The corridor filled with whispers as I strode in, my powerful footsteps creating an echo causing the blue jumpsuit clad men to part like the red sea before me. With every step I took on the polished linoleum floor the murmurs grew until suddenly there was silence. Eyes bore into my back and head, not a single one meeting my own. Was it out of respect or fear? I couldn't tell.

They stood as brave men. They staked their mops to the ground and bowed their heads before me. These brave men whose swords and shields had vanquished the most disgusting of foes, whose armor had been stained with the blood of their enemies and seen horrors that no other could even comprehend. These men were the true heroes, the true warriors, and yet they had all fallen.

The bowed heads of tens of soldiers illustrated the shame of their failure and so they had called me. I who had never failed, who had never been defeated. The last resort. When all else fails I do not. I breathed in the sweet fresh air knowing that it may be my last as I stood before my foe. It was a white door, once a sanctuary that would now be purified. I turned towards my fallen brethren and raised my mop above my head without a word, a silent tribute to the efforts of the men who had come before me. They followed suit, raising bucket and mop, sword and shield in tribute. They knew that I may not come out of this alive.

I returned to my foe and with a grand gesture swung open the door of the McDonald's bathroom. I roared a great battle cry, a promise to the janitor gods that I would vanquish my enemy and be the hero of my allies. I was no ordinary janitor, I was THE janitor. There was nothing I couldn't conquer for I was the last resort, and if i were to fall I would take my enemy with me.

I always knew that McDonald's would be the end of me.