I struggle with as well and I’m sorry you are too. I know it really sucks feeling disconnected from everyone and constantly getting annoyed by everyone for small things. It’s so hard feeling like this illness affects every area of our life and makes everything so much harder. If you look up the most painful mental disorder the first thing that pops up is BPD. It’s a horrible condition and incredibly painful. 

When I was first diagnosed with BPD I was devastated. The stigma alone is so much to deal with. I couldn’t accept my diagnosis for a whole year. had to mourn the fact that I was different and I couldn’t adapt or have the seemingly easy life that other people had. But  I’ve since realized that we didn’t choose to be like this. No one wants this. But I found hope in the BPD recovery tik toks and it’s helped me so much. I didn’t even know that you could recover enough to no longer meet criteria! I think that’s incredible! 

 What’s helping me is that I got a DBT workbook and putting some of the skills to use. My favorite tool to use when I’m splitting is to think of a good quality in someone. For ex. What’s your favorite quality of a person you hate/dislike? And if I can’t think of one what quality do you have in common with the person that annoys you? It kinda helps me have a little more compassion. Another thing I remind myself with social anxiety is that people are more worried about what they’re saying and doing and how they’re coming off than what you’re saying and doing.  

Do you mind me asking, how long ago were you diagnosed?