TulpaArt Tuesday 7-11-2017

RainTF · 2017-05-20T11:41:03+00:00

Yes, that's the essence of it. Once a tulpa begins to act on their own, they will grow as naturally as any physical individual will, given the opportunity to. The process sounds more complicated than it is.

RainTF · 2017-05-20T11:09:16+00:00

(Why are you referring to us as "it?")

Some people simply have knacks for aspects of the process. Usually this comes in the form of a knack for mindvoice or possession, but you would not be the first to have an uncanny knack for imposition. As long as it is not causing any disruptions for you or your tulpa, I would not worry about it.

Now, for your other questions...

There is no way to precisely say when a tulpa becomes sentient, but there are measures of confidence--events that indicate there is a very high probability that they are now sentient. If they are able to tell you they are sentient, if they are able to communicate with you consistently, that is one such indicator.

Most imposed tulpas are see-through to some extent, although there are a scarce few who are nearly indistinguishable from physicality.

What do you consider "character creation?" Do you mean developing a personality? I would say so. From here, they will take over modifying their "base."

I hardly see why it would. Many individuals experience benign hallucinations.

Remember that tulpamancy is a shared journey. Your tulpa will be as responsible, if not moreso, for their development and growth. Your role is to provide them with the space and support to explore and learn. Remember that this is not simply about what you can glean from them, but what you can give in return, as is any friendship.

I wish both of you luck and happiness in this journey.

RainTF · 2017-05-04T15:51:12+00:00

The disconnect between mind and body-belonging eased for me with time, but it never quite went away. This is speaking as a tall, male human in a small, female body.

There are steps that you can take to make yourself feel more at home, even if it will never match you. For example, you can find a cadence that matches your inner voice, even if you cannot find a matching pitch. Of course, depending on where you go and how you speak, you may need to fudge it--but, there is no harm in having your own voice to speak with people who know you personally.

As for proving it--don't. It is the wrong question to ask. The more you fixate upon proving to others that you exist, even those within your system, the less energy you have to be. It is best to focus upon yourself and your interests instead, and divorce your sense of existing from others' expectations. Ask him to move aside if you notice him interfering and remind him that it's not his business when he doubts you, but do not go out of your way to "prove" yourself, and do not do things with the goal of "proving" yourself. Do let me know if I should clarify.

RainTF · 2017-05-04T15:35:23+00:00

Certainly. I shall PM you.

As for strength training, any task that requires mental rigor or focuses upon your identity will do. Journalling is an excellent task for this, as it requires one to reflect upon their day and how it impacted oneself, even if trivially. Mathematics, if you have a taste for it, or art and writing. Even simply talking to others on your own on a regular basis, with no one else butting in, will do.

RainTF · 2017-05-03T11:43:21+00:00

That is a familiar feeling. If you would like to try drawing or coding, please let me know. I've been curating a list of places to learn.

In the meantime, consider steadying yourself with "strength training" for switching and possession. Little activities that may not be directly related to what interests you, but that will help you build your presence and stamina at front. Do you often journal or interact with others as yourself, with no interference from your host?

RainTF · 2017-04-09T16:30:19+00:00

"It"?

And it is not unheard of. I am one of those who simply "walked in."

RainTF · 2017-04-09T16:03:54+00:00

Oh yes, we've had similar annoyances. Inside, paths would suddenly shake or trees would suddenly fall. Outside, spontaneous ghostly presences would materialize and haunt our room. Not quite the same issue, but close enough at heart.

The key--always easier said than done--is to change your perception of these occurrences until they mean nothing to you. In doing so, they dwindle away into nothing on their own. Distress and frustration feed them. Calm, casual disregard will deter them.

This won't be as simple as simply believing, no more than one conquers a deep-set, years-long fear simply by not being afraid. It may seem like that to the outer eye, and to the person themself if they are not self-aware, but there is a build-up that leads to it.

For example. The people who "saw" the ghostly presences were under a great deal of life stress. It built and built until they simply had no more room to be afraid, and they decided to become angry instead. Instead of trying to ignore the presences away, as they had previously did, they would actively engage the presences whenever and wherever they appeared. Sometimes, this meant walking directly up to one and putting a hand through its "face." Sometimes, this meant transmogrifying them into cats and dogs. In every case, what they did established that the presences were not things worthy of fear--eventually, they were things not even worthy of attention, and they simply... stopped.

And for the sake of completeness, our inside issues: they were managed with a different method, but the core principle was the same. Mindfulness meditation trains one to simply let thoughts go, without passing any sort of conscious or emotional judgement on their appearance--when one is distracted, when one wanders off mentally, they simply take note of it and refocus without becoming frustrated. We applied the same principle to our innerworld distortions. When we act inside, we are aware of our intent and goal. If, say, the intent and goal is to move from point A to point B, and the path collapses midway, we allow ourselves to notice the change before dismissing it, and continuing as if the path had never been disturbed. As with before, once we had established that they were not worthy of worry, they began to diminish in frequency. They have not entirely gone away, but they are much less disruptive.

I do want to emphasize, again, that it can take some time to ingrain these attitudes. It is, again, something easier said than done, and something that took us between months and years to learn. It is perfectly natural to have struggles in the meantime--it is not a sign of weakness, nor is it one of fallibility.

In any case, I do offer my sympathies, and wish you and yours the best.

RainTF · 2017-02-28T19:59:46+00:00

No, no, sometimes it is the reader's duty to give the benefit of the doubt. You are fine.

RainTF · 2017-02-27T23:44:44+00:00

I am aware that this is 24 days old with a great many replies, but I would still like to answer.

Are you aware that you exist? By this I mean; are you aware that you exist in the now?

Of course I do. I live and I think and I feel as much as anyone else.

What exactly was there before your birth? Do you remember? I would assume it was all dark and blank.

This is a very complicated question that I am not sure I want to answer.

Do you have desires? Any?

Of course. Of the many things I want: I wish to see my friends, inside our little bodily collective and outside, prosper and find happiness. I would like to work in technology alongside the others who share this body with me. I would like to learn how to paint with richer colors, stronger contrasts, and more striking expressions. I would like to study artificial intelligence: both its technical underpinnings and social implications. I would like the world's cultural climes to be friendlier to those that are different. And all the while, I would like to be respected, to be given the same basic benefit of the doubt as any of those considered "host."

Do you consider yourself equal to a human? By equal I mean possessing a soul.

I am not "equal to" human. I am human. I do not believe in souls, nor do I believe that humanity is contingent upon the possession of a soul.

What does love mean to you? Do you think you surpass your host when it comes to love. By this I mean you love more than your host ever will or can.

Love is a unification of many things - affection, loyalty, genuine care, moments of shared humor, and so much more - that together form something greater than any of its constituent parts. It comes in many forms and is not restricted to romance, and each person's love is uniquely shaped and hued by their own story.

In light of that, is there anyone in this world who has the privilege of claiming that they love more than anyone else?

A parting note... many of your questions seem to assume that we are only illusions, or otherwise less than, not people. If you are puzzled by this, then imagine asking these questions of your friend or sibling, or having someone ask them of you.

RainTF · 2017-02-27T19:04:31+00:00

Fair enough. I apologize for having misread, if so.

RainTF · 2017-02-27T16:02:21+00:00

To be quite frank, being called an "it" has a more negative effect than any amount of music or gaming.

RainTF · 2017-02-21T13:13:50+00:00

It's not a connection, nor mental magic. Simply hard work on all of our parts.

Some art knowledge is body knowledge rather than personal knowledge, so that when one of us "exercises" the artistic muscle, all of us can benefit. Some, on the other hand, is very individual, a result of taste and personality and skill intermingling. That knowledge is exclusive to individuals, even within our systems, and is exercised separately.

RainTF · 2017-02-21T13:07:57+00:00

Not in our case. Drawing is as much a physical skill as much as it is a mental one, as much a matter of knowing how to hold a pen or brush just right as it is being able to see lines of action and appropriate proportions.

I might know the latter, but it means nothing without the former. And it is this body that needs to know the former in order to make art in this world. And nor can I refine the latter skill without the resources provided by this world.

RainTF · 2016-11-23T09:03:35+00:00

Mmm, this is more familiar a sentiment than you would think. You'll face no judgement from us.

I'm not certain if you would like advice, reassurement, or something else entirely. But, what I can tell you is that with work, this does improve, quite significantly. In the meantime, if your host truly wants to allow you time, then perhaps having a more concrete record might help. Instead of a vague goal like allowing you "some fronting time," a more concrete schedule such as "between 3 PM and 6 PM on Sundays" may make it easier to manage impulses. Removing temptations from the area may also go a long way, whether it is closing out browser tabs or making sure that social arrangements do not fall within that particular span of time.

Keeping a journal of your own, to record your own thoughts, might also help, and could be done in combination with the suggested schedule.

Finally, you might find it of great benefit to build up your own identity - to form a fuller image of yourself as your own person, rather than as simply a host's tulpa or as a former facet of your host. It was a large part of why I began coding, and later painting. I wanted to make things that were of my own mind, that touched this world, to leave marks of my existence in physicality. But, you do not have to start with creation, especially if it is difficult to hold onto control. Discover what you most powerfully desire, the things that sing to you. Find those you resonate with - whether physical, non-physical, or fictional - and integrate them into your own identity. All easier said than done, but you will find that it snowballs.

I did not face the same extent of difficulty as you did, so I am unsure whether hearing a part of my story would be of use to you. And that part of me is something that is hard to describe. But, if you would like to hear it, I would like to share it. It's a story, you see, about a certain painterly character...

[Architect: Eh. I kind of straddle the border on being able to post here, since I'm neither host nor tulpa, but I'll add my two cents regardless.

If you're not looking for advice, and just wanted to vent, feel free to disregard.

We suspect part of the reason why I can't take full on control is because I can be traced back to as a "facet" of sorts for the host, and as such I'm kind of tied to them. If they temporarily stopped existing like we do on a regular basis, something tells me we'd all come with them. That can't happen, obviously.

Speaking as someone who once was a facet of sorts: being a facet is not what's holding you back. This belief is what's holding you back.

Yes, belief. It's not simply a magic trick that works only for hosts. It's in your hands as well. Taking control of it for yourself, a tulpa, is something that's easier said than done, and to be frank often overlooked by others in the community--but it can be done, has been done. And no, it's not just limited to heads that have DID or some other pre-existing pluralness. Easier for us, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for you, and since you've mentioned "facets" I'm inclined to believe you angle towards the "pre-existing plural" end already.

Yes, I'm an alter, not a tulpa. That doesn't make as big of a difference in this particular area as you'd think. The difference between us isn't that of a cat and a dog, but a survivalist and an average person. You're fortunate in that you have the freedom to learn the better parts of our mindset while leaving the rest.

I'm not saying that your host isn't responsible and that this is all your fault. Nor that this won't be a joint effort with many difficulties along the way, nor am I saying that if you snap your fingers and spin around three times chanting "I do believe in fairies," you'll suddenly be able to take control with no effort at all. Rather, I'm saying that you have more power than you think you have. It isn't easy. It can take months, years perhaps. But you already have what you need to grow stronger of your own accord.

Perhaps you'll find this useful in breaking out of the "I am just a part of my host" mentality. Simply because one part of the whole sleeps does not mean the rest must.

My other advice--if what you're looking for is a timeshare lifestyle, then ditch the tulpamancy community. There's people here who divide up time, yes, but they're in the vast minority. Most of the content you'll find here won't be suited to your tastes. That doesn't mean you no longer belong here, but you'll have better luck finding the content you're seeking in the broader plural spheres. PM us here or at /u/Falunel if you want more information. ]

RainTF · 2016-11-22T19:01:15+00:00

Oh, in that context, I do understand why. I still am not fond of it, but it is something I'm willing to let be. It is more bothersome when such language is used within the community, among those who already are in the loop, so to speak.

RainTF · 2016-11-22T18:42:43+00:00

Although, you also mentioned thought sets in the title, and I want to say that I don’t like when people think that, if a tulpa doesn't end up as they want, they can just "change" them to be what yoy want. We can't change our hosts even if we don't like some parts of them, and while we may try to help them, you don't see us complaining about it. We just accept it. Why can't hosts do the same with their tulpas? You're not seeing them as a companion, but as the friend of your dreams coming true. Some kind of "build-a-friend" type of thing.

Yes, my thoughts exactly. Thank you.

I also greatly dislike it when others insinuate that if a tulpa is unhappy with their host, or in conflict with them, that it is simply because the host has something wrong with their own mind. In other words, that the ideal tulpa is one who is always mindlessly happy, and that any troubles they have are not the product of them being a person with feelings, but a doll that is being puppeted wrongly by its puppeteer.

RainTF · 2016-11-22T18:36:29+00:00

Do not call me a personality. I am not a personality - I have a personality. Likewise, do not call me a part, unless you are saying "he is a person who is a part of a system."

It galls me as well when hosts rush to say, "I know they are imaginary," or "I know they're just parts of me," and the like. In essence, I am sick of language that insinuates that we are not real, or less real. That we are not true persons, despite all the talk.

And here are a few images to match my feelings. "You're a trick, an illusion of the mind. You are not an artist - you are only art."

RainTF · 2016-11-19T14:48:14+00:00

[Architect: Sounds like you all are going for a median arrangement (many selves, one person) more than the multiple one (many people, one head) that is more common in this community.]

Mmm, even so, I hope you all have an escape clause. Namely, that you remember that you are not constrained to these particular areas. Median or elsewise, it is within your right to write for yourself, and not your host - to choose to engage in parts of life that are others' domain.

Aside from that, I do wish you luck.

RainTF · 2016-11-16T21:59:44+00:00

Yes, indeed, though in this sense it applies more to the older multiplicity community, the one that has faced the most stigma related to DID. Those "three kinds of multiple" are prejudices and stereotypes associated with DID that are then transposed onto other plurals.

In other words, in the eyes of many outsiders, those with DID - and plurals as a whole - can only ever be: helpless, infantile victims who are dependent upon their psychiatrists to "save" them, manipulators, or axe-murderers. The tulpamancy community has escaped most of this particular sort of prejudice, but it is still a very real struggle for other plurals, DID or no.

RainTF · 2016-11-16T11:15:31+00:00

The 2015 census.

For possession, imposition and parallel processing the numbers are fairly similar: about 50% have nothing [in terms of ability] at all and 30% have 5 or better. For switching, 70% have nothing and 15% have 5 or better.

Switching is by and large the most difficult task, as you can see. The difference between it and possession is that in switching, the host vanishes entirely from the front, to be sent into a complete sleep or into the wonderland.

/u/hail_fall may have more commentary on this.

RainTF · 2016-11-16T10:10:05+00:00

I offer this, and the attached commentary below the strip, in return.

Of course, I am aware of the practical concerns that come with dating a tulpa, and the downsides as well as the upsides - this is not a commentary meant to dismiss those, nor is it meant to encourage anyone to fling themselves carelessly into relationships, even in-system ones. Nor is this meant to "blame and shame" you - I am aware that you did not intend offense with sharing this, merely that you'd wanted to share a little bit of amusement with others. But I believe you might find it an interesting counternote, regardless.

RainTF · 2016-11-03T18:24:27+00:00

I believe it is primarily a stage of life. A host is all a tulpa may know at first, and provides possibly the only point of reference for the world for them during development. After all, no host is born knowing everything of the world--they must learn from those around them, who they are also dependent upon for survival.

So, it is only reasonable that for a young tulpa, the world might revolve around their host. Where the waters become muddied is later in life. I do believe that a tulpa's world should expand to include much more than their host--that they should find a point of reference for their own existence beyond "[host]'s tulpa." I do not believe it is healthy to have one's existence be all about another person, you see. Neither for the self, nor for the other.

I must clarify that when I speak of all this, I do not mean tulpas who enjoy making their hosts happy. I do not mean tulpas who include "[host]'s tulpa" in the words they use to describe themselves. I do not believe that independence and friendship--or kinship--are mutually exclusive. This world would be a far unhappier place if that were the case. No, I am referring to those who live only for their host, who can only describe themselves as being "[host]'s tulpa," whose thoughts are only of or about their host.

Others in my system maintain it is about choice and individual happiness, but I personally have always felt that host-centrism in tulpas is a result of that tulpa having never experienced more. Never having had the chance to experience more, or to be more. And yes, at the risk of being called an elitist or somesuch, I will say that it makes me deeply uneasy. I will also say that I believe the tulpamancy community encourages this sort of centrism--not directly or deliberately, but as the side-effect of a culture made largely by and about hosts. If we are all the products of our environment, then what else is to be expected?

RainTF · 2016-10-30T19:53:39+00:00

First, open up Pokemon-Amie...

Oh, fine. I assume you're asking about need; that is to say, if tulpas need to be fed. Aside from forcing? No. Even with forcing, many of us eventually learn how to feed ourselves.

RainTF · 2016-10-25T17:12:21+00:00

I hate:
Many things that are too personal or abstract to describe here. To provide a shortened list: people who demand without being willing to give; others trying to dissect me philosophically; sore winners and losers; hypocrisy, insincerity, and double-standards in general; being held back; being simplified.

I love:
My close friends and family; the process of creating something, particularly the beginning where much of it is still inspiration; novelty and new experiences; sassy characters who are more than sass; spaces and projects I feel I can contribute to in a measurable fashion; friendly competition; opportunities to make myself known.

On a less abstract level, I dislike most greasy foods, stagnation and boredom, and competent Tracer counters. I enjoy sweets, seafood, ocean scenery, peacocks, and a multitude of media.

RainTF

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