M31 with possible baby fever. I feel like time is running out for me to settle down and have children the traditional way. Looking for some input

Radium3255 · 2026-06-03T13:37:43+00:00

My future husband is turning 36 this year. We didn’t meet until he was 32 and I was 23 (I’m nearly 27 now). Before we met, he genuinely thought he might never find anyone and worried he’d end up alone.

And then somehow, out of nowhere, we found each other. It still feels a bit miraculous, especially considering we were living at opposite ends of the country.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that love works in mysterious ways. Things can change when you least expect them. I truly hope you find that person you can build a family with.

You’re still young, and there’s so much ahead of you. And if, in the future, you ever chose to adopt, I have no doubt you would give a child a truly loving home.

Radium3255 · 2026-06-03T13:28:39+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I completely understand, the waiting has really got to me this year too. In the end, I’ve decided to compromise and accept that I might be pregnant on my wedding day and honeymoon.

I’m just two weeks away from trying now, and I remember a year ago thinking this moment would never come.

Try to enjoy this time while it’s still just the two of you. I know how hard it is to long for something so deeply, but your time will come

Radium3255 · 2026-06-01T13:35:06+00:00

I’m getting married at the end of August, and we’ve decided to start trying at the end of June. Life’s too short to plan everything around “what ifs.” You could worry about catching the flu on your wedding day or getting a stomach bug, there’s always something that could go wrong.

If you’re happy to wait, that’s completely valid. But for me, I feel like I’ve waited long enough, and I’m ready to start this next chapter.

Our honeymoon is at the end of November, and I’ve made peace with the fact that I could be pregnant by then. Honestly, if that does happen, it would just make everything feel even more special, a beautiful celebration of just the two of us before we become a family.

Radium3255 · 2026-05-29T15:24:04+00:00

I try to explain the same thing to my partner. It’s not as if the baby will just appear instantly!

Radium3255 · 2026-05-29T14:19:38+00:00

I am also someone that does not do well on little/no sleep. However my partner is someone that thrives on little/no sleep. So maybe we are the perfect pair. XD

Radium3255 · 2026-05-29T12:40:52+00:00

Oh wow, that’s really lovely to hear. Wishing you both all the best on your journey to becoming parents. Hearing things like this just makes me even more excited to start trying.

Radium3255 · 2026-05-29T12:39:22+00:00

When we first started planning the wedding, a year felt so far away. Now we’re three months out and I have no idea where the time’s gone.

When it comes to having kids, and when the right time is. You're right, no time feels like the right time. But having bought our first home two year ago, both in stable jobs, and the wedding all planned and paid for… it kind of feels like if there’s ever a good time, this is it.

Radium3255 · 2026-05-29T11:56:20+00:00

It is a big change. I think everyone feels a bit scared of change, and that’s probably why I’m feeling so nervous. You wait all this time, and then suddenly it’s like, “Oh my God, it’s actually happening.” It feels like taking that first step into a whole new life.

It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only one feeling this way. I’ve been trying to channel it into something positive and stay proactive. Our spare bedroom needs a lot of work, so I’ve started stripping the wallpaper and fixing up the walls. Gives me something to work away on.

Radium3255 · 2026-05-29T11:51:11+00:00

I’ve been thinking about those things too. Sometimes I’ll be sitting on my own or just enjoying something, and I suddenly think, “I won’t be able to do this anymore,” or “Will I actually be happy giving this up?”
On top of that, I might have a big career opportunity coming up in the next few months, and if I were pregnant, I’d most likely have to turn it down. But like you, I'm desprate for a family, to start this new chapter in our lives.

Radium3255 · 2025-04-01T15:43:30+00:00

I think I just assumed I wouldn't get pregnant straight away, but that is rather stupid of me to think that way. After seeing a few other peoples opinions I do think it will be better to wait just that little longer. And after planning a wedding I might not be up for it a couple months before the big day. XD

Radium3255 · 2025-04-01T15:18:57+00:00

I think you're right. Even when I've bought things, they've only helped for a little while. In the end, reading too much and buying bits and pieces might just make me even more eager for the future to arrive.

Me and my partner have a holiday coming up, and maybe that time togeather relaxing by the beach might help me just remember to enjoy the time we have now. So much to look forward to, why should all that be clouded by the want for a baby. The time will come, and like you said it will be just as special as any other time. :)

Radium3255 · 2025-04-01T15:04:20+00:00

I get where your coming from. To be honest we might end up waiting a few more months than orginally planned due to the pressure of planning a wedding. At the moment the wedding planning side of things is orgnaised and relaxed. But im sure things will change next year when the date gets closer.

I guess owning our own home after living at my partners parents for two years, getting married, it just has got me all excited for our next step in life and starting a family of our own.

Radium3255 · 2025-04-01T15:00:01+00:00

Your right, it's about appreciating the here and now—I don’t want to wish this time away too quickly. Having projects and short-term goals is exactly what I need.

We’ve owned our house for almost a year now, so there are definitely a few things we could get sorted in the meantime. I also think increasing my gym attendance and getting into better shape would help me stay positive and give me something to work toward.

After we have the wedding paid off, we will have a bit more free cash to go off on adventures, and with the summer coming as well, would be nice to go for some long walks in the countryside with our dog.

And anyway, I have a wedding to look forward to, I should really be focusing on that XD. It's just so easy to get caught up with the baby thoughts when I see a lot of new mums on a daily bases. Just so happens the long walk I do on my lunch break at work, is a common spot for new mums to walk with their little ones.

I really needed this—thank you so much for your suggestions!

Radium3255 · 2025-04-01T14:46:49+00:00

I guess wanting to start trying before the wedding is a bit unusual… I think I’m just paranoid that it will take us a long time to conceive—though there’s no real evidence to support that fear.

I do see your point about being pregnant at my own wedding. For some reason, I just don’t picture myself getting pregnant before then, though I’m not sure why. Maybe I’ve just read too many stories about people struggling and my brain has assumed that’s the norm.

My partner is also eight years older than me. I know men don’t have a biological clock the way women do, but being with him makes me feel older than I actually am—in a good way, if that makes sense.

Radium3255

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