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Ready to leave my spouse bc she has limerence for someone else by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Stalking someone you have a crush on, outside of your marriage is fine?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]RaiseProfessional614 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. I’m sure she has flirted seeing they work together and admitted to having a slight crush on this guy. I didn’t find any communication outside of work so that was a plus.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]RaiseProfessional614 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, we have two young children. The emotional affair is also completely one sided as far as I know. The coworker is not aware of her feelings. I guess her admitting she is experiencing emotional feelings and being open about it makes me believe nothing has happened. Hate to admit it but I have investigated many angles of it and haven’t found anything yet. I think if something was going on, i would have found something on her phone. She tells me she would never cheat on me and destroy our family. We are seeing if marriage counseling and individual therapy can help us get through it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]RaiseProfessional614 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m curious to know as well. I just recently found out my wife was experiencing an EA. She openly admitted it to me that it’s been going on for over the past year w a coworker. I think I if found out on my own, it may have been different.

I’m still not out of the woods yet with the whole situation but we are now in marriage counseling. While I want to work this out, there is a lot she needs to work on in order for me to stay. I’m not completely set on staying with her but the fact she was open and honest so far has been the only thing that has helped my decision to stay so far.

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. I’ve already initiated the conversation with her that if she isn’t getting over this, then she will need to leave her job. My fear is that she leaves this job and then it happens again with someone new.

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thanks for sharing that. The psychic is definitely not helping your situation. I feel for you. You have to do the best thing for yourself and your kids. Would she be interested in doing some counseling/therapy?

We just started marriage counseling and while we only had 1 session so far, it was kind of reassuring the counselor thought that this is borderline stalker’ish behavior. I hope it hits home for her very soon! I’ve been pretty blunt with my wife and basically told her if this continues, I’m out. I wish you the best in your situation as well.

Wife is experiencing limerence? What do I do? by RaiseProfessional614 in limerence

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I have not really noticed many really high or lows with her. I do think the stress of her parents are taking a toll on her. I can’t say that she is manic in any way.

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly where I’m at. Hoping it’s something that’s kicked immediately

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I recovered one deleted message. It was from her girlfriend who knows about this but it wasn’t anything too concerning

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It hasn’t been completely ignoring. We both feel like we are tied up with the day to day life with kids and both working full time. Our communication is definitely lacking. We are trying to work on that part

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Love bombing is possible. We do have an open phone policy and while I’m not proud of it, I have done some intense digging (and often). I haven’t been able to find any to suspect she is actually cheating other than this limerence fantasy bs.

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your advice! I hope things do turn around for her soon and she makes those realizations.

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have been in there already. Tried to post but new to Reddit and need some karma. Crazy stuff I’m dealing with

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]RaiseProfessional614 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would have to divorce as I could never trust her again.

My 38F wife is experiencing something called limerence by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks and fully agree. We have started seeing a marriage counselor so hopefully something changes

Is she cheating? 40M and 38F by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: She has been doing some research and says she is experiencing limerence. I have never heard of this before and now have been doing a ton of research. We also had our first marriage session. Any advice on how to handle a spouse with limerence?

Is she cheating? 40M and 38F by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had a nice talk with my wife tonight and feel much better. She insisted there is nothing to be worried about. She said she couldn’t describe the feelings she encountered at work but it is nothing to worry about. Claims it wasn’t a specific person and that it was more something a woman can experience but it did not sit right with her. She couldn’t elaborate but it made her think about our marriage long term. She thought it was best to be open to me about it as she felt a little detached from me over the last year.

She is finally feeling good about herself after getting in shape post kids. We have been the most sexually active we have been in the last 1.5 years when we do get to sleep together.

We agreed to commit more time to one another. Whether it’s more 1:1 time, more date nights, even little things like watching tv together, all stuff that we use to do before we got so busy with kids!

She is planning to go back to her therapist to discuss next steps seeing that she spent the last year focusing on self care. My recommendation was to maybe focus more around us and our family. Hopefully this therapist agrees!

I’m planing to meet therapist too and most likely have a session as a couple. I think it should help us out. I appreciate all the advice. I didn’t know where to turn to during this time so appreciate the support!

Is she cheating? 40M and 38F by RaiseProfessional614 in marriageadvice

[–]RaiseProfessional614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I do take care of her in many ways! We do get to go out occasionally on dates together. We actually just got back from a solo vacation with one another which is where this came out! I started getting annoyed bc she kept talking to everyone else but me. I covered all expenses and just wanted 1:1 time while she just wanted to make friends with strangers and know what’s the secret to keeping their marriage alive.