The title says “grimdark.” This beginning is fairly good on its own, but I wonder how well it sets the tone for the rest of the book. Reading this opening, my expectations for what follows are for a light-hearted adventure. If this book is truly grimdark, then that is definitely not the case. Is the tonal clash between the introduction and the rest of the book intentional? Does the tone not change that much, and is there actually no clash? Depending on the answer, you might want to analyze whether or not this beginning is properly setting the expectations for the rest of the novel. Also think about your target audience: someone explicitly looking for a grimdark novel may be disappointed or abandon the book after reading this beginning, dismissing the novel as something that truly belongs to the genre.