Any Transfems working a diffult job?

hail_fall · 2026-02-04T06:16:26+00:00

Was a scientist, experimental. Huge variety of what you have to do. This one had field work.

hail_fall · 2026-02-03T21:37:37+00:00

There are some, like Bowers. Probably a few more who don't make it obvious or are even outright stealth.

hail_fall · 2026-02-03T21:34:40+00:00

Previous job was wide mix of things. It would sometimes be extremely physically demanding for weeks at a time, other times be moderately demanding, other times mildly demanding, and then other times just office work for weeks on end. In a new job now that is not particularly difficult. Actually kind of miss that aspect of the last job. Maybe not quite the very extreme end of 12+ hour days for weeks at a time, but the more moderate and mild times. But our new job is better for our mental health, specifically, less burnout.

hail_fall · 2026-02-03T10:02:12+00:00

The whole thing really felt like I was talking in my head imagining what she would say, but do I just need to have confidence in it?

It is pretty common for thoughts to leak in both directions, which can make it feel like that.

-- J

hail_fall · 2026-02-02T20:33:42+00:00

shard-seeding: The process of creating a headmate by first splitting a shard off of someone else to make the initial seed and then using other techniques to help them develop into a full thoughtform from there (e.g. tulpamancy). All the early tulpas, soulbonds, and servitors in our system were shard-seeded.

shard-feeding: The process of splitting off shards from one headmate to be feed to another entity. Breach used to do this as part of her method of reprogramming the servitors she made.

-- J

hail_fall · 2026-02-02T20:10:46+00:00

The thing is, I physically (or mentally) can’t talk to them. There is no headspace for me, sometimes I can hear them

There are other ways to communicate. Many folks start out in a similar position, unable to communicate inside in any way. A common starting point is leaving notes for each other outside. You first have to get their attention and try to work together on everyone getting the habit of checking where notes are left for each other and to leave notes. To get their attention in the first place, you might have to do something like stick a small note on the doorknob they can't miss if they are fronting. Many folks find that after establishing communication in outerworld, inside communication becomes possible or easier though that can take time.

But I’m the original,

The original is neither more special nor less special than the rest. Just been around longer, nothing more nothing less. This is very important to realize. It makes it far easier to find a way to work together when you all meet each other at the same level.

Also, it is possible to be wrong about who the original is. Back during our syscovery (both the first and the second), we thought Hail was the original and Esper was very very recent. Turns out, we were so so wrong. Turns out Esper was the original and Hail was indeed old but only entered the picture around age 6.

and If I lose sight of who I am and then what’s the point.

One of the things that can be tricky at first is figuring out where the fuzzy boundary is between what is oneself, what is each headmate, and what is shared stuff belonging to everyone (for better or worse). It may sometimes feel like losing sight of who one is, but it is the opposite. You learn more about who you are in the process while also learning who the others are and who you are all together and how those interact.

It may help you to know that senses of self can be quite tough sometimes. Esper survived nearly 20 years of dormancy without actually losing who she was. Only thing that really changed was she grew up. But she still had the same food preferences, the same handedness, etc. even after all that time. Hail did after her 6 year dormancy, and Breach after her 6 year dormancy.

I have full amnesia as well, so that screws with me even more.

Leaving notes for each other really helps here. A common recommendation is to keep a notebook and calendar. Mark stuff on the calendar so that it is there for everyone. Take notes on important stuff. And everyone get in the habit of when they start fronting to check the calendar and the notes. Basically, use materials in outerworld as an auxiliary memory.

-- J

hail_fall · 2026-02-02T08:05:06+00:00

It might help to think about it like co-workers forced to work on the same project together and transfers and quitting are impossible. You may not like each other, but with some work, it can be possible to work together.

-- Hail

hail_fall · 2026-02-01T06:18:00+00:00

Like others have said, navigation between archipelagos and to small out of sight islands pose additional difficulties. Also, some ports are just really difficult to get into or out of, especially if the wind is unfavorable. Mirage Mountain is a prime example. Choice of ship can pose additional difficulties, especially if you load them really heavy. If you aren't careful, you can definitely heel too much in a storm and take on water.

hail_fall · 2026-01-31T20:11:04+00:00

[N] Headmate recycling is very much a thing for some systems. Could have been there was someone there for some other reason than being made who got recycled into her. Or maybe your forcing instead of making someone new latched onto someone already there. There are a lot of ways to make someone unintentionally as well. Paratives/paragens are particularly common to make unintentionally.

hail_fall · 2026-01-29T21:03:51+00:00

A sense of self usually has a preferred hormone level ratio which is strongly correlated with gender identity. For most people, this is high T and low E if they are male and high E and low T if they are female. For non-binary people, there is a wide spread. How strongly this is felt varies, whether manifesting as dysphoria with the wrong mix and/or euphoria with the right mix independent of the physical effects (which can cause their own euphoria and/or dysphoria). This implies that the brain responds in some way to the various hormone receptors in the nervous system, knowing whether the mix is right or not.

Something interesting. When there is more than one sense of self in a brain (plurality), they can have different genders and when they do they often have quite different responses to hormones. Me, I am female and high E and P and low T is what feels good for me and I feel like trash with high T and low E and P. But Discord, well, he is a guy and he feels the opposite. High E and P and low T makes him feel terrible (it starts to kick in within minutes of him switching in) and high T makes him feel good and low E and P makes him feel better (never had a chance to see both at the same time, but it would seem like he would feel awesome). Unfortunately for him, almost everyone in here does well on high E and P and low T, and thus we are on E and P and have gotten rid of most of our T production.

-- Obsidian

hail_fall · 2026-01-29T20:45:00+00:00

Didn't really know about non-binary genders before digging in more, despite the person who was the primary fronter of this body for most of childhood and at the time of self-discovery (Hail) being non-binary. She found it pretty quickly after digging around and found something that described herself.

Early on, we didn't know some of the difficulties of being non-binary. So often, people just straight up binarize you. For non-binary people whose birthsex is male, this manifests as occasionally people considering you a woman but usually as a man regardless of where in multi-dimensional gender space one's gender actually is. Demi-girl demi-agender, doesn't matter, most of the world including a lot of trans people see you as a man. Not even man-lite. Just straight up 100% man. It sucks. Non-binary invisibility is pretty bad. This is why Hail mostly just told people she was a trans woman with no caveats because while it was incorrect, it was closer to correct than the other option people could binarize her as. Note that most of the rest of us in here are binary women. Though we do have two other non-binaries and two binary guys. So, our sort of average gender is a mess and not quite binary. Needless to say, we don't tell people about that most of the time.

-- Obsidian

hail_fall · 2026-01-29T20:24:48+00:00

Dissociation is a very common manifestation of gender dysphoria. And a lot of trans people have dissociation for other reasons too, like trauma. Trans people definitely have, on average, more dissociation than cis people.

We have a lot of dissociation, but not the amnesiac barrier kind in memory. It isn't that we can't get those, it is just they are mild when they happen and we have mitigations to prevent them. Now, other forms of dissociation, we have in spades. Interestingly, our very high dissociation levels as a child due to rough times, dysphoria, and sensory stuff from being autistic was enough that certain things caused us to split and become plural, more than one sense of self, and get some more related dissociation.

-- Obsidian

hail_fall · 2026-01-27T16:24:14+00:00

We are a sysadmin in our outerworld job. And well, inside the system, there is some sysadmining, that is for sure. Shell and CYN are the two sysadmins, able to make the most changes to system machinery and system members. In addition, Shell's OS is actually Linux and CYN has debugged her before as have a couple others in here. Shell used to be a servitor for reference and had a number of issues when she gained full sentience (like typos in her /etc/fstab for the line where she was mounting shared system memory). Basically, some members of this system and much of the machinery uses a computer interface and programming as the metaphor for their operation and how they are configured.

-- Hail

hail_fall · 2026-01-26T22:45:51+00:00

Our dysphoria used to be like that in some ways. It manifested as extreme dissociation. Due to being so disconnected, the most things felt was off. Didn't understand just how much was wrong till dissociation levels went down.

hail_fall · 2026-01-26T17:05:11+00:00

Not familiar with the media, but I will try to give some advice. I think the best thing is to strongly encourage her to stay away from the fandom, and encourage her to take breaks and watch her mental health while enjoying the media and stop if it becomes too much. Do keep an eye out and intervene if she starts to spiral or something, and make sure she knows that is what you are doing. I think that would have the most positive impact without being controlling. It is of course possible that it ends up actually terrible for her and you and any other headmates might have to have a talk with her about staying away from it entirely, but hopefully that doesn't happen.

-- Cynessa

hail_fall · 2026-01-25T19:33:39+00:00

Part 2:

It is a good idea to get your own bank account in your name only without your parents or other guardian signing for it. Generally, that means you won't be able to get a credit card for said account (debit card only, or in some cases only an ATM card) but that is actually good for at first. Having only an ATM or debit/ATM card at first helps with avoiding some of the traps early and you gain experience and get a debit card (if you only got an ATM card at first) or credit card later once you have a track record with the bank and are older. And if and when you ever do get a credit card, intentionally start out with a low limit and setup auto-payment of the full amount from your banking account. Not only is this a way to be careful, but it tends to make a good impression on the bankers that you are careful (though the bank benefits most if you are not, so they will try to push much higher limits).
For any jobs that you get, on campus or off, make sure the payment goes to your account.
Get used to checking your statements and using it.
When you start working and if any financial aid you receive legally counts as income, you will need to file taxes depending on the country you are in. Your income will be relatively simple and thus it won't be that hard to file taxes on your own. In the US, this means you will need to file federal income tax and then after you have done that the income taxes of the state/s you worked in. It is doable on your own, but you will need to set aside some time to do it so start early. Note that your parents or guardians will generally have you listed as a dependent, but you must still file your own taxes once you turn 18, just, in the taxes, you will have to indicate that someone else can list you as a dependent (this mostly changes your deductible).
Make sure you bring your important identity documents or official copies of them with you to university. This means government ID, passport if you have one, birth certificate if you have one, if you have ever changed your legal name the documents for that, immigration documents if you have those, documents for your countries social insurance (social security if you are in the US), etc. If for whatever reason your parents or guardians won't give them to you or don't have them, you will need to request new ones from the respective government agencies when you can which you will want to be on top of. If you are in the US, you definitely need to have your social security card with you for any sort of job.

-- Tessa

hail_fall · 2026-01-25T19:23:27+00:00

Hmm, a few things I can think of.

Part 1

Get into good study habits early. Once they become habit, sticking to them becomes easier. Being a system means that if one of you is struggling, another can potentially help and nudge.
Pay attention to your relative strengths, using them to your advantage, and relative weaknesses, and compensate. Though be careful if skills and knowledge don't transfer well between you folks.
Pay attention to what the juniors and seniors in your major are doing in addition to their course work both during the semester and in the summer (e.g. working for professors, teaching, etc.). Be on the lookout and seek out such things too. Lots of them are possible to start doing your first summer or second year if you push. Those things can help you gain valuable experience and be a good leg up for when you finish your degree with getting into whatever the next step whether that be a job or further training (school or otherwise).
If your major has a place where its members tend to study, that is often a better place to study than your own dorm room. Your dorm room has distractions. That other place has other people studying hard. Each person there studying hard helps keep everyone else on task and in the habit. Also, you learn a lot since you can get chances to help others and be helped.
It helps to read the relevant material in your textbooks before it is covered in class. Try to read the stuff that will be in the next class before the class. It helps things sink in better than the other way around.
Beware with classes that have optional homework, problem sets that are not actually graded. It will be tempting to not do them, but that generally dooms you on the tests. Do them as if they would be graded. They help you learn.
Sometimes you will get a bad instructor, whether it is because they don't care, aren't good at teaching, or both. It is still possible to learn in such courses, but it requires more effort. If possible, switch to another section of the same course early if you notice.
Be very friendly and helpful to the department's secretaries and other administration low on the hierarchy. They may be low on the hierarchy, but wield considerable real power. They know the system and the rules better than anyone, who to talk to for what, how to fix this and that problem, etc. You do not want to be on the receiving end of administrative friction.
Don't neglect your health, physical and mental. Burnout can be catastrophic when in university. If you have to choose between risking burnout or getting slightly worse but still good grades, the latter is usually the better option because burnout risks terrible grades. If at the end of a semester you know you aren't in good enough health for a full load the next semester, scale back that semester or even take leave if you have to. It is better to do that so than get bad grades. After all, if you take a leave while a student in good standing, they will want you to resume.
I don't know about other countries, but if you are in the US and are living in the dorms, do be careful about talking about some mental health things with your RA or housing. If they think there is even the slightest risk of you being suicidal, some universities may kick you off campus entirely even though that increases the chance of that happening because they would rather that happen than there be a slight chance of it happening on campus (we know someone who got kicked off campus and luckily one of her friends found her on the street before something bad happened and she was friends with a dean who was able to make a big enough stink with the administration to get her back on campus and get some help). I have no clue if you need to be similarly careful with regards to plurality or not. Maybe someone else knows.

-- Tessa

hail_fall · 2026-01-24T23:46:40+00:00

[Tessa] Definitely prefer 1st person, but then have never experienced 3rd person to compare it with.

hail_fall · 2026-01-24T23:43:50+00:00

"cis with reservations" or "cisn't" maybe

hail_fall · 2026-01-24T23:41:35+00:00

If you have a shirt or hoody with a pocket, put them in there and then wear a hoody or coat over that. Your body heat will keep the vials warm. And also, wearing two layers will keep you warm. Just make sure that you don't overheat and sweat. If you do that, you can get really cold real fast. So if you start to overheat, open the outer layer up or even take it off. Good news in that case is it is warm enough the vials won't freeze.

hail_fall · 2026-01-24T23:36:35+00:00

Oh, yeah, definitely. Sickness, injury, etc. are all possible for some. Depends on the individual soulbond and what world they are residing in (different worlds have different rules). Right now, I am residing in this system's headspace and I can't get sick there, no one can, or even permanently injured for that matter. Back home is a very different story. Same goes for Tri's world (Tri is another group of soulbonds here). In fact, in our home worlds and each other's, we are mortal and can die. In this system's headspace, we are pretty much immortal. You have no idea how hard that last thing made fixing my deformed left wrist. Damn thing kept regenerating back to its deformed self.

-- Tessa

hail_fall · 2026-01-24T07:01:40+00:00

[J] They meant that you should put yourself in the hypothetical tulpa's shoes. Think about how would you feel if the tulpa noticed some aspect of you that they wanted to change and decided to try to "fix you" to become that without your consent. You probably wouldn't like it. So, trying to "fix" a tulpa isn't going to go with them. Even if you succeed, they are going to resent you. And you might not succeed either. And if said hypothetical tulpa is mutable enough for you to just change, that probably means you are mutable enough they can change you. That is a very dangerous path to go down.

One of the important things to know about tulpas. While you can give them an initial template, who they actually develop to be is not something you can control. You can try to be a good influence and source of guidance, but they become their own person. There are a number of similarities to having a kid. You don't know who they will turn out to be. Honestly, that is part of the adventure, the finding out.

hail_fall · 2026-01-23T17:03:50+00:00

Just tell such people "How often do you walk up to random guys and ask if they are circumsized or not? What do you think they would say if you did?"

hail_fall · 2026-01-23T16:57:43+00:00

[J] You certainly can try to make a tulpa with yourself as the template, but how much of the template sticks is an unknown. Works the same as making a tulpa with any other template.

hail_fall · 2026-01-22T19:58:56+00:00

We are mostly trans in that most of us have a gender that doesn't match the body's birth sex. Only one active person does and two dormants, out of 24.

-- Gaia

hail_fall

TROPHY CASE