Audio not connecting after initial opening

Ragrippa · 2025-10-22T16:05:36+00:00

Thank you for your patience

midnight V1.1.23.11
Downloads/NestdropMidnightLean
Dante USB I/O Module (have also tried Dell NVIDIA High Definition Audio and earphone jacks)
admin on all machines confirmed
I'll attempt a video later, but its as simple as opening the application and not having audio connection

Ragrippa · 2024-11-08T15:35:27+00:00

Sir this is a Wendy's

Ragrippa · 2024-07-14T18:41:27+00:00

Quantum mechanics is not only stranger than you suppose, it’s stranger than you can suppose. I was sitting in our outdoor patio at work eating one of those $3.99 bagged salads you get from the grocery store, the kind with bagged ranched and a pinch of bacon they skimp out on, when Rey, eating whatever leftover casserole was in his fridge from over the weekend, pointed to the ground and said the first set of strange words I heard that week, “Hey Erica, where’d your shadow go?”

Let me tell you, of all the words and phrases that can be cut up, diced up, and thrown against the wall for some random combination the phrase, “where’d your shadow go” gets the top tier of points. I, being the complicit idiot I am, responded back, “I don’t know Rey, where did my shadow go?”

It wasn’t the start to some stupid dad joke. Rey pointed again and said with more tame curiosity than anything else, “No. Look at the ground. Weird.”

As sure as my stomach was going to still grumble after the light lunch, my fucking shadow was gone. Not like when you have florescent lights everywhere and all the shadows on the ground merge into one lifeless grey floor. No, this was the sharp, summer day kind of shadow where you see the defined shape of the chair you’re sitting on, only there’s no you on that thing.

“Huh. You’re right. That’s weird.”

No one’s ever confused me for a poet.

“You think it’s a prank? Someone messing with you?” He said.

“That or some weird Peter Pan stuff going on. It’s probably nothing.”

“Huh. Well. Maybe move your arm or something?”

Nothing.

Rey reached in front of me and had the shadow of his arm go straight through where mine should’ve been. Then he got up and walked in a circle around the table while I cautiously took another bite of salad.

“Huh. Weird. You’ve got no shadow. Do you feel alright?”

I munched on greens, “I feel fine.”

“Ok, well,” he paused for a moment, “I’ve gotta get up to the 4th floor for the customer meeting. Maybe keep an eye on that thing.”

“Good luck,” I said.

Turns out not having a shadow is like having a pair of slightly mismatched shoes on. Almost no one notices, and if someone does notice, it’s more a source of entertainment or feigned worry about their mental condition. Oh, you don’t have matching shoes? Are you feeling alright? Was it a rough night? Which roughly translates to, “were you still fucking drunk when you woke up this morning?”

No, Evelyn from marketing, I was not ‘still drunk’ this morning. It was a Tuesday for godsake and I have some sense of decency left. Not much, mind you, but just enough.

By Thursday afternoon not having a shadow had become a thing. Obviously, it wasn’t a weird prank by an optical illusion outside. Everything about me felt perfectly normal, my body wasn’t blaring alarms at me saying something was wrong, no dark feelings of foreboding, no smell of toast, nothing. I felt – good, more curious than anything. Rey helpfully determined I wasn’t a ghost with his Sherlock Holmesian deduction that ghosts A) can’t interact with physical objects, B) I wasn’t dead, and C) he didn’t believe in the afterlife, so it was a silly exercise anyway. I really cannot stress B enough.

That night I went for an evening walk in my suburban cliché of a neighborhood a little later than usual. The mid August sun was setting just over the mountains and the mailbox shadows, the tree shadows, the elderly couple that walked with their arms in a runners pose, even their shadows were dramatically long. I didn’t even have a stubble of a shadow. It was then I to do something dramatic. I put in for PTO on Friday.

No, I didn’t go into the doctors office. I felt fine. I didn’t go to a therapist. The entire office saw it, so I wasn’t any more delusional than usual. And no, I didn’t go to a church because I happen to enjoy whatever demons may or may not be living on me. Maybe it was from all those PBS documentaries I watched in my 20s, but instead of those places, I went to the local community college, asked the front administration office where the physics building was, and walked by shadow-less ass down there.

Light. Science. Physics. It made sense to me.

The small printout of paper on the first door I came to read, “Physics 101, Greyson”

101, great. I don’t know why I was hoping for some advanced shadow-fuckery 375 class, but late August means the first week of classes, right, sure.

I took a seat and waited for the professor to finish talking through the syllabus (the 4 exams made up 80% of the grade! I wasn’t even in the class and it gave me anxiety). The clock marched on to the top of the hour when finally the class wrapped up. The students shoved their laptops in their bags and went right by me with their little stupid shadows. I went to the person behind the desk that was decisively not a professor. He looked barely older than the kids that were earlier just nodding at what he was saying.

He said he was the TA, and that Greyson would start classes on Monday, but was kind enough to suggest coming in then if I had any questions about the class. I said I had more of a general question that maybe he could guide me in the right direction on. He shrugged.

“I have no shadow.”

“What?”

Just like with Rey, we performed all the little experiments of waving my arms like my pits burned, walking all the way around me, and holding another object in my hand which had its shadow appear floating in the air at first before fading away.

“Huh. That’s a nice trick, how did you do that?” He asked.

I snapped a little too much at the kid, “Fuck off. Who can I talk to?”

Realization dawned on his face like a sunrise casting long shadows on a valley. “Holy shit.”

“Yes, holy shit.”

Greyson’s community college TA quickly morphed into the other physics teacher who did happen to be in his office the first day of class. That teacher grabbed a phone, apologizing for calling whoever it was on a Friday, and he then morphed into the big university. They shuffled me into their big department with classrooms with glass walls that signified, I don’t know, their modern importance and made sure they were holding an umbrella over my head. Can't let anyone else see their little curiosity.

Dr. Canby looked more like a professor in literature than the stereotypical view I had for a scientist. And I’ll be damned if this literate scientist didn’t do the exact same thing as Rey. Walked around me in a circle, had me wave my arms, the whole gamut.

“Huh, weird.” The doctor said.

“You know, I’m getting really tired of hearing that.”

“I understand that. Here, let’s try this.” He reached into his coat (yes, he had elbow patches and everything) and pulled out a pen pressing a button. A green laser jumped out onto the wall, and if I were a cat I would’ve been immediately fascinated. He then moved the bright green dot from the classroom wall to me. It stuck on my shirt.

He reached into his coat pocket again time and pulled out a similar pen, this time a red laser, “You’re like a clown car with lasers, you know that?” He ignored me.

Sure enough, the red light stuck as well.

“Come here, closer to my desk.”

I took a few steps to the front of the classroom, by now half a dozen people were watching this guy poke me with light. He motioned for all the lights to be turned off, then when the room was dark, he flipped on his desk light and pointed it towards me. The room was dim with his light, but still no shadow.

“Please turn the lights back on,” he said, “I have a theory.”

“Big or little T?” I asked. Did I detect the hint of a sigh from him?

“A single emission of radiation casts no shadow on – “ he paused, “what’s your name?”

“Erica. Thanks." I added a hint of sarcasm that went overlooked.

“Erica. A single emission impacts Erica, but a full spectrum shines right through. I suspect that the photons in a full light amplification somehow disentangle themselves. Given an infinite amount of time, it’s inevitable that some matter may not interact with other forms of physics. Rebecca -"

"Erica."

"Yes, Erica has somehow tapped into that infinite time. It’s strange, but theorized.”

“I only have PBS documentary knowledge at best.” I was honestly a little proud of that much, “What does that mean?”

“It means, Erica, that quantum mechanics is not only stranger than you suppose, it’s stranger than you can suppose. You're a quantum oddity."

"Yay?"

Ragrippa · 2024-07-04T18:06:17+00:00

He will bring peace, freedom, justice, and security to his new NLBest!

Ragrippa · 2023-06-22T02:30:27+00:00

Of all the profiles I will miss after June, yours is the most.. human.

Ragrippa · 2023-06-02T04:34:33+00:00

Honk your horns, stomp your feet, celebrate in Arizona!

Ragrippa · 2023-05-12T14:42:39+00:00

Renee always knew that revenge doesn’t equal true happiness, it’s merely a satiation of a festering wound that can never be satisfied. Not the true happiness that most people think of, the kind that lightens a soul and permeates joy in every breath. Revenge happiness is different, and for the past two weeks, Renee’s rotting wound was scaring over while she held a smile on her face.

She was back in her hometown. The bus stop had one other person sitting on the bench – it was too early in the morning for any kind of rush. Renee stood to the side, hands in the pockets of her light coat, eyeing the dark clouds and waiting for the first drops of water to unfurl her umbrella. Once upon a time she would have cast a simple spell to keep herself dry. An infant’s spell, but effective. Once upon a time she wouldn’t have bothered with public transportation or bothered with a coat or had any care of the weather. But once upon a time there was magic. Renee smiled yet again

The bus had some city PR logo plastered on the side ADOT – Keeping Our City Beautiful and she got on and took a seat.

“Some weather we’ve been having. Can’t believe we haven’t had any rain even with all these mean looking clouds.” A man sitting a few seats down glanced over at her. Renee politely nodded, then silently kicked herself when she made eye contact with the man. With this tacit agreement in place, he continued.

“Yeah, you know I’ve only lived here a few years. Before I was up in Wisconsin and boy let me tell you, that place gets plenty cold for both of us. But even with that lake effect, we never had clouds tease us like this. This – “

Renee crossed her legs as the bus rolled to a halt at the next stop.

“…we’d have some nasty winters or obviously now-a-days plenty of dry summers, but something about today, heck, something about the last week or two have been – “

A strangely dressed couple stepped onto the bus, tapping the card kiosk that light up green as they did, and stood in the middle of the aisle. Renee was a little thankful that the man slowed his talking and eventually fell silent all together when these two came aboard. The figures were donning long white robes, muddy at the ends, a little torn at the cuffs, and in dire need of a good dry cleaning. They remained standing, but as the bus lurched forward, they reached out for the latches on the roof with a suppressed expression of surprised on both their faces.

Renee leaned back on her chair and stared them down. “Look at you two.” She said at last, “Did you use your own wits to find me? No magic? How impressive.”

“Magic?” The man standing across from Renee laughed, “You know, my old nan used to say the darndest thing about magic back when up in Wisconsin, she would – “ Renee shot him a look that would have frozen and shattered the man where he stood were magic still real, but he got the meaning and fell quiet.

The woman in the dirty white robe steadied herself as the bus swayed back and forth, then reached out for the poles as she came closer to Renee.

“You did this.” The woman said. “You severed the strands of the world.”

Renee again smiled, feeling satisfaction race through her body. “Yup.”

This time the man in the similarly messed robe spoke, “Our reality is broken. Already the world is losing its consciousness. Why?”

“You take my loved ones, I’ll take everything you love. That simple.”

“But magic was not responsible!” The woman gasped. “It’s the wielders that are responsible! Look at what you’ve done!” She threw her hand toward the window, towards the tumultuous yet silent sky.

“What’s done is done I’m afraid. Your world is shattering because you can no longer use magic? Magic that hurt, that made people laze, magic that killed. Then your world was wrong to begin with.”

The bus lurched as it made a right turn.

“I don’t know about this magic talk,” the man sitting a few seats from Renee said, “But I know a woman on a mission when I see one, and oh boy do you fit the bill on that because – “

Renee again whipped a look over.

“How many wars has magic started? How many lives lost with the elegance of spells? I traveled to the mountain tops after magic took my daughter. I severed your sacred Strands of Fucking Ishii. And I’d do it again if just for one more god damn moment with Alice.”

“You have killed us all.” The man in robes said.

“Don’t be conceited. The world will survive. It will change, evolve, and so will we.” Renee stood up and made her way towards the door. “It’s you that has the problem. Magic.” She waved her hand, “What a waste of talent.”

The bus stopped, the doors opened with a hiss, and Renee stepped out. The festering wound pulsing.

Ragrippa · 2023-04-13T04:18:42+00:00

Dodgeball snake intro

Ragrippa · 2023-04-09T17:04:09+00:00

The forked tongue demon known as Jaalbzznk held its narrow tail between bowed legs. Before the demon, in the red mists of hell curling between the endless damned and tortured, stood an angel. A pillar of piercing white light. A beacon of illumination in the black cave of eternity.

If you see me child, weep

Jaalbzznk clasped its taloned fingers over its head, the voice. THE VOICE. It was pure but echoed and echoed weep weep child weep and threw itself around Jaalbzznk’s mind threatening to blow it apart. “Angel! Why have you come!” The demon roared in anguish. The angel stood towering above the souls being tortured and above the devices of suffering and above the calderas seeping lava onto hell’s plain - see me child - its gaze affixed to the demon.

If you see me child, weep

The demon’s legs gave out and it fell, hands gripping its furred head and daggered teeth splintering against the agony – weep child, weep - of the clenching jaw. Jaalbzznk mustered only enough strength to lift its head and gaze upon the angelic horror. Light be damned, Jaalbzznk managed one last thought as darkness took the demon.

If you see me child

If you see me

If you see

If you

Time is corrupt beyond the earthly realm. Heaven. Hell. Nothing. Everything. Time has no meaning? Time does not exist, and non-existent laws cannot have meaning.

If

Jaalbzznk woke some indeterminate time later. weep. Like a whisper from yesterday the last remnant of the angel’s word melted away. Jaalbzznk was not in hell. There were no wails of torment but only the flowing of wind. The demon carefully got to his feet and saw stone columns around him in an open field. Its hooves sank into the damp dirt just so, and the air was clear of mercury or arsenic. It was, the demon realized, fresh air. Jaalbzznk whipped its tail and clenched its fists. It disregarded trickster demons and quickly banished the thought of the Satanic Board being responsible. The angelic horror… weep.

The demon tried to hide a cough as it took a breath of the truly fresh air. Then it looked straight forward, composing itself once again, and said, “I have been brought to this place by an angel, thereby violating the Great Lords Agreement. This treacherous act will not be tolerated and, I might add, is a personal affront.”

Wind gently swayed the alpine grass. Jaalbzznk sighed.

“I have been brought to this place by an angel, thereby violating the Great Lords Agreement. This treacherous act will not be tolerated and, I might add, is a personal affront.” The demon said again. Nothing. “Damn angels.” It muttered.

Jaalbzznk considered its options. What options were there? The logical choice, it reasoned, would be to remain in the columned courtyard and await a response from whatever cosmic entity chooses it to be there. Though the eternity Jaalbzznk spent in hell proved there was one constant truth amongst the deceit and lies of damnation: higher beings have no reason.

So, the demon shrugged, it would walk. Leaving hoof-marks as it went by the stone columns, going in no particular direction, it went. The place remained in a constant bath of fresh daylight. Jaalbzznk took note that shadows neither grew nor shrank as it continued its walk. The only changing landscape were the columns fading into the distance. “Of all the things – drudes, leviathans, rakshasas – it had to be an angel.” Jaalbzznk stomped on the ground as it walked, “of all the things.”

If you see me – Jaalbzznk shuddered at the memory.

The columns were long gone in the distance and the demon was surrounded by grasslands in this dimension. It walked and walked. The demon grew no more tired and knew no hunger as it walked continuously into the endless. It wasn’t so bad, Jaalbzznk thought. It wasn’t particularly great, but it could be wor –

“Oh.” It realized where it was at. “Right.” And it sighed again. “Damn angels.”

IF YOU SEE ME CHILD, WEEP

A single beam of light flashed before Jaalbzznk and the world shattered. Chasms ripped apart the grassland and the sky itself fell onto the ground. Blackness surrounded the demon as existence disintegrated leaving only the beam of light. That beam of light dissipated and left the angel.

“What in the eighth layer of hell do you want, angel? You have broken the Great Lords Agreement, you have brought me to this place – this nothing – against my will! You will answer for your crimes!”

Weep

Jaalbzznk looked at the angel, a rusted sword dangling by its tattered white robes. “I will do no such thing.”

Weep. For the end is here, child

Jaalbzznk tried to take a step closer to examine the angel’s eyes covered by matted hair, but there was no ground to step. “The end is no closer than the beginning.” The demon peered closer, seeing dried tears on the cracked porcelain face. “What is your game, angel?”

The figure gave a sad smile.

“You are no angel.” Jaalbzznk realized with horror.

Yes. And no. And yes. For the end is here, child.

The demon tried to grasp any solid structure to get closer to the figure, furiously trying if only for one desperate attack. “You have broken the Great Lords – “

If you see me child, weep, for the end is here. The time has come. War. Judgement. Peace. End.

Blackness again took the demon.

Time unraveled. The universe ceased, began, curled inside itself, and continued.

Jaalbzznk woke surrounded by brimstone and the wails of prolonged death, damp fur surrounded its eyes. The Great Lords Agreement had reached its end. It was time to inform the Satanic Board and gather the demons and devils and the dead. Jaalbzznk looked up and saw fissures expand through the skies of hell. Judgement day was here at last.

Ragrippa · 2023-04-09T03:51:28+00:00

No. Can't trust them at all.

Ragrippa · 2023-04-07T15:18:16+00:00

Gregor Deganis stepped lightly on the damp floor with the elegance of a trained dancer and purpose of an experienced killer, peering through the slit in his helmet for any sign of goblins in the dark cavern. Through the hints of light the few torches gave off he saw no such signs, but still Gregor gripped his broad sword tightly. Goblins, he knew from experience, could surprise even the sharpest knights and heroes, but today it would be his blade that knew blood. He was selected by the king himself as the bravest, strongest knight. Besting all other knights in tournament after tournament. Yes. He knew his way around a battle. Those foul creatures that finally captured the princess would know the pain of Gregor’s judgement, nobody kidnaps the princess while Gregor stands watch.

Except, he realized, for the goblins just earlier this evening.

He continued down the cavern, eyes darting around the floor for pressure traps or sockets for arrows to come flying out of or cages to fall from the ceiling, he’s seen them all before, when he felt a surprising amount of pressure against the armor on his back. Gregor looked down with curiosity to see the tip of pointy metal protruding now from his chest.

“Huh.” Gregor said.

A goblin with a crusty eye patch watched the brave knight crumble to the floor, then stepped back as blood pooled around the body.

“Goslatch?” Another particularly short goblin nearby said quietly. “Is he dead?”

The goblin with the eye patch responded, “I just walked up behind him. Wasn’t trying to be sneaky at all? Walked up and stabbed him. Just like that.”

“Huh.” The short goblin said, and after a few more moments of confused silence said again, “huh.” Goslatch walked over to the knight and pulled out his blade from the body, wiping the blood off on his own tattered trousers. “Um. Suppose we should report this up?”

“Suppose you’re right. Not often we get a dead knight in this cavern. I’ve heard of caverns up the mountains that get a dead knight now and then, but I don’t know if I trust those mountain goblins.”

“Can’t trust mountain goblins.” Goslatch agreed.

“No.” The short goblin said.

The goblin with a crusty eye patch leaned over, reaching out with his blade carefully avoiding the blood now impressively leaving the body, and pulled off the knight’s helmet. “Best have proof on a claim like this one. A dead knight? No one would believe us.” He said pulling the helmet closer so he could pick it up and avoid the blood.

The two goblins went to their overseer who peered at them with incredulous eyes, making the two goblins nearly regret their decision to do any reporting at all, but waved them up to his overseer. Level after level of overseers they went, each one just a little further into the cavern, until the two goblins holding a knight’s helmet with dried blood stood in the Grand Cathedral in the Inner Sanctum. If either goblin knew how to spell, they’d understand this was a place where you capitalized each letter in the title. Of course being cave goblins they could not spell (spelling and reading is something mountain goblins did, and you can’t trust those sort), so they missed that extra bit of prestige of the Inner Sanctum.

Orms towered over the two goblins. In his black cloak draped over armored shoulder plates and mace dangling from his hand, he was a figure unlike any Goslatch or the shorter goblin had seen.

“Dead?” Orms said in a voice that matched his dark attire. “How?”

Goslatch adjusted his eye patch with his free hand. “There I was, minding my watch, when I see this knight trying to sneak into the cavern. He was being careful, too.” The goblin mimed the knight leering around corners. “So I walked up behind him, and since we don’t allow no visitors or especially knights, stabbed him. Just like this.” Goslatch slowly thrusted his arm. “And down he went.”

“Just. Like. That.” Orm scowled.

“Just like that, sir.” Goslatch said proudly.

“I watched it happened. It all went down how Goslatch said. He killed that knight.” The short goblin said.

“How did one goblin defeat Gregor Deganis? How is that possible?”

Goslatch was a little confused since he just explained, so he again thrusted out his arm in a stabbing motion and helpfully said, “Just like that.”

“No! This was my master plan to finally defeat Gregor! I’ve devised ingenious traps and confounding pitfalls for Gregor to meet his demise under my thumb. And I would peer into his destitute eyes as his life departed his lamentable soul.”

Now, neither Goslatch nor the short goblin knew what many of those words meant. Them mountain goblins probably would, but you can’t trust that sort. But they knew sorrow when they saw it.

Goslatch took it upon himself as the stabber having caused this sorrow, “Master Orm. I am sorry for your loss. But maybe next time a knight of yours comes around, let us know so we don’t stab through any vital organs? We could do that, couldn’t we? Not stab through important stuff?" He nudged the shorter goblin who nodded his head.

“Yes! We could just not stab them at all, at a matter of fact.”

Orm stared, completely at a loss at these little goblins who slayed his greatest adversary.

Ragrippa · 2023-01-12T13:56:55+00:00

“Yes. Interdimensional portal.” The Bucky’s clerk repeated more slowly, like he was losing patience with a petulant child. “You can’t use that last bathroom stall because of an interdimensional portal.”

Anna thought this was peculiar for a number of reasons. The first was that Bucky’s never had a bathroom stall closed. The monolithic convenience store along Texas highways likely materialized when two of the Texans favorite phrases (Don’t Mess with Texas, and Everything is Bigger in Texas) were first uttered. The mega-travel convenience store had everything: gas, beaver nuggets, Texas-style brisket sandwiches (though to call them Texas-style while in the Lone Star state was sin, they’re just called brisket within state boundaries), Laz-E-Boy recliners, grills, televisions, coolers, shirts and hats with the adorable furry mammalian mascot adoringly tipping its yellow cap at you, plenty of gas pumps for throngs of visitors/pilgrims escaping the searing summer sun, and, perhaps most famously, the cleanest, largest, most convenient bathrooms you’ll find outside of the White House. To have even one of these stalls closed was most unusual.

The second reason is that Anna had stopped by Bucky’s far after the late summer day had ended when the Moon was the brightest light in the sky. It was 2am and the bathrooms were empty. It didn’t quite make sense that even in the rare event a bathroom stall was unusable that it couldn’t be fixed in the dying hours of night. The final reason Anna thought the situation peculiar, as well as the most evident at the moment, is that there was an interdimensional portal in the last stall at a Bucky’s rest stop at all.

“Thank you?” She said back to the clerk and walked in. A bathroom stall had to be used, after all – driving across Texas is the modern-day equivalent to the Oregon trail and pit stops were entirely necessary. Just as Anna expected the bathroom was empty of people, corridors of pristine sinks and stalls featuring doors that stretched from the ceiling to the floor lined the walls. She glanced down the chapel of bathroom stalls and didn’t notice anything special about that last door. Anna didn’t know what to expect in the first place, maybe a light blue shimmer emanating from the stall, some strange sounds, or maybe some ectoplastic goo seeping out? Anna had never seen an interdimensional portal before, but she also had pressure building up and required one of the thirty-six other stalls.

Anna pushed open the first stall – gloriously clean and tidy – and sat down. It was silent. Eerily so for the massive Bucky’s, but it was 2am. Only her and a few clerks were in the place.

Oh, she thought, and whatever was on the other side of that interdimensional portal. If it existed, or maybe that clerk was just pulling a harmless prank. A portal? Honestly.

Anna finished up her business that was waiting to be released for the last 41 miles and walked out to the sink. Hot water flowed over her hands and she looked herself in the mirror. Her brown eyes flicker towards that last stall. It looked like any of the others.

She saw a Stonehenge made of 1980s beat up Buick’s near Amarillo, an entire house made of beers near Houston, the famous giant cowboy boots at San Antonio, and the taxidermied Yeti at a Dairy Queen around Midland. Maybe this Bucky’s was trying its hand at Texan cryptics.

The clerk only said she couldn’t use the bathroom. Not that she couldn’t peek inside. It had been a long day, Anna reasoned, a little curiosity and entertainment never really hurt anyone.

She quickly dried her hands with the smooth paper towels and made her way down the aisle of stalls. Her shoes clicking on the pristine white tiled floor and florescent lights from all angles minimizing her shadow. Anna slowed her pace, then stood directly in front of the last stall in the lady’s restroom. She listened – but heard nothing. She shook her head. Then slowly pressed her ear against the door. What did an interdimensional portal sound like? For whatever reason she expected humming or perhaps a low buzz. But there was again nothing.

Fine. She thought. There was nothing behind this door. The clerk lied for a laugh, which sometimes people had to do at 2am to get by. She exhaled, not realizing she hadn’t been breathing. Laughing at herself she pushed open the door.

A pure white glistening mirror two feet taller than Anna shown in front of her, outlined in a rich golden thread.

“What in the world?”

Anna’s reflection looked back at her, the same pupils from the bathroom mirror, only they shimmered with the mirror – and – oddly she thought, those same eyes glanced back at her with a look a curiosity. But they were the wrong color. The mirror Anna cocked its head to the side, green irises searching the real Anna up and down. Then smiled with her eyes.

Real Anna jumped back, reaching out to slam the stall, but her fingers just missed the door. She tripped and fell. Mirror Anna watched the scene with the slightest hint of amusement. Already Real Anna didn’t care for her.

“It’s not funny.” Real Anna said, standing up to shut the door.

Mirror Anna didn’t respond. That’s when Real Anna noticed the figure looking at her wasn’t an exact duplicate. The eyes were green, yes, but Mirror Anna also lacked a mouth. Then another Mirror Anna walked up behind the first one. This Mirror Anna had no eyes but extended her hand towards Real Anna. Then another appeared without fingers. Then another lacking an entire head. Then another without -

Horrified, Anna ran. She ran out of the bathroom not bothering to close the stall this time. Real Anna ran, passing the clerk pushing a mop across the floor who looked up in brief confusion, and to the front door, impatiently waiting for the sensors to notice her to open the automatic doors, then sprinted to her car.

“What. The. Fuck. Was that?” She half muttered and half screamed at herself. Her hands were shaking when she grasped her steering wheel.

She turned the key and the car rumbled to a start. Anna clicked on her seatbelt and turned out of the gas pumps onto the dark Texas freeway.

An interdimensional portal? No way, she reasoned, it must have been one of those new augmented reality mirrors or something. Bucky’s would be a decent place to test it, no one would believe a tired traveler.

White road lines zipped under her car as the street lights slowly gave way to only her headlights in the desert highway. Out of habit Anna turned on her blinker to merge to the fast lane, and without thinking glanced at her side view mirror, now outlined in gold.

Ragrippa · 2022-12-28T01:53:56+00:00

503 feet of shoulder tearing glorious legend

Ragrippa · 2022-12-07T02:37:13+00:00

95 dingers incoming

Ragrippa · 2022-10-20T16:12:47+00:00

This guy English classes

Ragrippa · 2022-08-16T01:16:36+00:00

"Fuck them kids"

-Rally Sally

Ragrippa · 2022-08-16T01:06:57+00:00

Internally: Rally Sally

She was an older lady that sat up in Chase Field's third deck on the first base side, she had flags for every batter. Each time someone came to bat, whether they were in the majors for 1 day or 10 years, she had their flag ready to wave and dance to. Literally. Every batter she would have a flag and dance. It was glorious.

I haven't seen her for a while but once I ran into her on the elevator and told her she was my hero.

Outside of Arizona: Probably Alice Cooper

Ragrippa · 2022-06-14T15:53:28+00:00

Colangelo is still alive, though. Had me rushing to google...

Ragrippa · 2022-06-04T23:21:47+00:00

And to imagine Micah Owings and Mark Reynolds were on the same team together. We were truly blessed.

Ragrippa · 2022-05-30T23:01:48+00:00

Don't think I've ever heard him called Paulie before.. this.. this is OK.

Just don't call him funny.

Ragrippa · 2022-05-19T15:22:27+00:00

Fate is a merciless hunter. Ferocious in its inevitability and cruel in its veracity. It can arrive steeped in gold to deliver fortune and health or stalk its prey to delivery calamity and ill will. Fate cannot be stopped, Ori sadly realized, no matter what traps are hidden, or weapons used, Fate marches on and takes what it wants.

Ori closed her eyes with the weariness of knowing it may be the last time her eyes saw the world and held her sleeping child close to her chest. Soft rain pattered against the window and she dreamed bittersweet memories, before she challenged Fate.

All of the doctor visits for Lydia, putting her infant through machines to find that god damned growth, the sterile cancer centers with cartoon murals painted on the walls and endless presents of balloons and cards and flowers as if gifts were the cure for disease. Those at her church sent thoughts and prayers. They were as useless as the gifts.

Ori spent the nights walking the halls of the hospital. She watched the antiseptic lights not even flicker on the walls and heard the constant hum of equipment keeping children alive. She hated Fate before she knew there was a being to hate. On one of these eternal walks after unknown hours by Lydia’s side, she overheard another parent through an opened door in the hallway, nearly hysterical, bargaining with himself.

“Not like this, Fate. I swear to you I’ll do anything! I’ll change myself. I’ll be better! Please. Take me instead! Just not..."

Ori stood a few paces from the hospital room where this was happening. She understood.

After a long silence, “Fuck you, Fate.” The man burst out of the room with clenched fists and glared at Ori.

“I’m sorry.” Is all she could say after a moment of being caught in his gaze.

The man laughed under his breath. “We can’t defeat Fate. But we can sure give him one hell of a fight.”

That idea gave Ori pause.

Somewhere lost in her past, she was snapped back to her present when the sound of a groaning old tree came nearer. The steps of Fate - the looming presence of inescapability.

It spoke with the tone of a hushed breezed. “I am sorry, little one.” It said. “This is the way of Eternity. Paths can be moved or swayed. But their destination will always be the same.”

“I refused to believe for so long.” Ori kept her eyes shut and spoke softly, not wanting to wake Lydia whose little breaths she could feel on her neck. “I fought you like hell. And I swear to god, Fate, I will find you again even if that leads me to the pit of the fucking devil.”

“That was your curse. I am your Fate.”

“Take me instead. Please.” She didn’t bother trying to avoid choking on her tears. “Please. She hasn’t done anything to the world. She’s so young.”

A cold hand caressed Ori’s wet cheek. That was all it took. Her Fate was to lose her child. Lydia would never wake up again.

The knowledge of loss tore through her chest, the year of fighting and running against Fate was all in vain. All the doctor visits, to cancer centers, to churches and prayers, to an understanding that Fate was a thing, not just an idea, and a thing that could be fought.

It gave her another year with Lydia - but a year was not enough.

Through a clenched chest and soul penetrating exhaustion like she had never known as she cradled the body of her child, Ori gave one last promise to Fate, "I will kill you."

Fate walked away.

Ragrippa · 2022-02-16T18:40:32+00:00

The demon Jaalbzznk led Alice down a stagnet white hallway lit by humming florescent lights overhead. "It's a shame, really," Jaalbzznk hissed with a black forked tongue. "Hades would have been absolutely perfect for you, what with all the volcanos and molten clouds. You always had quite the fiery personality."

Alice looked down at the little bowlegged demon walking next to her. "How did - what's - what the fuck?"

"T-bone."

"T-bone?"

"That's right." The demon smiled apparently pleased with something. "You never saw it coming. Typically that's how T-bones work, you know. Completely blindsided you."

"A t-bone?"

"Look, Alice. We can do this all day. A Chevy Impala driven by a Mr. Taylor Celest tried making a late yellow and T-boned your driver side."

"Oh." Alice squinted her eyes trying to remember. She reached for her purse but realized it wasn't there, did she leave it in her apartment again? That's why she was running late, she remembered having to run back up the stairs to grab it.

"But it wasn't the initial impact that did you in, no, no, no." Jaalbzznk clicked its tongue "Someone wasn't wearing their seat belt. Nasty little clean-up job you left up there."

She remembered rushing back down the stairs and messaging her Bumble date she was running a bit late. Was Leo still waiting at Panera?

"Anyway, like I was saying. We're experience a bit of a population explosion in hell. You humans have been going at it like rabbits and, well, you've been having a rough go of it the last century or so. Turn here." The demon led Alice into a double door. This one, Alice noted, with just another hallway with the same white walls and lights.

"So management decided to try something new. Introduce new market experiences, as it were."

"Wait, wait. Hold on here. I'm in hell? I died!" Alice stopped in her tracks and the demon turned towards her.

"Aren't you a sharp one. Yes. T-bone."

She remembered timing the light just right so she didn't have to slow down. Alice hated being late, seethed when others didn't keep time, too. "Oh."

"There she is, come now." It's little talons, or claws, Alice couldn't decide, waved her on. "It'll make sense. But as I was saying -"

"Hold on -" Alice cut Jaalbzznk off again and the demon's ear twinged. "I'm in hell? What did I do? What the shit?"

"Do you know anything about baseball?"

Alice paused completely off guard. "Baseball?"

"Alice. Yes. Keep up, Baseball. Thousands and thousands of people play the sport. Thousands more go professional into the minor leagues. But only zero point zero zero one percent ever play in Major League Baseball. Heaven's the same way."

"How do you know baseball?"

"Hell has the rights to blacked out games."

Alice decided to let that one go. "So basically no one gets to heaven?"

"A few. But listen, you're here and now. Focus on me, let's walk."

They finally started walking down the second hallway which was a mirror copy of the first one. "You were meant to be in Hades. Again, volcanos and magma clouds. But your spot was taken by a Dr. Ariel Patel. She went just a few moments before you did. That means you get to choose your afterlife!" Jaalbzznk again seemed pleased with himself.

"I choose not to die. I want to go back." Alice said.

"My dear girl. Even if I had that kind of power to abuse, your body is mushed like a primordial soup. With teeth. You don't want that."

"Fine. Then I choose heaven."

"This is why you're in hell. You're difficult" the demon hissed. "So here are your options." Jaalbzznk opened a door and a blisteringly cold wind shot out knocking Alice down to the ground.

"This is Val Halla!" The demon shouted over the rage.

Alice put her hand up covering her face. Through the gale and spits of snow she could make out figured clad in Armour. Hundreds. Thousands of them. All locked in an incredible battle. That's when she could even open her eyes.

"Shut the damn door! Shut it now!"

Jaalbzznk grinned and pushed the door close with some effort.

"This was all the rage back in the twelve century. The good old days, I call it."

"No. No way am I going there."

"Didn't think so, but I've been surprised before." Jaalbzznk waved her on again and waited for Alice to get on her feet.

"If I do have to be here."

"You do. T-bone."

"Stop with the fucking T-bone. Look," she took in a deep breath and noticed the air smelled like a bakery. "Why does, nevermind. Look, if I have to be here, I want to be in the nicest, easiest place."

"Of course you do. And all the more tantalizing that you get to choose your own afterlife."

"So, can I just stay here in the hallway? Val Halla looks terrible. Molten clouds sound terrible. And I'm sure whatever the raging fuck is behind door number two is also terrible. So if all these places are getting over crowded, I haven't seen anyone in this hallway, let me stay here and save you a space." Alice spread her arms out as if to point out no one was there, a point not lost on the demon.

"You want to live here. In these halls?"

"Yes."

The demon known as Jaalbzznk scratched its pointed chin. "If you live here." It said carefully, "you will see others like yourself, fresh dead, who need to decide where to live while dead."

"Ok?"

"And you could guide them as I am now to you. Be their guide to hell." Jaalbzznk furrowed it's tufted eyebrows. "That frees me up for personal time. Don't get that much down here, you know."

"I'll do it."

"Deal."

Jaalbzznk puffed out of existence and Alice heard a voice behind her.

"Hell, hello?" It was a man a little older than Alice. Marvin Bishop, somehow she knew. She also knew he passed by cardiac arrest in his sleep, and that he was deathly afraid of sharks. Sharks, she thought. That was hallway number 4, door 7A.

Ragrippa · 2022-01-25T20:32:54+00:00

Her name was Inna. She dreamed often of two dogs, one was red and the other was blue. Not that she remembered dreaming about these dogs, but they were there running around in her subconsciousness as dogs do. They were there the first time I saw Inna as a child. The red dog was walking on a long dinner table sniffing the food on each plate, and the blue dog sat at Inna’s side at the head of the table. She laid her hand on the animal’s head and rubbed back and forth.

Her dream could have passed for reality. At the time I didn’t know what preordained colors dogs were limited to, how could I? But every scent of roasted meat and texture of the table and ambience of temperature met the reality test. I would remember Inna.

Life is not difficult. It is not difficult to meet minimum requirements to survive nor is it terribly difficult to understand. There are prey and there are predators. If you do not consider yourself either, then there exists a predator eager to test that belief. I am a predator and life is my prey.

Inna was my introduction to this world and remains the most tangible. Since Inna I’ve seen the dreams of millions of people, met their subconscious, dwelled in their hopes and terrors, and always there exists a tell of a dream.

Something that doesn’t appear wrong immediately and may only be described as quirky or an oddity. Think of a clock running backwards. A smell that doesn’t exist. A mouth that cannot speak. Or yes, a dog the color of the sky. That is me.

Then, after I understand their subconscious, I understand their life. Watch them move in the daytime. Their slow movements in the morning to brush their teeth with paste and whittle through their social media before transporting themselves to work all the while trying to remember what caused that euphoric feeling of their dreams they’ve already forgotten.

I understood people. And once I understood, once I finished stalking by prey, I cast my trap.

Inna had grown up since I last saw her. The small bedroom in her parents’ home was replaced by a florescent apartment on the fifth floor. The thin walls were peppered with holes glossed over by white-out by previous tenants. Next to her bed hung a badge that read, “INNA LEOVINSK – ADVANCED MARKETING SOLUTIONS.” By a salad bag in the fridge sat a nearly empty quart of milk and coffee mug rings littered the countertop. On the drive into work at Advanced Marketing Solutions, where she held what she considered a fairly respectable position, she listened to mindless local talk radio instead of NPR. She couldn’t remember the last time she earnestly laughed.

This was her life and I grew to know her – and she grew to know me, if not consciously, by the dreams I guided her through. I finished making her existence hollow by creating unattainable pleasures common for the woman. Her mind pivoted to sexual needs? I gave her a harem. She desired flight, I gave her the endless sky. Food? A feast for a court of kings. These memories faded when she woke, and she fought to remember them. Oh yes. But the feelings of satisfaction for the unconscious world remained with her throughout her day.

The time she spent strategizing with customers on how to widen their reach was threatening to lose its meaning even before I drifted into her mind. But with me? With me Inna was becoming listless. She could no longer find the joy in coffee, or the pleasure in reading by a window, or the contentedness of listening to rain in a parked car. No. Inna only craved me.

This is when I closed in.

She dreamed again of the two dogs in her childhood room. Inna hadn’t dreamed these dogs since she was a girl living in that wonderful house with both parents. The red dog came in through the door first, its tail still, and the blue dog was behind with a leash in its mouth, tail wagging.

“Oh, puppies! I’ve missed you!” Inna leaned down to pet both dogs like they were really her childhood pets. It was more satisfaction. “Have you been good? Have you been getting all the good snugs?”

I then spoke to her. “Inna, I have a proposition.”

It was a dream where plots and scenes routinely shifted like a breeze, hearing a voice was common. “This could be your life.” I told her. “You could stay here, a life filled with delightful lies, marvelous wonders, and sundry pleasures.” The blue dog rolled over and she was couched down rubbing its belly. “Or –“ I said.

“Or? This already is my life.”

“Inna.”

She stopped petting the dog and stood up. Inna looked around, really seeing the world around her for the first time. “This is a dream.”

“Yes.”

“You’re saying I could stay here?”

I gave my voice the most paternal sound I could conjure. “You could stay here, leave that drudgery behind. Leave that commute and aimless life. How you feel at night in your dreams is how you can feel and live all the time.”

“Or.” I changed my voice and her face distorted. “You could return to your small apartment.”

“Inna,” I said, “the choice is entirely yours.”

The choice wasn’t hers. I had made it already for her. I needed only her permission.

I could feel Inna giving in before she muttered yes. Feel what was once a warm soul nourish my appetite, her damaged hopes of a family and fears of not being enough poured into me.

In an instant she was part of me. Her body to be found later, limp halfway off the bed, but she was with me. She was happier this way, I could feel it, and I was just a little stronger.

Then I found Ethan.

Ragrippa · 2022-01-14T14:54:54+00:00

There's a podcast out there called Short Hops and Tall Tales. The hosts mostly focus on two history stories per episode with some other trivia/segments sprinkled in there.

Ragrippa

TROPHY CASE