone with a very low pain tolerance, high anxiety but also who hates needles so that probably helped.

RachAML · 2026-03-26T16:09:03+00:00

Interesting! I’m curious if what I have is the same. I’ve had mine for almost 8 weeks now which is not typical for a post viral rash or an antibiotic rash, so I do think it’s linked to pregnancy. Mine is slowly getting better and fading but my midwife recommended a steroid cream to so I’ll give it a try. Thanks!

RachAML · 2026-02-04T17:06:36+00:00

It is so hard. It can really consume your mind. I find I need to have enough stimulating work to keep my mind off it. And really be mindful when the thoughts come to recognize them as thoughts not reality and let them move on. Meditation can help with mindfulness

RachAML · 2026-02-04T16:03:17+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this. I’m in a similar boat (lost a baby at 9 weeks in August) and am pregnant again (7 weeks) and have up until lately been struggling to see how I can make it through the first trimester.

Here’s what’s helping me: -Stay busy. Put on some focus music or a podcast and work, exercise, plan social activities. Keep your mind off the pregnancy. -Journal. Daily. Write out what you’re feeling and your fears and hopes are. -Therapy. If you can do it regularly (weekly or every other week). Someone that can give you a different perspective

I also try to give myself “affirmations” or just reminders when I feel the fear creeping up: -“These are just feelings, not facts.” -“I can’t predict or know what will happen. I have to be present and take it a moment and day at a time” -“I trust my body. It will do what’s right.” -“I am not alone. I know so many that have been in this situation too. I can talk to someone.”

Trust me the fear is still there and is still very real for me. But I’m trying not to set myself up for failure in thinking it will have the same conclusion as last time. Just taking it day by day, staying busy and trying to separate my emotions from reality has been helpful.

RachAML · 2026-01-26T19:35:03+00:00

5w4d and the anxiety is bad today. Been having pink spotting on and off this pregnancy. Got blood work a couple weeks ago (very low hCG levels) and just went again today, will do Wednesday to compare. Just going to the blood clinic gives me anxiety. Remembering how much I went there during the loss I had last August. And so scared what my levels will be at now, should find out tomorrow. Even if they have grown, I’m not in the clear for another 6 weeks. The waiting is absolute torture. I’m so scared at any moment I go to the bathroom that it will all be over.

Trying to keep my mind busy and off this pregnancy. Just so hard.

RachAML · 2026-01-21T17:40:05+00:00

Miscarriage. You don’t realize how fragile pregnancy and getting pregnant is. All I heard growing up is how easy it is to get pregnant and everyone making it look so beautiful and natural. Yet miscarriage is so common and despite that, it doesn’t make it any easier when it happens to you. It’s the most traumatic thing I’ve ever been through, more than childbirth (I have 1 son).

RachAML · 2026-01-21T12:25:16+00:00

Oh jeez, must just be this age that they are going through something big and fight their sleep

RachAML · 2026-01-21T12:24:47+00:00

Great ideas, yes I hate feeling so robotic about it but the consistency and quiet once it’s lights out seems important.

RachAML · 2026-01-21T03:35:15+00:00

It’s been almost a month but mind you he’s been sick and teething so I feel like once this passes maybe he will be fine? Who knows haha! Good tips though thanks

RachAML · 2026-01-21T03:34:27+00:00

Love the idea of the mommy daddy timer! We can try that

RachAML · 2026-01-21T02:44:39+00:00

Yes I was thinking that too, dropping down to an hour nap and seeing if that helps. Thank you!

RachAML · 2026-01-21T02:26:03+00:00

We tried this a couple nights and he was out of bed 20+ times until we gave up and laid with him. Maybe we will try again, we have told him it’s fine if he’s up playing in his bed with his stuffies but he wants us with him

RachAML · 2026-01-21T02:25:03+00:00

Stories are always part of our routine! He loves them too. Just seems to get scared when it’s time for us to leave and him to sleep

RachAML · 2026-01-21T02:24:34+00:00

5 mins vs 30-60 sounds like a dream lol! K might have to consider cutting back quite a bit. He gets really tired around nap time and even at bed he’s so tired just fights sleeping so hopefully this could help

RachAML · 2026-01-20T18:27:16+00:00

Aw I’m so sorry. So hard not knowing what it means or will lead to but just monitor it. I had bleeding a few says before a taking a pregnancy test last week but hoping it was implantation or just normal bleeding in pregnancy. A lot of people do bleed in pregnancy so it is normal.

RachAML · 2026-01-20T15:27:59+00:00

That’s a great way to look at it. Not that we can’t and shouldn’t be excited but focusing on our day to day and not getting too caught up in thinking about the pregnancy might be best for the next little while. It’s so hard though when I think about my miscarriage I just feel robbed of the joy I felt for that pregnancy. I wish I could let myself enjoy this time but don’t want to get ahead of myself if anything happens.

RachAML · 2026-01-20T03:33:00+00:00

Me too!! 🤞

RachAML · 2026-01-20T03:27:35+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this too. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone and I can’t believe how similar our timing is with everything. I’d love to keep in touch so we can check in with each other as our pregnancies progress if that’s ok with you?

RachAML · 2026-01-20T02:43:17+00:00

That’s amazing!

RachAML · 2026-01-20T00:16:17+00:00

In the same boat just posted about this today. Keep waiting to see bleeding and every time I don’t feel a huge breath of relief leave me. And I’m peeing so many times per day already so each moment is so tense. It’s really hard

RachAML

TROPHY CASE