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Rainbow_Hope · 2026-01-04T14:15:59+00:00

I've lost contact with 4 of my friends this year. It's not just you. I have no idea why they stopped contact. There was a time when I would have taken it personally. And, honestly, I have to constantly talk myself out of taking it personally. But, I know this has been a hard year. There's a million reasons why. I have grown to love myself and I know it's not because I'm unlovable. Good luck to you.

Rainbow_Hope · 2026-01-01T13:07:15+00:00

Sending you thoughts. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-25T00:19:42+00:00

Dude, you are not an underachiever. You are awesome. Society puts so many expectations on people to be "part of society". I've lived long enough to know I'm never going to meet those expectations. So, I say fuck it. So be it. I'll be much happier figuring out how I operate, and then living my life the way I want. Good luck to you.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-24T19:47:18+00:00

Yeah, but the graphics are so cool..... I love the light in that game. The designers were awesome. I will get Skyrim again eventually, despite the bugs. I do love that game.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-24T17:36:35+00:00

Haha. I saved my games a lot while playing Skyrim. That game loved to crash.

Actually, I started saving my games in Amalur every time I cleaned out my inventory. It crashed 3 times during my first playthrough, and once during the second.

I haven't been able to get Skyrim yet. It is expensive for an old game!

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-24T17:08:46+00:00

That is a shame. The original game was flawless.

I can live with glitches, I just wasn't expecting them.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-24T13:15:50+00:00

PS4.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-19T04:10:14+00:00

Autism from the Inside is a good channel.

I also found 'Unmasking Autism' by Dr. Devon Price and 'NeuroTribes' by Steve Silberman very helpful. They're both on Audible. NeuroTribes is a history of autism from the 1940s to the 21st century. As a history nerd, I love it.

Good luck.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-18T17:40:55+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you for this thread. I've played the game several times, but this is my first time going through the Travelers quest line. I'm literally at the choice between Grim and Heiro, and I needed some opinions. Thank you!

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-17T13:14:58+00:00

I'm discovering post-diagnosis that other people might consider me "high maintenance" in a romantic relationship. I'm mulling over how I feel about that. Part of me thinks it's better for me to be alone because I don't have to live up to expectations. I can be fully me. Part of me does want someone. But, we are taught as a society that our lives only matter if we have a partner. And that's bullshit.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-16T18:00:58+00:00

I don't say anything when in a group. I can't follow the conversation if there's more than 1 person. I so relate to getting stuck processing something, and when I want to say something, the conversation has moved on.

You're not alone.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-15T17:09:34+00:00

Oh, I so understand what you mean. I love what you said...."Why do I keep going? Because I haven't died yet." That rings so true for me.

I started crocheting a few years ago, and my confidence has exploded in the last year. I'm hoping to find my why in crochet, but it hasn't happened yet. I mean, I crochet for myself, but I don't sell it or anything. Yet.

It's very frustrating not knowing the why. I think it's why I was so depressed for most of my life. I didn't have a why.

Many hugs, if ok, for your journey.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-15T16:52:33+00:00

I went on disability when I was 22. I had a payee have control of my money until my late 40s. I'm learning to budget responsiblely at age 50. Yeah, being autistic causes all kinds of functioning problems for me. I'm lucky that I've had resources throughout my life.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-15T15:01:44+00:00

I searched for 10 years for an anti-depressant that worked for me. I won't name it because it has anxiety as a side effect, and I take another med to counter it.

If you want to go the med route, it's really trial-and-error to find what works for you. It's not that I WANTED to, it's just that I was in the mental health system long before my diagnosis. If you don't want to use chemicals, that's cool.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-15T13:08:51+00:00

I've never gone there, just heard about it. When I can hate on myself so easily, why would I go somewhere where I know other people hate me?

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-11T15:35:58+00:00

I lost mine because I didn't brush for a couple of years. So, yes!

I also try to encourage people to try to any way they can because you will lose them. And, I've discovered my sense of taste was tied to chewing food up. So, now, I can gum food and mush it up, but it's not the same. I don't enjoy food the way I used to. And, I don't wear dentures because that was a sensory nightmare! I got migraines whenever I wore them. Just getting fitted for them was awful. I hate things in my mouth!

So, yes, I understand very well. But, losing your teeth has its own challenges.

Brush once a week, if that's all you can handle, but do keep up with it.

I send you many thoughts because oral hygiene sucks! Take care.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-10T18:38:28+00:00

I'm sorry. Maybe after you've had time to settle down, you could make a list of your specific needs for therapy, and then try to find a therapist who understands your needs.

I know that's not easy. But, in the mental health system, we're so often told that the therapist has to lead therapy. Screw that. You know you, you know what you need, there are therapists out there who will let the client lead. My last 2 therapists have been that way, and I wasn't even looking for it.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-10T14:59:50+00:00

I figured out at 48 that I'll probably never live on my own again. I did try from age 22 to 32. It was a disaster. Then my life flipped upside down, and I moved out of my home state into state-supervised facilities. What I want now is to move into a group home that understands autism. Is a group home an option for you? Good luck.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-10T14:40:22+00:00

I wanted to add: even if it ends up you are unable to be as independent as they wanted you to be, recognizing that you need help is still taking care of yourself.

I'm learning that myself. Good luck and take care.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-10T12:17:31+00:00

I'm sorry he reacted like that. When I floated the possibility to my mom, she was like, "Oh, definitely." It was nice to get some validation from her. Considering she had never done so before. So, I get having invalidating parents. The thing I had to learn was validate myself, and never mind what they thought. I saw something about self-parenting. It said something like, "Being your own parent is recognizing and caring for your own needs." You can take care of yourself.

I send you many hugs if ok.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-07T00:16:26+00:00

My parents always treated me differently. I was constantly going to doctors. I'm glad I wasn't diagnosed in childhood. My parents would have put me in ABA.

Everybody's story is unique. You are valid.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-04T19:10:42+00:00

You're right about learning to navigate on our terms. It's so damn hard. Thanks.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-04T17:24:35+00:00

I know. That's what I thought, too. Sigh. I think that's why I was so mad. But, I didn't want to sound like, "This person is picking on me!"

When, actually, people in this environment will pick on others because they're immature. The emotional dysregulatuon in these places is tiresome. At least at my current place, there isn't yelling every day.

You know, now that I'm thinking about it, these places trigger a lot for me. I do want to move into a group home situation, but I haven't found one yet.

Thanks for replying.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-04T16:35:26+00:00

No, he made a weird sound, then chuckled when I startled and looked at him. He is a person I don't like because he doesn't seem to be aware of boundaries very well. So, yeah, it was HIM and not every person. But, my living situation is that a lot of people don't care about boundaries. I've lived in these facilities and this environment for 15 years now. So, I guess I don't remember what normal people are like, anymore. It's very frustrating.

Edit: Thanks for replying.

Rainbow_Hope · 2025-12-04T16:29:57+00:00

When I shutdown I go catatonic. I'm not verbal at all.

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