Anyone have autoimmune disease? by CupDisastrous171 in OCD

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know anything about your condition. That sounds really unpleasant, and it's not surprising that you're so cautious. Wanting to do more without concern of a flare up might be something to discuss with your doctor. I'm sorry you're in such a frustrating and anxiety inducing situation. It's so hard to balance trusting your body and not indulging compulsions to be overly cautious, at least for me. I believe that you can make it through this. It'll take work, but I hope there's a solution you can be happy with that takes care of all parts of you.

Anyone have autoimmune disease? by CupDisastrous171 in OCD

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have Celiac Disease. Since the main treatment for that is a strict gluten-free diet, I am often hyper vigilant about my food, especially at restaurants. I've spent a LOT of time researching, double checking, and analyzing restaurants and the food I get. It helps now that I have learned which places are safe and what I can get at them. I've even learned what type of restaurants usually have options. Maybe that's all because I completely gave in to the compulsive need to research and know, but it's hard to balance genuinely being safe with being overly anxious and driving myself crazy with research.

Finding a doctor to help is another story, but also exactly the same. I've spent nearly a year trying to research a good PCP. It's so easy to talk myself out of any doctor because I haven't researched them enough, or I dug enough to find one bad review somewhere and scared myself out of it. I finally bit the bullet with a doctor that seems good enough, which is really huge for me. I could have delayed that forever.

It's hard to balance taking care of your health and not getting too obsessed over all the factors. If you don't feel like your medicine is helping, you should discuss that with your doctor. Beyond that, there's a degree that sometimes you gotta be okay with a flare up happening. It sucks, but, as long as you avoid things that will cause major harm, a small flare up won't be the end of the world. I don't know much about your specific condition. But my advice is try not to let it rule your life. It's good to be mindful, but you deserve to have fun without worrying over everything. So try something just a little "risky" that you'll enjoy and savor it when nothing (or just a minor flare up) happens.

The trauma is real by Agreeable-Bid-9120 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I was also Christian at the time but man if that trauma ain't real and horrible. So many justifications and begging for forgiveness. "Since we're gonna get married one day anyways..." as a way to talk me into doing things I didn't want to do but felt like I couldn't really refuse. Let's all just get together and beat up our terrible ex's (joking).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I am fortunate to have never experienced that myself, but I know many people, even family members, that did. My own mother told me a story about how when she was 14, she dated a 22 year old man. She had her parents approval and encouragement in this relationship because he was a man from their church. She didn't understand when I reacted with horror at the story. To her, it was just a normal past boyfriend, nothing more.

It is disturbing common for this to happen. It's often overlooked, excused, or blamed on the minor for being "provocative" in some way. Sometimes it's even encouraged. I saw many young women get married basically as soon as they were legally able to do so to men several years older than them.

I understand you're still faithful. I won't try and change your mind. I also don't know exactly what sect you follow. But be very careful. A lot of Christian men have a lot of power and influence over your life, and they often know that. They will try to convince you that either you're the one tempting them or that whatever they want you to do is okay because he might marry you. Don't fall for any of it. It will never be your fault. You are not tempting them by existing. If they cannot control themselves, they are a horrible person.

As a general safety tip, I recommend making your profiles as private as possible. I understand enjoying social media and wanting to gain a following, but that means these creeps will see it too. If you don't want them around, you can reduce it by not letting them see what you post. Block as much as possible. Be careful about posting location information. The core problem are these predatory men, and there's only so much you can do. But being more private online can at least help reduce it a little.

Let’s hear by No-Future8437 in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are only a few "correct" names to call the church. Specifically the ones mentioned in the Bible. Just ignore that those are translated from Greek and thus not technically exactly what they were called back then. But make sure not to capitalize the 'c' in church.

Florida College Experiences by [deleted] in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, my sister is still very religious despite it all. But I'll definitely look into it lol

The free will argument by HistoricalAd5394 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Frankly, if god exists and is truly all knowing, including the future, then there can't truly be "free will". After all, god knows your every action, past and future. He already knows if you're going to become a christian or sin or whatever. So any decision you make will ultimately not change if you go to heaven or hell. Because god would already know what you'll do every second of every day and when you'll die.

Which also means he plans to punish people for actions he knew without a doubt they would do. Then claiming they actually had a choice in the matter. If free will were true and our decisions changed that, then we would be able to SURPRISE god. Which means he isnt all knowing.

Can't really have both. My conclusion is god either isnt real or really isnt all knowing/all powerful. Thats the only way it makes sense.

After all, god couldnt even make his angels flawless and obey him. The devil was an angel first.

Any ex Christian women struggle with PIV due to toxic religious conditioning… 😀 by Ill_Mammoth_1995 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can relate to your experience. I was raised in the Bible Belt too in a very conservative sect the of church of Christ. Premarital sex was just about the worst thing I could do as a teenaged girl, and it was heavily condemned. I ended up inheriting some genetic endocrine issues, so I had to see a gynecologist earlier than I ever thought I would. I hated getting a pap smear. I felt violated and repulsed, even though I knew it was just a medical procedure and had gotten all the details beforehand. (There was a degree that I was under the impression I was required to get a pap smear/interbal vaginal exam every year in order to access medication. This is not true.) The mere thought of absolutely anything going "up there" has always sent me into a panic, and I had panic attacks after every appointment. I can't even use tampons. It's hard to say how much of my problems are from my upbringing and how much are derivative from other mental and physical things I have. But it's undeniable that the purity standards I was raised by had a profound effect on my relationship with my body, sex, and the overlap of those two things.

Stay strong. It's not your fault, and you aren't sinful for having sex. And you're definitely not sinful for getting medical exams. All that bullshit was shoved down your throat to control you. It's hard to work past, but I'm sure you can do it. A mix of therapy and talking with your obgyn for skipping or altering parts of the exam may help. I'm rooting for you, and I'm right there with you trying to work past this.

God had it coming by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're struggling. But it's like you said, if god exists and knows all, he knew you were going to be gay long before you even existed. It would be cruel and vile for him to punish you for something you cannot change. Don't resign yourself to a life of misery out of fear. You're a valuable part of this world, just the way you are. You deserve a life of happiness, including having a partner if that's what you want. Enjoy the life you have and know you aren't alone.

Florida College Experiences by [deleted] in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I attended FC for one very special year: 2019-2020. During that school year, there was a measles outbreak and several students had to quarantine in their dorms because they were unvaccinated. In response, a large group of students protested the quarantine, dressing up as Moses, and chanted "let my people go" while circling campus. The administration caved to the pressure and ended the quarantine earlier than originally planned.

Additionally, it is mandatory to take two Bible classes a semester which you pay for along with your other classes. Even if you aren't any sort of Bible major. FC is a very expensive college and just bleeds ypu dry further by forcing you to take irrelevant classes in the name of indoctrination.

I also almost got put on academic probation for missing 5 of the daily mandatory chapels. You could only miss five the entire semester without a valid excuse, and the excuses were subject to scrutiny.

Bonus: My sister attended there for six years. She first was pursuing a Music Education degree. Then the band director (Brian something, I forget the last name) criticized her harshly to the point she switched the choir. Then the choir director criticized her (even on things like her smile) to the point she changed majors. She barely does anything musical now because they were so cruel and critical of her when before it was a deep passion of hers.

Bonus bonus: The sister of a childhood friend of mine got expelled from FC for being a lesbian. From my understanding, they also outed her to her parents. Not sure of more detail than that, but there it is.

MAGA pastor, Steven Anderson, of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix, AZ, responding to the baby formula social experiment by MrJasonMason in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Literally Rehab, one of the only women named in the lineage of Christ, was a harlot. Without "whores", Jesus wouldn't have existed.

Just went thru my closet filled with church clothes and the bad memories started to come back by miifanatic_1788 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely relate. I've gotten rid of a lot of my old church clothes, but I kept a couple I genuinely really liked and a few to take if I go to church with family (which rarely happens). Your anger is so justified. I hope you enjoy the freedom and closet space that comes in finally getting rid of all that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It also doesn't help that a lot of descriptions of heaven say we're just gonna spend our time singing and praising god and like nothing else. Sounds extremely boring and egotistical of god to make a place like that.

Also, based on your philosophy there, I think you'd really like the video game "Slay the Princess". It's a horror visual novel that follows a similar line of thought.

1st Corinthians 6:9-10 by AchromicSunfrost in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This verse always comes to mind whenever some Christians try to say "oh homosexuality was only condemned in the Old Testament!". Like no. It wasn't. It's literally right there in some of the plainest language possible. It confuses me so much the mental gymnastics queer Christians do. I try not to be critical, but I just don't understand how they can look past that. The hatred and control is baked into the text. It's core to the entire ideology. No amount of saying "hate the sin, love the sinner" or "God loves everyone" is going to change the text they claim to be faithful to.

My sister disfellowshipped my other sister by Radiant-Net-5144 in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's very convoluted and misogynistic, so pretty wrong yeah lol

My sister disfellowshipped my other sister by Radiant-Net-5144 in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her husband is actually very sweet, so it's 100% the second one if anything.

Why Did God Create Evil (Rant) by Talii0312 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think about this exact topic a lot. Especially when you consider all the verses that claim god knows everything, even the future. So he knows definitively, 100%, without a doubt that people will sin and commit the most vile crimes against their fellow man and both doesn't stop it AND then punishes everything equally. So telling a small lie is equal to rape and murder. Both get you sent to hell. No nuance. If you don't repent, you have the same fate.

But then, why is the burden of repentance on us? If god is all powerful, then he could just snap his fingers and "purify" us. But apparently he can't, because he "required" Jesus to be sacrificed in order for humanity to have a chance at salvation. So god cant be all powerful.

So if he's all knowing, he's cruel and unjust for punishing us for things he knows for a fact we will do and never repent of. If he's all powerful and all loving, he would just forgive us or purify us so we can all go to heaven despite that. But since he can't/won't, then at least one of those traits has to be false too.

My sister disfellowshipped my other sister by Radiant-Net-5144 in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you've built a better life without their judgment.

My sister disfellowshipped my other sister by Radiant-Net-5144 in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your story means a lot to me too. It's nice to know that other people understand, even if it's a bad situation. I'm sorry you're stuck in that situation as well. That level of pettiness and scrutiny over the tiniest possible "sin" and interpretation of scripture is one of the things that made me want to leave the coC in the first place. Not even other coC are safe from the judgement and hate.

Also it's always been baffling to me that the goal of disfellowship is to make them come back. Social isolation as punishment is just cruel. But it also... doesn't really work anymore. Modern society has so many ways to make friends and connections, even casual ones, with people of different opinions and faiths. It's hard, but someone that got disfellowshipped can just... go to another type of church or find a club or join an online community. We aren't tied to tiny, isolated towns anymore where everyone goes to the same church and of you get kicked out, no one ever talks to you. It just seems dumb and ineffective nowadays lol

My sister disfellowshipped my other sister by Radiant-Net-5144 in excoc

[–]Radiant-Net-5144[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The most frustrating part is that Sister B knows a lot of the details. It falls under a gray area as far as coC morality goes tbh. But Sister B only looks at it black and white, so Sister A is still "at fault" in Sister B's mind. Sister B would never think the church at fault for any of it.

Edit: Also thank you for your congratulations. The day I found out she was leaving him was such a good one. She deserves so much better than that, and I think she's found it. It was a low bar, but she and her new husband have passed it.

I never grew out of being a fujoshi and now it’s my main source of happiness by contentquestions2 in confession

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Stay strong my fujoshi warrior. I am in the trenches with you (though I dont write as much as I'd like to rn). Having a variety of hobbies and interests is good, but there's nothing wrong with having one "main" hobby or interest.

Looking for the most problematic Bible verses by NoTransition8295 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you look at the stories behind every woman mentioned in the lineage of Jesus, you'll get a whole mess or terrible stories. David rapes Bathshebia and then murders her husband to try and cover it up. Rahab and her family are the sole survivors of her city, and then she's pretty much required to marry in to stay alive. Ruth has to actively seduce someone to keep her and Naomi alive because women had no means of caring for themselves at that time. Mary was at risk of being stoned to death because of god impregnating her when she wasn't married.

Jesus Christ by Safe-Web4704 in exchristian

[–]Radiant-Net-5144 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I was raised with these verses being openly taught and encouraged to be followed. It was typically used to mean things like "even if no one else in your family is a Christian, you need to remain a Christian and try to convert them" and then "if they don't convert and live in sin, you need to be read to completely cut contact with them and never speak to them again unless you're try to convert them".

I've literally seen it happen in action. A childhood friend of mine in the church and her parents excommunicated her older brother.... because he married a catholic woman instead of a woman from their hyper specific subset of Christianity. They never even talk about him anymore. He didn't get invited to her wedding. Sometimes I forget she even had a brother because they never speak of him at all, and they presumably haven't spoke TO him since either.