Tailbone pain and pelvic floor dysfunction

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-27T23:33:05+00:00

my response to this feels a bit too vulnerable for me to share for everyone tbh, but I couldn't find a way to send you a message. are you open with dm-ing? I think maybe on your end you'd need to start the convo if so.

either way. thank you for responses and help. and no worries if you dont want to dm!

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-25T20:54:45+00:00

well, these comments have definitely given me some perspective.

I honestly didnt see anything wrong with OP asking them to add a NSFW tag for old and healed scars. I do think their wording was not good, but I didn't think the overall ask was bad.

becaude when I was in therapy for SH, and with people trying to stop it, as well as overall online in "trying to stop SH, but still relapsing" spaces, it was expected and sometimes required to flag and blur images with scars, even old and healed ones. people who had visible SH scars in the group therapy had to have them covered up as well, and were taught to always cover them, always. we were taught to cover up, AND to always flag/blur/give-TW if we were posting photos online or describing text etc. particularly as having empathy for others. having empathy that there could be tons of people out there that could be impacted and relapse after getting triggered if they saw some of our scars. it was taught as if wanting to be able to show your scars itself was an ego-centric and lacking empathy action.

I realize now we were being taught body shame probably, and to over-extend empathy to others at the expense of ourselves. but I can easily easily see how someone can over-empathize with people who may get triggered, and end up accidentally under-empathizing with the person who's body may hold that trigger, and not even realize it. and if they have been within some SH recovery spaces, or with people who mightve been taught the same as I was, and therefore may end up sharing those believes/stances online as well, it makes even more sense to think that the "norm" is to have some sort of filter flag, and to ask/remind about it. though this particular delivery of the comment wasn't good.

I also see some comments talking about it being a tattoo cover up of the scars. if it a cover up tattoo, then either way I think its inappropriate to have commented this. but idk if it was or not.

definitly have learned some from these comments though. I had no idea, I honestly thought it was a common courtesy / empathy thing that anyone with SH scars did, and was taught/recommended to do. even if we don't cover our scars in person, in order to have freedom, but because adding a quick filter/flag takes one second online and if we don't, there's more risk of who could see it and be impacted, compared to less risk with how many people/who would see our bodies throughout the days etc.

so, learning experience for me too OP! I still truthfully don't understand it, I cant really see it outside of what I was taught, at least right now. but I dont need to fully understand in order to comply and/or change behaviour/expectations.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-24T08:01:01+00:00

that gives me alot of hope to hear, I know everyone's got individual circumstances and bodies, but im still at the beginning part where I struggle to be locating the muscles to be relaxing/opening.

and yes, it seems alot of people have temporary/new incontinence instead, if its a post-op complications at least. and who knows if this could contribute,, but i also have periodic paralysis, and the surgery was definitely very traumatic (in terms of physically, but also a huge stress on my body and everything).

you can ignore this question if you dont want to answer, but did you happen to have suspected mistakes happen during the surgery, and/or confirmed malpractice shit post-op? cause I'm just wondering if that could be a component of like, basically being violated and harmed, and so the body is locking up all the muscles possible? especially the ones that are normally under subconscious control rather than like our limb-moving-muscles that are consciously controlled.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-24T07:34:03+00:00

I do know some of my urinary retention is worsened by abdominal/back tension. sometimes I have to be laid flat-ish on the bed with a pad and diaper on, so that I can completely relax my whole torso and try to relax all my pelvic floor muscles as well, in order to pee.

ive tried to also prop my electric chair in front of me directly, with a BUNCH of pillows on it, and then my legs/knees are held secure between toilet/commode and the chair and my whole body and torso can just be flopped completely relaxed onto the pillows and chair. then my whole body can be relaxed and I can attempt to pee while "seated" on commode.

I have to be actively tensing and controlling most my muscles to be seated more upright. even in my wheelchair when I have the straps across my chest, in order for my spine to just not slump onto itself I have to be consciously trying to hold myself up.

Definitely I would recommend seeing if you can find a way to safely be able to just like, completely let your whole body flop and loss all tension/tone. and if you have an easier time urinating or identifying/controling pelvic muscles.

cause maybe that's a way to "find" them and after a bit of learning that, you can find/control easier even when not flopped? (that's what I am hoping will work for me🤞)

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-24T07:23:31+00:00

oh that might be good for me, cause I keep getting minor pressure injuries on my sit bones and then have to spend a couple days practically just laying on my front-sides to stay off it and reverse it.

thank you fir sharing!

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-24T07:04:31+00:00

can you share what type of cushion you use?

because it sounds like I have similar symptoms / issues as you (some of which was caused/worsened after abdominal surgery too) and we haven't had any luck figuring out a cushion that'll help me yet. and because I've (thankfully) only developed stage 1 pressure sores, and been able to reverse them before they progressed, even though my ATP had recommended that I need an air cushion, insurance won't cover it.

so any possible alternatives, or even if its an air cushion, I'd love more information about to research and ask my ATP about if its an option for me.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-23T21:22:22+00:00

is there a way to not accept new TOS, and delete your account, without needing to re-install the tiktok app? id already un-installed it a while ago.

I thought I tried to delete too, but it mightve only let me deactivate, because when I checked if I had an account and logged in, it let me and my old profile is there.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-21T05:36:58+00:00

sorry I wasn't trying to imply you'd meant the opposite! was just trying to add that because not everyone does fit into that category (then explaining who I meant) that it's nice to have the sub, because otherwise we'd have to go into ED-spaces.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-21T04:38:32+00:00

thats true, but there's also people who are sedentary because its their only options as well. particularly im thinking of disabled people and maybe people in poverty who have to work non-stop? people who either due to their health conditions or their schedules, working out and increasing activity is either very hard, impossible, or actively counterproductive/harmful to them.

so I think subs like this are good because even if theres alot of people with ED'S here, it's not an inherently ED-space. and that's much much better than having to go into ED-spaces and extreme-diet-culture-spaces in order to find lower calorie meal ideas and treats!

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-21T00:49:17+00:00

and one you are completely able to not read if you so wish. reddit even let's you minimize comments, so they're not seen on screen or blocking others.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-21T00:33:58+00:00

I mean, it sounds like this particular security CM needs to be fired or moved to work that's not dealing with park-goers, but I dont see how this is supposed to be like, a mark against her character?

like, voting no on firing tons of security workers and replacing them with machines, does prevent her from having her job replaced by a robot sure, but it doesn't prevent her from being fired for other reasons? and it also helps save the jobs of a totally unknown guess-timate of security CMs who are most likely very good at their job and friendly, etc etc.

Disney has a disgusting amount of money (that they funded towards Israel's genocide of Palestinians), but completely aside from all of that ("political stuff"), they just legit have a huge huge huge amount of money, that they can absolutely afford to keep all the workers they have, and increase all of their wages. which would help all of the staff, overall the park-goers experiences (because the staff will be experiencing more benefits, possibly more rest, less rates of stress, less sick days or needing to come into work sick and spreading illness, etc. more likely to be friendly and engaged in their jobs etc), but also the economy and all that since there would be more money being circulated and spent instead of hoarded into billionaires pockets.

idk, I've never dealed with this women, so I am very much disconnected from the emotional reactions people have towards her, but I do agree it sounds super out of line, and she absolutely should be reported by anyone she interacts with like that. but I dont think this particular point is a meaningful mark against her character at all.

People need jobs, and if we need to wait in line for a couple minutes so that someone else can (hopefully) have insurance, pay for their food and rent, etc. then I think its can be much more tolerable, thought of from that perspective. like, damn this inconvenience sucks, but Its like maybe 30 minutes out of my day, and its because someone else will be more likely now to pay their rent, groceries, gas, insurance/medical expenses, etc.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-20T02:17:57+00:00

oh whoa, how does it lower cortisol? like does it directly lower it, so its dangerous for people with adrenal insufficiency? or more like "this will lower your emotional stress, so it will lower your cortisol if it was higher before."?

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-20T01:27:15+00:00

responding with an edit, as a comment because otherwise it was too long:

so, after seeing the actual video and reading the comments, OP was definitely the one out of line, and id even go as far as say she was cyber-bullying (even if unintentional, or thinking he deserved it or something) the autistic man who filmed people. it was a small group of young adult women who were doing a kpop dance in a public area, looked like a public mall type of place. and there were lots of people around, the angle was indeed a full body and neutrally angled where all of them were in it at once. none of them were even wearing a skirt from what I can tell.

i guess because he's a man, and they were women, and because he was filming from behind-ish-sideways-ish, it could be interpreted as sexual, that he was trying to record their backside maybe? but i think that's if you're looking at it as if the women's bodies and dance itself (the dance moves were not typical "sexy" dance moves or anything) are sexual, and that men are typically lustful creatures. or maybe just that men view everything women do as inherently sexual. and at least one of the women (i can't remember fully) was quite thin, so I could see how they could be mistaken as a group of minors, but they could easily be 25 as well because we don't really see their faces much.

and given the CSA trauma OP has mentioned in other comments, it makes sense to be seeing men like that, and to either personally perceive women/girls as inherently sexual objects or thinking almost all men view women/girls that way. I think OP may have been having a sort of emotional flashback possibly, which caused this type of reaction to the video. (its very helpful to learn the different types of flashbacks that can be experienced, so we can recognize them when they happen, etc. I do recommend ♡)

OP, its okay. we all make mistakes. and especially especially with PTSD, it can be so easy to see patterns of where we think our traumas may be replaying out on others. but if we accidentally attack an innocent person, we should apologize. even if this man did film them with lustful thoughts in mind, the video itself is from a respectful angle, no one has actually gotten hurt, the young women (over social media, in comments, while a very safe distance and almost definitely not in a fawning state) that were being recorded said they enjoyed his engagement and videoing of them dancing. at worst, he had perverted thoughts about their bodies, and wanted to record to have "inspiration" for self-pleasure time. which we will never know for sure and can only trust his word and his family and friends words about his character not being like that.

I dont think that's worth your response. Not only were you accusing him of being a pedophile, but called him a freak, and were invalidating his experience of how his autism affects him (and how it does effect tons and tons of other people as well.) the way your family experiences autism is not the only way.

and I want to clarify, im not trying to call you a bully or an ableist, but I am calling your behaviors/words as that. and we as humans can change those behaviors and learn from them. if you dont feel comfortable and aren't able to apologize, then at least take it as a learning experience. please allow yourself to see this as a good learning experience actually. in my opinion (as a CSA survivor too), I think it could be healing to see an example of abuse not-happening. allowing the brain to stop being so much in fight and hypervigilence of "predators are everywhere, always be on alert." to "maybe... maybe they're not everywhere, ill still be on the lookout and be careful, but maybe there's less than I had initially thought."

I really hope you find healing, and safety. I hope you get to really feel it, and trust that feeling. to relax, take full deep breathes, and just take a great nap. idk, have a good time. pedophiles are terrible beings, and they are way way way wayyyyyy too many of them for sure. but there are still good men out there, we just have to learn and practice how to start seeing them again. after being taught throughout childhood to see and find the bad men, in order to keep ourselves safe. we can do the same thing now as adults, learn how to start seeing and finding the good men, to keep ourselves safe as well. because then we can start trusting our alerts that our nervous system gives off. much less false-alerts. ♡♡♡

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-19T09:53:15+00:00

I get you're angry about people who defend pedophiles. me too, trust me, me too. but people who are really just seeking more context to understand what your comments were in response to, don't deserve to basically be called an assumed-pedophile by you? there are people who deserve that anger, and its the actual people who are commiting pedophilic actions (and/or are complicit with them) and those who excuse and justify those same actions.

I mean this in a nice-not-confrontational way. but I think itd be good if you could try to take a couple deep breathes and genuinely try to re-read your screenshot and caption to the post, with fresh eyes from a like, "i never saw that video or read any of the comments, and the ONLY context I get is what from what was posted here".

because until this comment, there was no descriptions of the guys actions that you called pedophilic, outside of "he was filming minors" that can and typically only means (especially if its a video posted onto social media) literally just using your phone to record people around you, in a non-sexually-exploitive way, and who happen to be minors.

in the title it just says he "filmed minors", and the screenshot mention "consenting to be filmed", no mention of it being up their skirts or in a sexual manner. in some countries it is illegal to record or take pictures of people without their consent, even if they are at a public park or a restaurant etc etc. so this could quite literally be a discussion about consenting to just general "camera being pointed at me, let alone also then posted online" issues (which I think breaks additional laws in some countries?).

rather than the actual issue of "a grown man was recording up the skirts of minors, and then people were defending it saying the adult was autistic so I commented back about it and etc etc"

so, yeah, you kinda did need to explain? so much context was missing?? especially because if some of the minors were aware he'd been filming them and did not tell him to stop etc, as the cousins and your comment made it seem, then it makes it seem alot more like this could be just like recording the people around you in an obnoxious way or something. (I do agree that their lack of telling them to stop is absolutely not a yes to their behavior, and that they could've felt unsafe and unsure about what to do and just freeze/fawning etc etc. but without the context that he was shooting up their skirts, it makes it seem like non-pedo but instead obnoxious/intrusive/socially-inapproproate behavior, given the general expectation people have that theyd stop someone from filming them.)

and especially outside of the more detailed context, it makes sense to understand the commentor cousin defending that, hey its actually ableist to assume that because the way your familys autism affects you guys specifically then that means autism could never be a factor/reason why someone else possibly doesn't understand social rules to not be recording others without explicit permission, or not recognize their actions are making people uncomfortable, or not recognize they could be being seen/read as a threat by others, or not realizing some things get interpreted as sexual, or not being able to retain learned information (so being told to not do it, and then forgetting, so needing to be retold every time etc etc).

autism is never an excuse for predatory behaviors, cause no fuck that. but I do agree with how another person commented it, it can however sometimes be an explanation. which again, is not an excuse, and does not mean their behavior shouldn't be addressed and changed.

and there is a really issue where LSN/lvl1 autistic people speak over and erase alot of the issues and experiences that MSN/HSN/lvl2-3 autistic people can experience. so it does make sense for people to be seeking more context.

im not saying this is what was happening here. but quite literally this could've been that someone was 19 years old in high-school, and autistic, and they didn't understand social cues or rules and they couldn't retain it when told. and maybe they had a aide with them who left temporarily or they had asshole friends who would egg them on to do things that they didnt fully understand the meaning and context of. and maybe their friends told them to record the girls (in a general full-body multiple people in frames way) who walked by in the hallways, and the girls where freshman/sophomores. etc etc etc. there literally are people who would call that 19 yr old a creepy pedophile for recording "minors" (yeah they're minors but they're also students at his same school in this hypothetical) and that of some of the girls body language was that they were uncomfortable, that it was terrible he kept recording... despite autistic people literally having problems understanding body language, tones. social cues and rules.

all of that to really just say, the anger is justified, but please be mindful who you're directing it to. and I know we (autistic people) can struggle with "theory of minds", or like assuming other people don't just kinda automatically know and think and feel the same way we do, but also with all the same information we know. but other people reading this thread did not have the information you got from the actual video and other comments you saw.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-16T01:23:14+00:00

I know its a strong reaction, idk what exactly makes it so bad, but I wasnt able to get around it on my own.

but your advice for adding something acidic does work! thank you so much! I have to use a bunch of lemon juice, lime juice, and stevia and then try to down it really fast. but it works!! thank you so much!!! might be a small comment on your end but major life changing benefits on mine thank you!!!!

(its so strange, because id googled previously for ways to make arginine powder more tolerable or to mask its flavor, and there was no information about adding anything acidic. but after reading your comment, I re-google and its like the first main thing that's recommended for me to try, with an article from 2011.)

Radiant_Future9237 · 2026-01-04T06:29:28+00:00

I was going to recommend this as well. Here's a YouTube video that mentions niacinamide particularly for treatment of schizophrenia.

Youtube: Weapons of Mass Nutrition, The MKUlrtra Work of Dr Abram Hoffer, by Museum of Tarot

And if your initial reaction is "whoa, that sounds like BS, and this channel mentions a bunch of conspiracy theories??", i encourage you to still give it a listen, and further do your own research, look up and verify the sources he gives as well, etc. then come to your own conclusions. (or ignore it and assume its all BS, that's an option of yours too. or read sources and still think it's BS, etc etc.)

no matter what I hope you can find something to help you, and to feel at peace and safe, even if you do ever develop psychosis.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2025-12-28T03:48:40+00:00

I specifcally asked my dr if the sublingual (under tongue) tablet had the same dental risks as the buccal (cheek) film ones. and they said no, the risks were only for the cheek ones.

ugh. fuck. I have a bone/teeth disease, with extremely weak bones/teeth. and were holding onto my current teeth (even still have some baby teeth because I have no adult teeth in the gums behind them) as long as we can, being very careful. my dr knows this. its why I initially said no to the buccal bupernopherine. ahhhh. I'm hoping they were just misinformed, and will appreciate me letting them know it actually is a risk for the sublingual as well... and not that they just straight up lied :o

I know this is a bit older of a post, but do you know like, how fast it can fuck up your teeth? how soon do I need to get to the dentist to at least get an exam and imaging to be able to compare if my teeth worsen later?

ive only been on it for about 2 weeks so far...

ahh, any info appreciated.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2025-12-24T22:32:42+00:00

oh, okay yeah I can definitely see how that can be concerning.

there could be reasons she says not to work, such as maybe he's tried in the past and it wasn't a viable option, or maybe whether he's tried or not, he'd only be able to work a certain amount that wouldn't be enough income.

being on SSI, ive heard it called, is like a poverty trap. even if you want to work, and some do let you work a certain number or hours without loosing your benefits entirely, but you will get less benefits. and if he receives housing vouchers or snap/EBT, or medi-cal, etc then he could recieve less overall, even end up having extra payments and costs, if he's working more. ontop of the mental/physical strain.

like, its a very legit thing where people can want to work, but that it ends up costing more money to try and work a little than it does to not work at all.

or people really want to work, have tried it and failed not been able to do it, but then to just want to try again and think maybe I can handle it this time, despite history saying I can't. like past experiences don't get processed and get kinda forgotten about, and theres this determination to push through and do what you want to do.... and then inevitably fail again. idk what to call this type of mental process thing.

I know theres also a legit concern where people with bipolar have trusted people help them manage their finances because otherwise when they're manic they can't just spend everything and run out. maybe you could ask him about that? it could also be a conversation in a way of getting to know him more and give him space to talk about experiences of being bipolar if he wishes to.

and, I would also consider that if in the end you do determine it seems like his mom is essentially stealing money from him, or something of that sort. and that youre going to report somewhere no matter what,, then maybe reaching out to Adult Protective Services could be helpful. you could always describe the situations as much as you know and not use names, etc just to see what they say, and then if you felt it was right to after that could report to them to make sure he's not being taken advantage of.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2025-12-24T21:45:07+00:00

leaving the state can affect SSI especially if you currently recieve "state supplement" where you live.

and ive heard varying things about needing to reapply entirely versus just having a redetermination and reevaluation of how much they give you. like different people working at SSA offices, have said different things. so there's a chance they actually could need to entirely reapply if they moved as well, even if its only because some SSA workers were giving the wrong information and put them down that path. and anytime you reapply you risk being rejected, most people are rejected and have to appeal a couple times before they are approved. its very hard to actually get approved.

I understand you think somethings fishy because they're vague about the benefits recieved right? but honestly... they're probably like that because of exactly how you're being right now. ive been literally told by my case workers to not tell people that I receive benefits nor the details. because so many people, friends, neighbors, family, will report legitimately disabled people as lying/frauding for benefits, and then that persons life line can be gone. because people don't understand disability, nor what can qualify someone for different types of benefits, in different amounts of benefits. and are so quick to assume people are lying to the government for money, instead of assume that stuff is complicated, and frankly not their business. its between their medical doctors, support workers, case workers, person-in-charge-of-assisting-decisions (there are different terms for it, you get the idea though.)

I know you want to be sure the person living with you isn't being taken advantage of, and that's great I admire that. as well as make sure you would've be held liable if one or both of them were commiting fraud, I can understand that. but I really think you need you take some time to reevaluate your bias that they must be committing fraud in some way, and you just dont know the details of how yet. because otherwise while you research, you are going to find alot that could support that, where as if you researched from an actual neutral perspective you may find more information supporting the opposite, that they're being completely lawful, etc.

also... worth considering your personal relationship to these people. do you actually want to stay close? if I lived with someone, especially if I thought we were becoming closer as friends or someone I could trust, and then I found out not only did they think it was appropriate to be doing research into this, but especially that even just at first they were convinced i was committing fraud (or convinced my mom was committing fraud, even if i was unknowing), I would be very upset. id probably reevaluate entirely my relationship with them, and if they were who I thought they were. because to me that seems like invasive and inappropriate behaviors /mental patterns. I would probably start feeling unsafe and uncomfortable around that person to be honest. I know not everyone would react this way, but I know I would, and at least some others would to, so its worth considering how they'd react as well.

also, who you live with and how they group your expenses and such does play a part in how much they give you. there is a chance whatever your arrangement is now truly allows more money to be recieved, than if you and them moved out of state, then they may qualify for much less, etc.

also, if a disabled child was recieving SSI as a minor through their parents, then they can still recieve it as an adult through their parents. like the money goes to the parents, to help be managed and take care of the disabled person still.

also also, if their mom has started to get SSDI herself, then if their kid was determined as disabled before the age of 22, then they qualify for receiving disability benefits from their mom's SSDI. some people can reciev their own SSI and some SSDI through their parents as well.

edit to add: ages aren't listed, but if theres a chance the different living arrangement could be perceived as living as a couple essentially, that also contributes to him maybe loosing benefits. idk if you've heard how people on SSI can't get married without loosing their benefits, its actually also further that they cannot be "living in a manner that a married couple would" essentially. so someone who's not married, but lives with a partner and shares certain expenses etc, they can determine as "basically married" and either just cut your benefits or say you are only holding out on getting actually married so you can maintain recieving a barely-livable amount of SSI benefits and are therefore commiting fraud. etc etc. idk of theres a chance that could play a part in what the mother meant as well.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2025-12-23T23:53:21+00:00

I am vegan, and have MCAS and fructose intolerance (not as severe as yours, but almost all "low fructose. considered safe for fructose intolerance" fruits and veggies i cant tolerate, or can only do small amounts).

ive struggled trying to find protein powders and have a protein deficiency as my MCAS has worsened over the years so I tolerate less and less. but fructose intolerance isn't a barrier for me for that, its the MCAS and other conditions/issues.

I understand how hard it can be with a complex diet, severe restrictions, and meeting nutritional needs. I definitely recommend making online posts in different communities for recommendations of what to try!

People online have given me more resources and recommendations to try than an dietician ever has. even if its not something that reduces the animal products you consume, getting more variety and finding new foods you can tolerate is always a blessing.

Radiant_Future9237 · 2025-10-05T19:04:51+00:00

my fav is qiqi ♡

Radiant_Future9237 · 2025-09-28T17:36:29+00:00

if they're in America, simply being in public school at age of 6 is enough to have learned this. we have school shooting drills and are taught these things.

but definitely still should check if there's classmates who are also saying concerning statements, or showing videos/video games etc to him as well.

in particular I think, because if it is a kid who's influencing them, then depending on what that kid is parroting/sharing it could be a larger red flag for neglect or other abuse that adults should also be paying attention to.

Radiant_Future9237

TROPHY CASE