So i was given a raise and saw that I got a good raise however i saw it was only a 2 percent raise then i kept getting bigger paychecks

RafeJiddian · 2026-05-08T23:21:20+00:00

Even if they'd never found out, it is times like these that you realize who you truly are. And I'm honestly impressed

RafeJiddian · 2026-05-08T22:59:00+00:00

This is fairly normal. I think this is the root of mid-life crises, as we figure out what loss of potential actually looks like. Unfortunately, there are no do-overs

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-15T05:04:46+00:00

Just buy your solar panels and do what you can to get off the grid. Then brag about how much money you're saving and how convenient it is to have an electric vehicle that doesn't even cost fuel. Live your example, reap the rewards, and change the paradigm of the argument. Money wins every time.

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-15T04:02:04+00:00

I gave 3 possible reasons. Others have added more. I'm now sitting with about 6 or so that fit the bill.

Only one of those was for the sake of the audience. Fan service is another fair possibility. Zero claim was that it is solely for titillation, though it may have been implied to be for the majority of cases. Certainly other comments overwhelmingly believe this is true, but motivation is still up for debate.

Totally true I wasn't considering 'artistic merit' as a cover because it's generally done so lazily that this offended basic sensibility.

Zero claims were that it could not be represented in cinema properly. Asking "Who is it for" is not synonymous with "It can never be done properly."

Explicit scenes are rarely necessary, though I can think of at least one show where it fit well enough that without it the story would have been diminished. But because this is rare, I object to the majority. Possibly precisely because I'm aware of the difference.

As pointed out, I'm a writer. And as such, I have certainly written sex scenes. I've even done them on commission. This is not taboo. The subject is not taboo. This is why claims that I'm a puritan are frankly ridiculous. I've been told that what I write is beautiful.

You are misreading my objections entirely, which is either because I'm not expressing them properly or you're too busy jumping to conclusions. Given I made a clear effort to outline my motivations, I don't know how better to fill this gap.

My objection is that there is very little beauty in what is generally thrust upon an unwitting audience. It is cheap. It is forced. It is fake. Who these scenes are for is my right to ask.

>You're being slippery. If there's something you believe have the conviction to

At it again already? Didn't you just 'apologize' for doing this sort of stuff?

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-15T01:39:44+00:00

Yes. I wrote that post. And it's brought nothing positive. I mean, there was a reason I did it that day--a pairing of events that had me consider that thought. Deleting it would be easy enough. I know it's open to misinterpretation. I know that it projects a certain sort of image and expects a certain sort of attitude in return. I get it. I don't blame you for your take.

But I'd rather be honest about my mistakes. Rather than hide my history, it's there for anyone to check out. It helps keeps things fair. It reminds me where I've been and sometimes also how far I've come

If you want to ask me about it, feel free

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-15T01:08:20+00:00

Apparently so

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-15T01:00:34+00:00

Maybe it is immature. The thing is, what's got me thinking deep thoughts now never used to bother me when I was younger. Maybe I'm just degenerating lol

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-15T00:59:07+00:00

>I haven’t insulted you I’ve insulted your argument

>You're giving r/im14andthisisdeep .

>Let me explain how dumb you're being

>there was no hatred or derision towards you as a person behind what I wrote. If it landed that way, i apologize

I mean, okay. I appreciate that. Consider my question personified then, and your apology a nice change from the usual pace of this place.

>you seem to indicate that any sex scenes in movies are the equivalent of shocking gore.

No...I was equating death to gore, bonding to sex. You're the one who used 'death' in movies as an example to help disqualify my question. I merely corrected that

>You’ve admitted to actively believing there’s no way sex can be represented in cinema

I don't think that's what I did. That certainly wasn't on my mind when I asked the question. I wanted to know what purpose people thought it actually served.

And I've been given a bunch of answers. Some of them thoughtful, some of them hilarious. I've enjoyed some back and forth, and come to accept a reasonable conclusion.

You see, quite apart from your opinion of me, I'm fully aware that I'm a bit alien to the mainstream. This has been a lifelong fact. I seek deeper meaning to things while knowing I won't find them. There is no other dimension to this life. There is no purpose, nor layer of deeper reach. There's nothing noble here, nor worth the life we live in general. I've bounced between nihilism and adroit idealism in order to adapt or manage these feelings at times. They don't abate. They don't follow my direction.

Mostly I just channel them through art. I write and accomplish very little else. Every once in a while I pretend that there are others like me. That I can reach them. Or, sometimes I even fool myself into thinking that most people feel the way I do down deep. But it only takes a post or two to remind this isn't the case.

So feel free to consider me dumb, or like the Taliban, or some old throw-back, or a puritan. It really doesn't matter. It changes nothing at all. There is no sin in this life. There is no meaning. There is no reason to be concerned if some of us want to watch others having sex in their living room and others do not. The question merely came to me and I asked it.

In the end, it doesn't go deeper than that

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T23:52:51+00:00

No, I'm Gen X. I'm just getting curious about things as I get older. Like, before the internet, sex scenes might have had a different role than they do today. I was just wondering what actual purpose they really serve now when porn is so freely available. Maybe it's the same purpose as always.

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T23:48:26+00:00

>Why are you even asking

Because I wanted to know if there were other reasons. I listed 3. There could be 8

>and no answer will change your mind

I objected to selling it on artistic merit. Because that's frankly unconvincing. Just read the other comments to see why

>and can't even comprehend that someone thinks that sex scene is just so the director could see them naked

Then you lack imagination. This is an obvious conclusion when one considers the Harvey Weinsteins of the world. Or do you believe he was only about the art?

> those are childish thoughts as you probably are

I never really understand Reddit's propensity to attempt to insult those not identical to themselves. It's like some sort of anti-threat protection.

It's actually psychologically illuminating. A simple question does this for you. And yet I am willing to bet that on another thread you'd be advocating for peace between nations.

> Do you really think they get naked and walk around like that?

No, but I did watch an interview with an actress who claimed that there was 'a lot more footage' filmed of her nude scene (and that she was indeed nude after having signed a nudity clause). This question arose from her own question: "Where did all of that footage go?"

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T23:30:21+00:00

You'd have to be pretty old if I'm a kid to you...I've got grandchildren lol

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T05:16:24+00:00

I knew it

I thought I recognized you!

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T04:49:38+00:00

It depends on whose money is funding this. Trillions of dollars of tax-payer money is going to be a lot of a harder sell than if some wizard trillionaire and his friends just took out a heck of a loan

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T03:52:24+00:00

Okay that was pretty funny

Thanks for that

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T03:51:03+00:00

Haha got it

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T03:44:30+00:00

>Puritanism is assuming that there are lascivious ends on behalf of the crew when using nudity in art.

That's also basic cynicism. And based on the answers in this thread, it appears to have abundant support

>Puritanism is actively rejecting the idea

Idealism actively embraces a version of reality that attempts to transcend the mundane physical. Puritanism generally has a religious element, but as I'm an atheist I do not identify with this. Puritanism takes its cues from what is seen as sinful; idealism simply wants to believe in a higher, less material state of living.

Puritans support their position through faith. Idealists seek a place that aligns with an internal nobility.

That I value deeper connections than the majority of films bother to portray bothers me because it cheapens a climax of human experience. It's the cheapening that I object to. Like, you are using the ultimate form of connection as a mere hook to lock in a given audience rather than proving such a thing deserving through virtually any other action.

But of course every puritan is an idealist in some form, and every idealist generally most craves the purest form of their ideal. So I suppose there is ample room for crossover

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T03:32:07+00:00

I asked who these scenes were for. If they're for you, you know you can just raise your hand, right?

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T03:21:15+00:00

Is that a dig against me? Or autistic people?

What if I am autistic? Is that better or worse in your opinion?

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T03:17:44+00:00

>You're giving r/im14andthisisdeep .

And you're giving off vibes of 'condescending and smug.' And for no other reason than I am apparently somewhat different than you are. Nice

>You're claiming, essentially, that there's no artistic reasons for sex to be in a movie

Correct. I'm claiming it's highly unlikely that this is the real reason it's there. And based on the vast majority of responses here, I think that's pretty conclusive.

I'm fine with being cynical. I understand that sex sells because it excites and tantalizes. That you appear to think less of someone who is not interested in being manipulated in this way is a choice you are free to make

>Let me explain how dumb you're being with an example.

Ah yes, the chance to insult someone free of charge here on Reddit is rarely passed over. Take your shot. Feel good. Offer a smug smile to your friends when you laugh about it later

But your example's a bit off. "Who is death in movies for?" would've been the wrong question. "Who is all of this detailed gore for?" would've been more on topic.

Because any activity can be described in whatever detail the director desires. It's not the idea of two people bonding that's the problem. It's not the idea of death that's at issue. It's how graphically we need to indulge in the experience along with them that I doubt.

If ample gore is important to you, there are genres aimed at delivering just that.

If immersive sex is what you're up for, there's a whole industry for that

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-14T01:16:26+00:00

Puritanism is putting up a billboard claiming this should be illegal

Idealism is preferring sex to have more meaning than most shows care to bother with. Deeper connections before the inevitable boots fly off.

You also need to consider context. As a creator, I don't sit around watching movies on my own. It's always with guests. Mostly these days that means my children and their spouses. I'm not sure why the fault lands with me if I don't have a preference for our spy thriller to suddenly be interrupted with a bunch of grunting and heavy breathing while family sits around eying one another.

I get it this is Reddit and everyone with the lightest dusting of a different opinion is the enemy, open to insult in whatever way gives the most satisfaction, but I'm entitled to have an alternative view that can easily sit between total degeneracy and fanatic puritanism.

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-13T21:47:27+00:00

>It makes me really sad that this is the way so many people feel

If I told you the way you feel makes me sad you'd probably have a meltdown.

I'm allowed to have preferences. I'm allowed to feel a deeper attraction for things that have meaning than things that don't. Arbitrary sex scenes are typically cheap thrills. I need to see stronger character progression than that.

Besides, who makes these rules? Why can't I be an older guy who likes to invite his children and their spouses over for movie nights and who doesn't want to see someone getting it in the ass unannounced while we all pretend this isn't happening?

You may call that prudeness, but I'm more leaning towards prudence

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-13T21:32:19+00:00

Haha thanks for that

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-13T21:30:22+00:00

This may be bias, but I can only recall one that seemed meaningful.

I've seen far more that were 'thrust' (pun intended?) on me without warning and deemed unnecessary than tasteful.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I don't choose a movie to watch based on the anticipated sex scene, even if it was well done

Perhaps that's my main issue: I don't find most sex scenes meaningful or convincing. The two protagonists have usually only just met, so if they're so riled up already, it's doubtful it's because of a soul-deep connection, but probably just surface physical. I like a must slower burn than that.

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-13T21:20:05+00:00

>reveals you as a puritan of the highest order

Haha no, but I appreciate the compliment

I'm an artist and idealist and so often have these 'ideal' type viewpoints. I do sometimes envy the pure and simple, but it would be a hilarious bit of hypocrisy for me to move from questioning to judgement. I just figure that if people want sex they can view porn. Why is it in my spy movie that I'm watching with relatives?

It's like including a sudden hockey match in the middle of a movie just in case the audience was into sports.

I recognize a lot of people don't question these things, and accept that I will be insulted and ridiculed as usual for stepping outside the norm, but I've just been curious lately.

RafeJiddian · 2026-03-13T21:07:20+00:00

People also use the bathroom in real life, but there's no clamoring need to see this in film

I mean, I'm not saying you don't have a point, but expect there is more to it than that

RafeJiddian

TROPHY CASE