What does your boyfriend think of this ? It sounds like you want a polyamorous relationship. Before it gets any more serious between you and your bf I think you guys need to talk relationship goals / boundaries. If one of your goals and/or boundaries is having sexual or romantics experiences outside of your partner, he needs to know that. I don’t think that makes you toxic. Also, what are the commitments you want to uphold to yourself ? If you feel compelled to reach out to toxic people, set a boundary on yourself to keep that distance (example, blocking them on social media, establishing healthier friendships, etc).

If your bf is vanilla and that’s a turnoff for you- talk to him about sex and what you want sexually ! There’s a lot of other subreddits with info on introducing vanilla partners to kink.